I will answer your questions but first some background for I have an atypical complicated situation.
My dad is probably an undiagnosed Autistic / high functioning Aspergers. He can understand his point of view very well but his theory of mind is crap. Thus he is useless for consoling his kid when they physically get hurt, they mentally get hurt, when they come to him for help he sends them away for he just does not get it. Effectively imagine just a provider but not a father in the other sense of the word. Well this really fucked me up for as a child, and my relationships with other people, since your worldview of how social functioning works is based off your first childhood experiences as a toddler. I could not get how my father says he loves me but he is not able to show up in any means besides providing.
Put another way imagine Tony Soprano, but without the mafia stuff, and with narcissism but with less purposeful narcissism. Imagine Tony Soprano that is more clueless about other people's points of view. He can get his own point of view extremely well and can give enoumorus insights that most people with a similar point of view that they can't get but understanding others and social back and forth even with his wife and his 4 kids he is clueless and he is also extremely edgy when people ask for something he does not understand and he blows up with them.
(note if you are aware of the Sopranos I am a mixture of Meadow and AJ, I act like Meadow when I understand what I need to do but I do not do the BS meadow dows for attention, but when I do not know what to do, or when I need attention being consoled etc I act more like AJ soprano. Part of me hates this but I am at 30 am much better than my teenage and young adult self.)
So to answer your question about my father we live in the same town houston since the age of me being 20 (More on this later). My parents divorced in a 2 year divorce from ages 10 to 12 and during 10 to 18 I lived with my mom, and from 18 to 20 I lived by myself.
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My mother is a very loving person but she has her own baggage due to her family messed up situation. She was one of 6 kids, the 4th one. They though my grandma, aka my mother's mama was infertile, so she adopted 3 high risk kids at the age of 3, 2, and 1 (all siblings). Even though she adopted them so early they suffered from extreme neglect and it modified them as children and adults. In other words my mother was the lost child that was sucked up by her family and like me she did not get the attention or the parental instruction that she need as a young child.
Because of this her parenting style if very hit and miss. Sometimes it is awesome but sometimes he just does not get it and thus she gets emotional and very bossy / commanding even if that is not helpful. She is also very culturally conservative / traditionalist / religious for the insight that religion brought her helped her thrived personally.
Well at the age of 18 to 20 I went to college and was very depressed and at 20 I almost committed suicide. It had to be with me being gay but also unsure of my future with lots of depression and anxiety. Well at 20 I came out to my mother and she kicked me out of the house during the summer and I moved in with my father a little more than 700 miles away. My mom rationalized that I was just being difficult and I was trying to take attention from my younger siblings for her older brothers and sister did this stuff for attention and she felt left out.
Eventually we reconciled, but I only see her once or twice a year and only call her once every month or two months. We actually have a closer relationship than me and my father, that said part of me just can't feel trusting and opening around her anymore due to the bullshit that occurred in the past such as her kicking me out of the house with nowhere to go, and me hoping my dad would take me in for I had no income (but savings I could not access due to 21, such as the college savings my parents did for me).
So to answer your question my family situation is more complicated than most people.
