Multinational drug companies spend a lot of time and money trying to make sure that when they sell you that pill for mega-bucks that will cure your ingrowing toenails, they do not inadvertently kill you in the process.

The tests can take 10-15 years, and even then sometimes do not prove safety - think Vioxx™

The drug companies need patent protection so that they can get back their costs (plus a healthy profit on top to pay for things that do not quite work out as intended) and really only focus on developing new medications that they can get patent protection for.

Moving to osteo-arthritis. My Mother had it for the last 30 years of her life, so I am aware of it and I really, really, really hope that genetics do not have nasty surprises in store for me. I managed to counteract the little hypertension genes both my patents bequeathed to me, which has made me doubly watchful for any other little genetic gems they might have slipped in there

There is a drug that is very cheap to make, is made from the European Birch Tree so raw materials are plentiful, works like a dream on osteo-arthritis, but because it is already out of patent protection as it is an existing medication, is not being pursued by the drug companies.

It works. It is used in veterinary medicine to rebuild lost or damaged cartilage on joints (as long as there is some left to work from), but animals just do not last that long and nobody sues the vet if your puppy up and dies at age 16 from some nasty side-effect after being on this drug for four years made his life happy and active. Give this to people, and who knows what the side-effects will be after 15 years!

There is a FDA-acceptable long term study being carried out in Japan; they are ten years into a fifteen year study. If it all pans out well and the participants do not suffer liver or kidney etc explosion after Year 13, you can expect every generic drug manufacturer to have this drug available by 2020, which is when you decrepit lot may well need it, apart from The Immaculate Snoop™ of course.

Downside? It is only effective in the injectable form; stomach acids destroy it.

Availability? You can get today, if you can get your MD to inject you with it, as it is FDA approved for some bladder problem.

Name? One name is Cartrophen.

I could have written this as a rant against multi-national drug companies. Or Governments. Or both. But I decided to play straight, for a change

Why did I bother? As you all are aware, none of you, apart from The Immaculate Snoop™, is getting any younger, but more importantly your parents are right in the firing line for osteo-arthritis. It is particularly bad in people who have tried to stay fit with jogging, running, lots of high-impact gym work.

How did I find it? I have an arthritic dog who two years ago could not get up without crying; today he is leaping around like a young dog, without pain or need for pain medication. My MD/GP happens to own the half-sisters of one of my dogs, so we get to talking about canine matters. He was an arthritic fitness fanatic of 42. Naughty boy is now injecting himself and is now a fitness fanatic of 44 who used to be arthritic.

Just remember the name Cartrophen, and watch out for news of a new wonder anti-arthritis drug.

You may now all return to your normal duties