Things they don't teach you in school: Badger Impairment
Obsidian Ashaman Send a noteboard - 11/07/2011 02:25:28 AM
The thing you have to understand about a badger is that you can never, ever tell when they are drunk.
Oh, you can try. You can make 'em walk a line. You can make a crack about their sister and see how they take it. Hell, you could even make 'em blow a breathalyzer, though I've not yet met the man as survived the attempt.
The only way to really know a badger's mind is to look into its eyes. It'll lock you. Deep. It will stare back into you so deeply that if you are truly your own master, you can feel its reflection upon your soul. From this one self you must struggle to parse what is not you, and whatever is left must therefore be badger. When you realize that all that remains is madness, your jaw cracking from laughter that you can not stop, you will have understood. Drunk? The badger is so much more than drunk.
Or maybe that's just me.
Oh, you can try. You can make 'em walk a line. You can make a crack about their sister and see how they take it. Hell, you could even make 'em blow a breathalyzer, though I've not yet met the man as survived the attempt.
The only way to really know a badger's mind is to look into its eyes. It'll lock you. Deep. It will stare back into you so deeply that if you are truly your own master, you can feel its reflection upon your soul. From this one self you must struggle to parse what is not you, and whatever is left must therefore be badger. When you realize that all that remains is madness, your jaw cracking from laughter that you can not stop, you will have understood. Drunk? The badger is so much more than drunk.
Or maybe that's just me.
Obsidian Asha'man
Look, I thought the badger was drunk, okay?
- 07/07/2011 06:58:36 PM
1077 Views
Amy needs to get in line
- 07/07/2011 09:36:58 PM
718 Views
I can fix that, you know.
- 07/07/2011 09:54:53 PM
759 Views
Re: I can fix that, you know.
- 07/07/2011 10:02:31 PM
712 Views
There was a discussion at work about buying a personal one-man helicopter for funsies.
- 08/07/2011 01:47:26 AM
705 Views
~takes notes~
- 08/07/2011 01:53:09 AM
690 Views
Wait, moondog is rocket powered now?
- 08/07/2011 03:28:33 PM
714 Views
Another satisfied customer!
- 08/07/2011 08:26:12 PM
691 Views
I'm under court order not to send any more gifts from the Christmas catalog. 
- 09/07/2011 11:43:42 AM
1046 Views
- 09/07/2011 11:43:42 AM
1046 Views
I have read this a few times and I don't buy it!
- 08/07/2011 08:36:15 PM
698 Views
- 08/07/2011 08:36:15 PM
698 Views
It's people like you who make people like me make people like Igor.
- 08/07/2011 08:56:37 PM
717 Views
Tsk. A whole weekend to build a cybearg.
- 08/07/2011 10:17:54 PM
768 Views
Who ... who let this fraud in my post?
- 08/07/2011 10:48:04 PM
765 Views
I've been telling you for years that morality and science are separate things.
- 08/07/2011 10:52:32 PM
700 Views
You might be interested in my Bionic Cream.
- 08/07/2011 11:06:46 PM
721 Views
If Obsidian Ashaman doesn't show up to reply to this, I'm going to be disappointed.
- 10/07/2011 07:56:23 PM
777 Views
You can do all that and more with the Personal Redislocater Orientation Device (PROD).
- 11/07/2011 03:46:02 PM
705 Views
Re: You can do all that and more with the Personal Redislocater Orientation Device (PROD).
- 12/07/2011 01:01:32 AM
701 Views
Things they don't teach you in school: Badger Impairment
- 11/07/2011 02:25:28 AM
716 Views
Problem: you used a drunk badger, when you should have gone with a hungry wolverine.
- 11/07/2011 05:06:50 PM
712 Views