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Pretty spot on. *NM* Stephen Send a noteboard - 22/11/2012 02:26:06 AM
The reasons why it happened may differ, but the result is the same in both instances. And please tell me what storylines got resolved in A Misery of Words Dance with Dragons.

I really enjoy the review that comes up first at amazon.com (at least for me) :

I'm Varamyr Sixskins. I'm here for the prologue to set us all up for the impending horrors of the North and all the excitement to come...

I'm Tyrion Lannister, the most popular character in all of Westeros! I spend this book meandering down a really slow river, ruminating bitterly about my life, misplacing my former charm, eroding all the goodwill I built up in the other books, and wondering where the whores go. Though perhaps I should have been wondering where the plot went. I also observe turtles and women, play board games, mouth off to all and sundry, and coincidentally run into various characters like some wandering monster in a D&D campaign. Maybe I'll make it to Daenarys in the next book, but at least I ditched that pig.

I'm Asha Greyjoy. I don't have much to do, so I'll be the POV character keeping track of Stannis and his forces. At the beginning of Dance with Dragons, he's working his way towards Winterfell to take it back from the Boltons. At the end of Dance with Dragons, he's...working his way towards Winterfell to take it back from the Boltons. Hope that helps.

I'm Ser Davon Seaworth, the Onion Knight. I'm still running errands for Stannis and getting captured frequently. It's a living.

I'm Bran Stark. I am a tree.

I'm Daenarys Targaryen. I'm only a young girl, and I know little in the ways of war, governance, what have you. I used to think I said these things to misdirect people, but as of DoD it seems to be true. I spend my time taking baths, fretting, being wishy-washy, and mooning over this hot mercenary dude. In the end I learn that "you have to go back to go forward." I would have thought that going backwards would be the last thing that this book needs, but I am only a young girl and know little of the ways of story advancement.

I'm Aegon Targaryen. I appear for the first time in book five as the long thought dead son of Prince Rhaegar and the rightful heir to the Iron Throne. I know, right? What a surprise! It's like I was just pulled from thin air! I spend much of the book traveling to Daenarys, but then I change my mind and go and invade Westeros without her. Sort of. No one important has noticed yet. See you in the next book!

I'm Griff, aka Jon Connington. I'm here to get Aegon Targaryen on the Iron Throne. I tried to tell that kid not to wait until the fifth book to show up if he wants to be king. Now nobody's invested in us. We're like, peripheral characters or something. Nobody cares. I (*sniff*) just want someone to care, you know?

I'm Theon Greyjoy. Turns out I'm not dead, though I rather wish I were. It's been rough. On the bright side, my chapters were some of the only highlights of this bloated beast of a book. I even got to be almost a hero at the end! Can't wait for the next book. Redemption arc ahoy! People like me now!

Tyrion: Settle down sailor. You're not really a major character, and people still don't like you.

I'm Jaime Lannister. I snuck in to steal a chapter just like I would steal a kiss from my sweet sister. Oh look, there's Brienne! She's not dead after all. Whatever could have happened? Oops, we gotta go now, so I'll guess we'll never know. Blink and you'll miss us!

I'm Ser Robert *cough*Gregor*cough* Strong *cough*not dead*cough*. Gregor SMASH!

I'm the Hound. You know, I strongly suspect that I might not be dead either.

Tyrion: Quiet, you. No one even mentions you in this book.

I'm Wyman Manderly. I'm a minor character, but I bring a bit of awesome anyway. I was last seen bleeding from a neck wound. I wonder if I'll die. Your guess is as good as the author's.

I'm John Snow. I command the wall and defend Westeros from the horrors of the North. I count sides of beef and sausages, receive messages, meet with my staff, greet newcomers, and find bedrooms for all the wildings. Seriously, am I a commander or a butler? It's the end of the book already, we need some action! I'll march on Winterfell and retake it from the cursed Boltons! Away we go! Oh, dang it. Stabbed from all sides. There goes that plan. It sure does seem like I'll die now...

I'm Quentyn Martell. I'm kind of a side plot that has no impact at all on the main story. Then I die. But the good news is that I really am dead for sure!

I'm Melisandre. I get a chapter where I play with fire and see things and act all cryptic with people. Well, I have to amuse myself somehow. It's booorrring at the wall.

I'm Victarion Grayjoy.

Sailing, sailing, over the bounding main!

This book will end

Before I meet

Daenarys Targaryen!

I'm Aero Hota. Don't worry, I don't really remember who I am either. Not much to see here, anyway.

I'm Cersei Lannister. I get two chapters of humiliation. I can has some of Theon's reader sympathy now? No? Well then. I won't forget this. A Lannister always pays his debts...maybe in the next book.

I'm Ayra Stark. I'm in two chapters, too, and I kill someone, like I always do. But this time it's different; this time someone told me to. That's progress. Maybe someday I'll kill someone who has something to do with the main story.

I'm Barriston Selmy. I putter around Meereen, trying in some small way to advance the plot. Alas, to little avail. I'm too old for this.

I'm Kevan Lannister. I waited a thousand pages for a POV and all I got was this lousy epilogue and a quarrel in the chest. Oh well. At least I'm well and truly done with this mess.

Varys: Maybe.

We're the Others. We are the horror of the North and theoretically the real Big Bad Threat in this series. It's five books in, and we still haven't really gotten to do anything yet. To be honest, we're too bored to bother any more. We're going to invade Canada instead and subdue them to our icy will. Apologies everyone!
"I mean, if everyone had a soul, there would be no contrast by which we could appreciate it. For giving us this perspective, we thank you." - Nate
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Brandon Sanderson, The Emperor's Soul - 18/11/2012 08:43:13 PM 1508 Views
Sounds like my kind of Sanderson book! - 19/11/2012 01:48:56 AM 692 Views
De gustibus... - 19/11/2012 02:28:10 AM 870 Views
Better than average? Now I'm really excited *NM* - 19/11/2012 08:48:31 PM 365 Views
Such a low threshold for excitement *NM* - 19/11/2012 11:43:51 PM 391 Views
The more Brandon's career evolves... - 19/11/2012 04:35:26 AM 849 Views
Speed kills - 19/11/2012 04:38:27 PM 776 Views
I agree with both of you - 19/11/2012 05:27:30 PM 822 Views
You wouldn't put Erikson in that category? - 20/11/2012 06:03:05 AM 813 Views
Although there are uneven moments, I think his work accomplishes a shade more than the other two - 20/11/2012 06:11:34 AM 764 Views
Re: Although there are uneven moments, I think his work accomplishes a shade more than the other two - 20/11/2012 03:12:45 PM 770 Views
True - 21/11/2012 02:56:08 AM 753 Views
Indeed - 21/11/2012 03:58:05 AM 768 Views
It is difficult to find a fit word for it, it seems - 22/11/2012 04:24:01 AM 960 Views
Re: Speed kills - 19/11/2012 08:59:14 PM 868 Views
With Martin it's what I call "Robert Jordan Syndrome" - 20/11/2012 02:31:22 AM 1615 Views
Re: With Martin it's what I call "Robert Jordan Syndrome" - 20/11/2012 04:12:03 PM 970 Views
I don't think it's very accurate to call Dance with Dragons a "CoT". - 20/11/2012 07:53:59 PM 720 Views
I sure think it is. - 20/11/2012 08:12:41 PM 840 Views
Hilarious... *NM* - 21/11/2012 12:07:40 AM 402 Views
Pretty spot on. *NM* - 22/11/2012 02:26:06 AM 656 Views
It isn't. - 02/12/2012 11:26:09 AM 889 Views
Dear Sanderson - 19/11/2012 04:49:28 PM 720 Views
I think some of the tendency can be blamed on aMoL - 05/12/2012 07:23:45 PM 771 Views

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