Writing a journal entry is often a good way to work out a problem, relieve some tension, or get good advice from the other people here at RAFO. You have the option to make them private or public and can change that at any time after you’ve posted. Below are the most recent public entries for you to view and comment on if you’ve good advice or commiserations to add.
Seriously, My little family unit, got a dog. A German Sheppard named, Roslyn Mae. Rosie, she's a little high strung, like shae, like me.
It took me a LONG time to come to grips with the hows, the whys, the whatthefuckevers. I could apologize until i am blue in the face and it wouldn't matter. I'm pretty much over it. Lessons were learned, mistakes were made. Really bad, unforgivable mistakes. I get that. I take full responsibility for my end of that shit fest. that's really, all I have to say about that.
There is no way I can continue working here. My boss is a sociopath - as in, devoid of compassion or consideration for other people. The incident that decided me wasn't even about me - it was about someone else. I know for certain now that I cannot stay here long-term. I cannot work for someone evil. So I have a focus now - focus on research, preparing stories to tell during interviews, revamping my resume to reflect what I want to be doing, and then doing it. It doesn't matter that my bonus is paid March-June. In the long term, that money doesn't even matter.
I took this vacation because for the last several weeks I was angry every morning going to work. At work too, but the fury starts in the morning. I told myself to give until March 1. I have another vacation coming up, maybe that will help. But if this feeling doesn't go away after a month, that's a problem.
i tried posting on the CMB, but uh
Author: BeccaStarr Send a noteboard
Posted: 24/11/2013 01:18:22 AM
it keeps telling me, I entered something incorrectly, so here i am. Amy i am sorry to hear about Chuck's condition. Prayers sent your way.
I've got seasonal affective disorder, or at least my version of it. I don't get it in the dark of winter, I get it when the temperature shifts from summer to fall - the fall blues is what I call it. Sets in usually early to mid-October, or late September, and hopefully gone in December, once temperatures stabilize. It's a mean bugger, and it took me several days just to recognize what was happening. Awareness is key though. I am approaching this like a depression, like a disease. So, my action plan:
Gym. Physical activity is key to regulating moods, levels of energy and feelings of well-being. Now that I know I'm supposed to be feeling sluggish and fatigued, it won't stop me from starting to exercise again. Medicinal exercise, not to feel good, but to keep from feeling worse.
Energetic morning routine. Mornings set the tone for the entire day.
Resist the slide into apathy. Don't let yourself wallow.
Pour energy into work. Since you won't be feeling well, might as well be productive, so there's something to show at the end of it. I'm not asking you to throw yourself into social interactions, but this kind of introverted mood is actually perfect for getting work done. Repeat: you're not happy anyway, might as well work.
Don't break up with your boyfriend. Don't avoid him, don't push him away. Make sure to see him about twice a week.
Eat lunch. Eat dinner. But at least lunch. You don't have to save money, you have enough money.
Before any action, whether it's deciding to be late to work, to not go into a meeting, to cancel plans with friends, to skip meals, to be grumpy - ask yourself, is this a manifestation of the fall blues? What's the intention behind this action? Is it to make yourself feel worse, to let the disease take deeper root?
More pathetic wangst from me
Author: Yunalesca Send a noteboard
Posted: 04/09/2013 01:37:24 AM
and this time its a doozy. I'm basically trapped in two love triangles.
One is very ambiguous as person 2 and 3 may or may not be dating or even feel that way but I feel like I can't ask either about what's going on as I haven't been friends with either for very long and I don't want my craziness to ruin the friendship I have with both.
The other is simpler but so much worse as person 2 in that one is dating someone else and I feel horrible for still having feelings for him and trying to be friendly.
How do I even start to get out of this mess? I hate love triangles and I don't want to hurt anyone else involved. Am I just being totally stupid and over sensitive or am I a horrible person?
I spent the last week helping move and get my little brother set up in his apartment in Bloomington, Indiana, home of Indiana University, where he will begin his doctoral program in microbiology. Bloomington seems like a nice place. I didn't get to see a lot of it, but what I did see was nice.
As with any move, there are always a few hiccups. The most serious is my back. I hurt it pretty badly moving this god-awful leather recliner out of my dad's house. The thing is big and wide and I wrenched my back bringing it up the narrow staircase to the basement. But, as long as I don't do anymore heavy lifting for a while, it should be fine.
The drive to Bloomington went well (we stopped a night at my big brother's house in Illinois), but when we arrived we couldn't get in the apartment. The property manager wasn't there to meet us like he was supposed to. We called him, but got the recording saying the customer is not available. So we called the building's owner. He showed up quickly, but he couldn't get a hold of the property manager either. The owner's daughter had the apartment before my brother (so the amenities are a little better than the other units), so he called his wife to see if she had a spare key left behind by their daughter. She showed up with two keys, neither of which worked. So the owner called a locksmith. The first locksmith tried to pick the lock but couldn't. Another one showed up and they decided to drill out the locks and install new ones. The owner (also a state appeals court judge) was embarrassed about the whole situation, which he apologized for many times and he gave us a $150 gift card to a nice restaurant.
The only real drawback to the apartment in my view is the air conditioner. It is very loud. So loud that we would've had to turn up the sound on the TV so high, the neighbors would hear every word perfectly, but instead we turned on the captioning.
And finally, I'm gonna miss the little twerp.
From the "How is that News?" Department
Author: Palatine Send a noteboard
Posted: 09/07/2013 03:43:14 PM
Paraphrase of the BBC World Service:
People who sing together in a choir have near exact heartbeats.
I heard that and thought, "Duh. They're breathing the same amount at the same time." The rest of the report went on to say exactly that, but in more words, while also saying this was amazing. No, it's not amazing, it's common sense. Then it said, (I guess as justification; implying it's health news) that singing lowers blood pressure. Again, I thought, "Duh. All that breath-holding is gonna do that."
I guess it must have been a slow news day and it can only analyze Egypt so much. But still, why report something as news that isn't actually news? The worst is the part where the report said scientists studied the effect.
I can imagine actual scientists proposing this idea and being the curious sort they are, testing the theory. But I can't imagine they'd write a paper about it or issue a press release. At best, I see them talking about it with colleagues over some drinks.
My husband got his diagnosis. I'm not going to post it here, but if you would like to be brought up to date - please send me a note (or message me on Facebook if we are friends there).
I will say this. It's very, very bad
Probably staying put for now
Author: Aeryn Send a noteboard
Posted: 09/05/2013 01:50:46 PM
So I probably will stay at my current job for now. First big reason is money and time off. I already have big vacation plans and would have to save for a while to cover them, and save even more if I plan on taking a 60% salary cut. I can also use my tenure here as leverage for more vacation days, which I realize I need desperately. But I have been very energized in the last 2 weeks, more so than ever before. I'm saying yes to all and any meetings, I'm doing networking outside (going to meetup groups that catch my eye), also smiling at people in meetings. That makes a big difference. Went to a client meeting with my boss yesterday, got to watch how he talks with clients. I need more data to learn. I've also identified a bunch of books on selling/marketing/networking, going to be reading more.
Another development that makes me more optimistic, the boss mentioned they might be merging with a smaller team that's coming over soon - a woman financial advisor, analyst and client associate. I want to be in a larger group, have more people to talk with. A larger group is more opportunities. Oh, and my target is going to be 401(k) plans and pension plans. I'm going to learn all about this stuff, and then we'll start prospecting.
So we'll see how my energy level holds up after several weeks and several months. Also getting the intern will help me with economic research. I need 4 weeks of vacation damn it!!!
I've been bouncing around different ideas for the next step in my career, and the latest is - financial advisor. An older alum of my school believes wealth management is the best, and that I can totally do it. At first I was intimidated by the idea of a sales based business, and this particular company has very high hurdles - you have to bring in several millions of assets in the first year, but then I started thinking about it, and I had all these ideas. There are enough people in my parents and friends network who could give me professional leads for contact with accountants and attorneys, and that's how you get started. My parents have wanted me to do this.
Granted, I also got really excited about several other opportunities when they came up, from programmer to consultant to relationship manager, but this is different. One, it's a direct continuation of my career path, not a sideways move. This is the business I've been in for 6 years and work I'm good at. Two, the alumna wants to mentor me and take me on as a junior partner, and that makes all the different. It was the biggest complaint people had about that company's program, the lack of mentoring by senior advisors (and also the short time in which to bring in business). Three, this is essentially like becoming a small business owner. A big risk, low salary for the first two years, a lot of work, but unlimited growth opportunity and the satisfaction of building your own business. It would get me out of the rat race. It would give me a vision of what i will be doing 10, 20 years - something I don't have now.
So I'm still excited about this in the morning. I'll talk to my bf and parents about it (how willing would they be to help me network? would they trust me with their money? how do I get through the first year of low salary?). I do so love having something to look forward to. My mind is always working, always churning. Currently the only creative outlet I have is planning my vacations, and watching my own investments & budget. This could give me another one.
Back on March 24th, I crashed my beloved 2004 Chevy Suburban (big, beautiful gas guzzling monster). It was Saturday night and me and a friend were headed to the bar for some drinks and food after work. It had begun to snow just recently in the evening and it was coming down hard and the wind was blowing fiercely.
Me and my friend, Heather, entered the highway. The on ramp is a very sharp turn, which causes one to go slow even in good weather. I entered fine, but the on ramp lane quickly turns into an exit ramp lane, so I needed to get over. I signaled, looked and began to get over to my left. After getting into the next lane, my truck began to fishtail to the left. That's when it all went bad.
I was only doing about 35 mph. I honestly don't remember if I corrected in the wrong direction or not. But the back end kept going. We ended up doing a full spin plus a little more. When the car finally stopped its spin, we were headed for the concrete guard rail on the right side of the highway. The front right side of my truck hit and we bounced back about five feet. Me and Heather suffered only minor injuries. I bruised my sternum where my seat belt lay across my chest. Heather got a nasty bruise on her right knee. We both had some sore muscles for a while in our upper backs. Probably some minor whiplash. In retrospect, I probably shouldn't have gotten on an elevated highway while it was snowing that heavily and had only begun so recently that there hadn't been any plowing done yet.
Cutting out some unimportant details here, to make this shorter, my car was towed. Heather's husband came and picked us up. Well, finally the insurance company decided to total the car. This particularly sucked because I only had three more payments left on it. The insurance company took a little too long, in my opinion, to get me a check, but they did give me more for it than I thought they would, so I was pleased about that.
I used that money as a down payment on my new vehicle. It's not my dream car, nor anything special. I just needed a ride--going without for three weeks is quite annoying. Anyway, I bought a 2010 Jeep Compass. It has 4WD which my Suburban did not. I bought the Suburban when I lived in suburban L.A. There's not a lot of call for 4WD there, unless you go to the mountains a lot, which I didn't. 4WD was not a concern when I bought it, therefore. The Jeep was rather cheap. It's a manual transmission and doesn't have a lot of bells and whistles. Again, I was going for transportation rather than what I really wanted. More good news is that with my very good credit rating I got a 1.85% interest rate and monthly payments under $150 per month.
Anyway, that's my little story.
i miss people that aren't around anymore ...it's getting better. i hate my job. i hate where i live. i hate the people i work with. it's just stagnant. the people i work with are so incredibly back stabbing, unappreciative bastards. i'm tired of the bullshit, but 15 years in the same end i shit. i want to travel, just go anywhere
I had a dream I was hanging out with Anna Netrebko somehow, and the something very bad happened in the world. Like she was going to die soon, or there was a war about to start. She was very upset and 2 hours late to the performance (which I realize is impossible in opera, because it involves hundreds of other people), but then she started singing, and it was the best thing in the world. It was so good it made the end of the world worthwhile. It was La Traviata, and she didn't hold anything back, didn't conserve or protect her voice at all, and it was an absolutely unreal sound. Tears were streaming down my face. In the middle, she had to stop bbecause she strained her vocal cords, and then other things happened, but it all pales in comparison with the singing.
This is all because I'm excited to be seeing La Traviata in two weeks with Placido Domingo singing the father, and Diana Damrau as Violetta. The reviews say she was spectacular, and got one of the most sustained standing ovations in recent Met history. And I'll be seeing Anna Netrebko next year in Eugene Onegin. The dream was an impossible scenario, but I still remember the feeling of undiluted aural pleasure.
Success/And not so much
Author: Amelia Pond Send a noteboard
Posted: 22/03/2013 04:58:07 PM
I recently found an old profile where I described myself pretty well for the time - the timeframe was about 2009. Things were "getting there" but they were certainly not where I wanted them to be.
Since then, I have built a photo group that now has almost 900 members - of which many hundreds of them are actually active with the group. I have built a photo business (weddings/families and seniors) that still has a ways to go, but I book several thousands of dollars a year in work.
Life on this front is pretty good.
In other news - for those of you that know my husband Chuck (MI2K4), things aren't so great. Chuck is very, very sick. So sick, in fact, that they don't know what is wrong with him other than it is some sort of auto immune thing. They have actually sent us out of our home hospital, and are sending us to a research university where we are scheduled to see the head neuro guy who is semi retired but now only sees "interesting" cases. (shakemyhead, I didn't really mean it when I said I wanted to meet McDreamy).
So for those of you so inclined - we would very much appreciate your good thoughts and/or prayers. I have no idea what this is, and I'm doing what I can to learn, but I'm swimming here in ocean deep waters.
My Current Events (or Things I've done recently or will do soon)
Author: Palatine Send a noteboard
Posted: 03/03/2013 02:19:30 PM
(This is mostly for a change on this page.)
Winter Storm Q (I think it was Q) his us pretty hard here in Wichita. I've been told that's the most snow we've gotten since 1971. I was unable to get my car out of its parking spot one day. But since my department is a 24-hour operation and I'm one of only about 8 people that can do my job well, my new boss came and got me.
I applied for another job within my company that I really wanted and I didn't get it.
I'm in the middle of a four-day weekend . . . which means I have a ten-day work week ahead of me.
I watched Bridesmaids. The movie was not funny, except for one bit. The rest was stuff junior high schoolers could make up. Like pretty much any Adam Sandler or Kevin James movie (or most comedies these days).
The funny bit:
(Scene set-up): Main character lost her job and got kicked out of her apartment and got univited to her best friend's wedding. She moved in with her mom. Morning of the wedding.
Mom says something about going to the wedding.
Daughter says something about her friend not wanting her there.
Mom decided not to argue and says: I'll make you a tuna fish sandwich.
Daughter: It's 8:30 in the morning.
Mom: You can put syrup on it.
Which reminds me. It's awards season. I've given up on them. I've gave up on the Grammys twenty years ago when Jethro Tull won for Best Heavy Metal performance. And while the Oscars could be snobbish a lot of the time, at least the Best Picture winner was always a good movie. That is, until Slumdog Millionaire. That movie was a heap of crap. At least Argo was pretty good.
On the positive front, I don't have any TV service so I can't watch Game of Thrones at my place. (Really, it's about to get positive.) However, my friend said he will give me his HBO GO credentials so I can watch it on my computer. Yay, Chad.
I'm up to 72 beers in the Old Chicago World Beer Tour. I'm currently in the middle of the St. Patrick's Day mini-tour. A lot of Irish Reds and Guinness, of course.
My truck will be paid off in June. That's gonna make my wallet very happy.
I'm contemplating getting a texting plan for my phone. I've only had a cell phone for about 2 years. I use about 5 minutes a month. Given that, when my contract expires this year, I should probably switch to a pre-paid or pay-as-you-go plan.
[WARNING: American Football Reference] Roger Goddell and, by extension, Paul Tagliabue, really piss me off.
I'm getting a new baseball simulation game in April. I really hope the in-game mode is worth it this time.
That's about it. Nothing major or dramatic, which is the way I like it.
onward to bigger and better things
Author: Ruby Send a noteboard
Posted: 10/02/2013 05:02:49 PM
what are the 2 sexiest farm animals? brown chicken, brown cow.
and it i guess the second isn't so much a joke...
it's so frack'n cold i think i just farted a snowflake.
i guess tomorrow is a new day, fresh start. chance to change the world again.