I just don't know how to deal with that knowledge.

She has been sick and annoying for a while now but still... I remember when I got her at the shelter and it felt like she picked me out. Her name was Sable and I changed it because it was too noble for a weird-o like her.

I renamed her Lolo- Hawaiian for Crazy.

She loved to jump in the air to catch toys that made sounds like wings flapping and she couldn't get enough of stinky shoes.

Then she started puking and pooping on everything I own and I was mad at her and then she was sick and I took her to the doctor and I couldn't afford the medicines and... well...

She's gone now.

No more litter tracked on the floor and fur all over my clothes and no more intuitive nudges of my leg when I'm feeling really down.

Blergh.