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This sounds like a job for ... Nate Send a noteboard - 29/11/2011 11:07:03 PM
... SuperNate!

~clears throat~

Here's what I'd do with what you wrote:

I scry you've grown a wishbone there,
Whereon your backbone ought to be.
Your days have sewn more fear than fair,
But hearken child of Eve to me!


If beauty be your head's desire,
Naught but shade shall dance with thee;
And if you hide your heart's true fire,
Soon disaster will you see.


(I have no idea what this third stanza means in your story, so I'mma wing it.)

This curse upon you, note it well,
Choose one path or the other free.
Beyond these roads two, truth I tell,
Lie pains in one or joys in three.


If you within the year uphold
To stand for you and bend no knee,
Then yours shall be a beauty gold,
And peace, and love, my sweetest pea.
Warder to starry_nite

Chapterfish — Nate's Writing Blog
http://chapterfish.wordpress.com
This message last edited by Nate on 29/11/2011 at 11:07:40 PM
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Oh, Hello there! You guys like to read, right? Well, I need your help! ^_^ [UPDATED] - 29/11/2011 07:31:51 PM 656 Views
I'm not really sure there's enough context there to help - 29/11/2011 08:06:02 PM 351 Views
Fear Darrig - 29/11/2011 10:09:16 PM 412 Views
*muse* I'm thinking about the character from V for Vendetta - 29/11/2011 08:32:34 PM 369 Views
MmmmM... me likes. - 29/11/2011 10:10:03 PM 371 Views
To wry from writ will wreak wroth! - 30/11/2011 12:25:10 AM 399 Views
Try weaving the rhymes - 29/11/2011 09:01:39 PM 376 Views
Weaving the rhymes? - 29/11/2011 10:14:55 PM 366 Views
ABABAB, presumably. *NM* - 29/11/2011 10:16:14 PM 158 Views
Yes, yes... - 29/11/2011 10:18:41 PM 381 Views
Oh. Sorry. *NM* - 29/11/2011 10:24:33 PM 148 Views
nah... honest mistake... - 29/11/2011 10:34:29 PM 337 Views
ah - 30/11/2011 06:42:01 AM 451 Views
I see. Good point. *NM* - 02/12/2011 03:06:36 AM 198 Views
Blergh. It still sounds crap! - 29/11/2011 10:36:10 PM 400 Views
This sounds like a job for ... - 29/11/2011 11:07:03 PM 383 Views
the addition of archaic sounding language does a lot. *NM* - 29/11/2011 11:24:09 PM 179 Views
Wow. - 29/11/2011 11:53:46 PM 374 Views
Oh And.... - 30/11/2011 12:12:09 AM 387 Views
Alright... here's my second stab at it. - 30/11/2011 04:06:10 AM 375 Views
Dust and Sparkles! - 30/11/2011 01:36:58 AM 361 Views
Uhm... The thread you were looking for... - 30/11/2011 04:22:50 AM 381 Views
I am equal parts embarrassed by and proud/jealous of you; congrats. - 30/11/2011 03:03:20 PM 343 Views
hahahahaha i was so confused there for a second - 30/11/2011 03:17:09 PM 345 Views
Ah ha. - 30/11/2011 03:56:27 PM 348 Views
- 02/12/2011 03:09:51 AM 439 Views
- 02/12/2011 01:44:36 PM 330 Views
BwAhHAhAhHAhaa... - 02/12/2011 03:10:09 AM 419 Views
Well, I had a few RL friends who all joined in... - 02/12/2011 03:08:49 AM 402 Views
Wait, peer pressure can be a GOOD thing? - 02/12/2011 01:47:06 PM 401 Views
Indeed. - 03/12/2011 12:33:43 AM 587 Views
It would. - 03/12/2011 11:38:35 PM 447 Views

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