Active Users:146 Time:20/08/2017 12:34:19 PM
Everything dies. And everyone. UPDATE damookster Send a noteboard - 05/02/2017 06:36:03 PM

A little over 5 years ago, in the fall of 2011, I made the decision to abruptly leave the RAFO/Wotmania community without posting the typical egocentric “goodbye” post. A few of you knew why. For those who didn’t, and are slightly curious if you care at all, my addiction to the website became so all-encompassing that my wife gave me an ultimatum – RAFO or her. Obviously I made my choice.

So why am I posting now? Because Laurel Ellen LaRock Piacenza, my wife of 43 years, soulmate, love of my life, and best friend, is near death. She has a disease called myelodysplastic syndrome with multilineage dysplasia. It’s a rare form of bone marrow cancer and is untreatable. She was diagnosed in September of 2016. Currently she is receiving home hospice care with a life expectancy measured in weeks.

I have kept my promise to never participate in RAFO again – until now. Am I breaking faith? I suppose. I hope if there is any form of awareness after death that she will forgive me. I had sworn to myself I would wait until she was truly gone, but the imminent demise of this site and what’s left of the community drove me to this compromise with myself. Yet even as I click Submit, I am torn with self-recrimination and doubts. Yet one more opportunity for an old man to reflect on his life choices with uncertainty and regret.

Because in the end, does any of it matter? I discovered the Wotmania website in the spring of 1998 and lurked on it for nearly a year before making my first post. From 1999 until I left for good at the end of 2011, Wotmania and then RAFO were integral parts of my daily life. But over 5 years have passed and who is left from those early days? As I post this today in 2017, does anyone still here remember me at all? Is it my most narcissistic move yet to presume posting this will matter enough to anyone to justify even a little compromising my word?

I don’t expect answers to these questions. I have none. Not even to the most important question of all: what will I do when she is gone? To that, like all else of true importance, I have no clue. I just know that if “love is watching someone die,” it’s the most painful aspect of love one can imagine.

Mook

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"Mookie often gives us multiples."

Sareitha Sedai 07/18/2017
This message last edited by damookster on 11/02/2017 at 09:48:17 PM
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Everything dies. And everyone. UPDATE - 05/02/2017 06:36:03 PM 566 Views
I remember you - 05/02/2017 07:12:44 PM 67 Views
Thank you *NM* - 05/02/2017 07:51:13 PM 29 Views
I remember you, loved your posts! - 05/02/2017 07:40:38 PM 61 Views
two grown children, one granddaughter - 05/02/2017 07:53:09 PM 61 Views
That's good, I can't fathom losing a soul mate..... - 05/02/2017 08:13:20 PM 48 Views
yes, I did. *NM* - 05/02/2017 08:27:09 PM 30 Views
Curious - what brought you to Wotmania? - 05/02/2017 09:12:40 PM 36 Views
long story and probably not the right thread for an answer *NM* - 06/02/2017 03:14:51 PM 27 Views
Of course we remember you. I'm so sorry to hear that. - 05/02/2017 08:33:55 PM 61 Views
Thank you, Paul - 05/02/2017 08:45:19 PM 32 Views
We remember... - 06/02/2017 02:10:35 PM 39 Views
Thanks Matt *NM* - 06/02/2017 03:08:31 PM 30 Views
Oh, mook. - 06/02/2017 02:18:10 PM 43 Views
I hope so - 06/02/2017 03:10:21 PM 28 Views
I can't even imagine. - 06/02/2017 03:59:28 PM 50 Views
I remember and I cherish - 06/02/2017 02:34:48 PM 54 Views
story of my life - 06/02/2017 03:11:34 PM 37 Views
I remember you and love you and trust that you are making the right choice. - 06/02/2017 09:14:36 PM 63 Views
yes I can and it's why I chose to post - 06/02/2017 10:35:13 PM 57 Views
<3 - 06/02/2017 10:46:50 PM 48 Views
Dani/Fan of Rolan/etc and I were talking earlier - 06/02/2017 11:17:54 PM 46 Views
that was back in Wotmania days - 06/02/2017 11:55:15 PM 46 Views
I approve, now that I know it was the cubs. - 07/02/2017 11:43:39 AM 43 Views
Hi mook, long time no see - 06/02/2017 10:07:31 PM 45 Views
Re: Hi mook, long time no see - 06/02/2017 10:36:26 PM 56 Views
Re: Hi mook, long time no see - 06/02/2017 10:43:04 PM 36 Views
Of course we remember. - 07/02/2017 04:44:58 AM 77 Views
Thanks, Tom - 07/02/2017 05:34:35 PM 49 Views
Hi, Mook. - 07/02/2017 05:22:00 PM 73 Views
Hi Jacob - 07/02/2017 05:38:25 PM 35 Views
I do indeed. - 07/02/2017 05:43:16 PM 71 Views
Hello. - 07/02/2017 06:46:58 PM 59 Views
thanks Jon - 08/02/2017 12:43:42 AM 43 Views
So sorry. - 07/02/2017 10:52:13 PM 67 Views
I appreciate that - 08/02/2017 12:45:37 AM 38 Views
Yes - 08/02/2017 11:26:35 PM 48 Views
IDK, I'm thinking of starting a facebook page thing - 10/02/2017 11:55:34 PM 44 Views
To Cannoli..... - 08/02/2017 02:17:45 AM 57 Views
You made the correct choice, both times. *NM* - 08/02/2017 04:06:05 AM 22 Views
Hi Mook - 08/02/2017 04:29:49 AM 50 Views
Re: Hi Mook - 08/02/2017 03:45:25 PM 46 Views
Very sorry, mook. - 08/02/2017 07:48:18 AM 27 Views
Oh, mookie. - 08/02/2017 07:35:10 PM 64 Views
UPDATE - 11/02/2017 09:57:57 PM 59 Views
Awwwwwww. - 13/02/2017 03:26:51 PM 35 Views
- 16/02/2017 01:51:44 PM 40 Views
Awesome! And it sucks she can't be at home. *NM* - 07/03/2017 09:22:43 PM 22 Views
So sorry to hear this, Mike *NM* - 12/02/2017 04:24:05 AM 26 Views
thank you, Dylanfanatic - 12/02/2017 05:17:18 PM 35 Views
Even those of us that don't visit that often (if at all) remember. - 16/02/2017 02:53:09 PM 41 Views
Oh, mook <3 - 18/02/2017 02:52:06 PM 37 Views
I am so sorry Mook. - 23/02/2017 06:00:05 PM 36 Views
I'm so sorry to hear this - 23/02/2017 11:53:08 PM 50 Views
Of course I remeber you! You helped make Wotmaina what is was for me. - 07/03/2017 09:18:36 PM 18 Views

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