Re: For you love experts out there: One vs Many - Edit 1
Before modification by Zalis at 09/02/2011 08:31:58 PM
1. Is there one person out there meant for you (soulmate) or an endless combination of suitable choices?
There are billions of people on this planet. Out of those, there are a number of people who would make excellent mates. In other words: No, I do not believe in a single soul mate.
2. If soulmates did exist, what do you think the odds would be of actually finding them?
Depending on one's worldview, you're either counting on providence or raw odds.
3. How long after a breakup/divorce is it acceptable to start dating again?
As long as it takes for your wounds to heal, IMO. Time does not heal all wounds. (it merely dulls the pain, if left unaddressed)
4. If you come out of a long-term relationship wanting to date right away, what do you think that means in regards to your feelings for that person?
I think it means you want to be fixed, to move on. Again, I don't recommend it. We're not good mates until we can learn who we are and are alright living on our own. (i.e., to avoid codependency)
5. How would you describe your romantic feelings; soft puddy or steel?
Feelings are warm and fuzzy, though we'd do well to remind ourselves that real love is a choice, not an emotion. Emotions surely accompany it, but they can be fickle and fleeting.
6. In relation to the question above, describe your openness to your partner on a scale of 1-10. One being a closed book and 10 being open as a flower towards the sun.
Probably an 8. I'm pretty open, though I keep certain topics for later stages. (like engagement -- I'm a long-term kind of guy)
7. Do you agree or disagree with this statement: "If couples really knew what the other person was thinking, there would be no couples."
Disagree, because that assumes all couples are duplicitous. People doing it right are honest about intentions and able to discuss things with a person. The facades appear when we jump right into the dating scenario and essentially lie to impress others.
8. On a scale of 1-10, rate the importance of sex in a relationship.
IMO, not important until marriage, because I'm keeping it for then. (no, I am not 14) I don't want to hear crap about test driving a car before buying, because any couple with a total attraction factor will have no issue with making love. For what it's worth, though, I think my girlfriend is gorgeous. What we've done is made that commitment and are continuing to stick with it. The problem is that many, many people today view sex as the ultimate expression of romantic love. (but surprise, surprise -- it's not)
9. Do you always remember the first person you loved?
Yes. That's why we need to guard our hearts.
10. When it comes to the end of a relationship; is it better to burn out or fade away?
If you mean a clean break or "staying friends," I'd always stay a clean break. You may be friends again in the long run, but maintaining contact in the short term only keeps you from moving on and growing as a person.