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Well that's not all that abnormal at all Isaac Send a noteboard - 14/03/2013 02:32:14 AM

View original postI wasn't trying to imply there was anything more than a crush (and I think fascination is more fitting than crush in my case). We've talked from time to time so I know some things about her. In regards to fascination, mostly it's just that she's really fun to be with, and has sense of humour. She also laughs alot. I enjoy her company. The part that is causing me problems is how am I going to get to know her better than the current level of occasional chat at uni? It's mostly just me having a nervous, shy and slightly akward personality, so I'm sort of fishing for ways to overcome that without coming out as akward and/or creepy. If you think I don't make sense, you're not the only one. I'm pretty confused myself.

If she's someone you've talked with a fair numbers of times and found fascinating then we're in a reasonably common set of circumstances. I can certainly sympathize with a fondness for cheerful humorous sorts. The upside for you is that such people are typically the most approachable people around, arguably the ideal people for the socially awkward to chat with. So you presumably know her well enough that if circumstance puts you together you don't need an excuse to strike up a conversation, you just don't expect fate to provide too many of these and are worried you'll bungle it.

As to how to get to know her better and elevate it beyond occasional random chat, there is only one way, make sure your end of the chat is interesting to her. You can only influence two aspects of that, knowing what she finds interesting and being a good talker. Part of that latter is mode of delivery, the other is knowing how to fish for what someone finds interesting. Just about everybody likes to talk about themselves, especially if you've got the relaxed, open, interested manner going on and before very long you'll find a something mutually interesting to talk about.

With most people you can just smile, keep your eyes on their face, and simply repeat minor variations of "That's interesting" and always asking a question very parallel to the current subject but just enough apart to shift it to another subject to continue fishing until you find something mutually interesting. At that point you will naturally be less awkward and more relaxed because you'll be discussing something you both find interesting.

The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift.
- Albert Einstein

King of Cairhien 20-7-2
Chancellor of the Landsraad, Archduke of Is'Mod
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So, there's this girl at my Uni. - 10/03/2013 09:46:07 PM 1028 Views
I'm not sure if you sound young, or I'm just old. - 10/03/2013 10:08:35 PM 623 Views
Sounds logical. - 10/03/2013 10:30:53 PM 673 Views
Add her on Facebook - 10/03/2013 11:35:44 PM 625 Views
I'm not sure if I agree with this. - 11/03/2013 10:32:25 PM 655 Views
Fear is a choice, according to the trailer for Will Smith's new movie - 11/03/2013 03:36:29 AM 601 Views
I'll try to help. - 11/03/2013 01:34:55 PM 664 Views
Re: I'll try to help. - 11/03/2013 07:18:45 PM 715 Views
No, it doesn't make sense to me. - 13/03/2013 03:53:10 PM 617 Views
Re: No, it doesn't make sense to me. - 13/03/2013 10:43:59 PM 662 Views
Ah, much better. - 14/03/2013 03:33:50 PM 605 Views
Re: I'll try to help. - 14/03/2013 09:50:26 PM 592 Views
I mostly agree. - 15/03/2013 05:11:19 PM 608 Views
There's a chicken or egg aspect to this, what is fascinating about her? - 13/03/2013 09:10:13 PM 697 Views
Re: There's a chicken or egg aspect to this, what is fascinating about her? - 13/03/2013 10:34:03 PM 712 Views
Well that's not all that abnormal at all - 14/03/2013 02:32:14 AM 699 Views
I... have no idea how to come on to women. - 15/03/2013 01:54:29 AM 853 Views
The chances she'd be interested in you back in a sexual sense are only 1-5% - 15/03/2013 02:49:13 AM 658 Views
just get her talking about herself. chicks dig that *NM* - 15/03/2013 05:07:54 PM 347 Views

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