And then the Earth is wiped out by some manner of mutually assured destruction. And the Assholes of Mars are all that remains of humanity. And they breed and populate Mars and make it the Asshole Planet. And aliens who drop by our solar system say "Wow, humans are nothing but assholes!"

And, yes, I like starting sentences with "And".

And I almost joked that it would be a lot like the Republican National Convention but I totally restrained myself. I didn't even mention it in smaller font here at the end. Maybe.