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I see. Sareitha Sedai Send a noteboard - 25/03/2010 04:05:04 PM

As in, I've told her I would and it would be mean and petty to go back on my word.

She does need it where she is and she has no other way of getting it. Making her wait until she can afford it just seems mean and petty, particularly as that could be quite awhile.

If she asks me for money to help cover her rent though the answer is going to be a flat out 'no'.

I mean, I wouldn't describe it as mean and petty so much as adapting to changing circumstances/information. Mean and petty would be telling her you won't buy it because you don't want to make her feel like a burden on your finances

That's fair though, and I understand and admire where you are coming from. I totally agree with your stance on the rent and those types of expenses. It was her decision to make her (and your) situation more complicated and expensive, and she has to live with and step up to the consequences of that. She doesn't get the benefits of being married to you without living up to the responsibilities and obligations that go along with that.

If you are from Betelgeuse, please have one of your Earth friends read what I've written before you respond. Or try concentrating harder.

"The trophy problem has become extreme."

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Taking the high road isn't easy... SilverWarder - 25/03/2010 03:27:47 PM 879 Views

I think the counseling will help, assuming it's with somebody good Sareitha Sedai - 25/03/2010 03:44:47 PM 483 Views

I'm pretty much committed at this point SilverWarder - 25/03/2010 03:50:26 PM 452 Views

I see. Sareitha Sedai - 25/03/2010 04:05:04 PM 462 Views

actually..... moondog - 26/03/2010 05:56:09 AM 445 Views

They live in Canuckistan

Macharius - 26/03/2010 12:59:59 PM 403 Views

Matters not, but thank you SilverWarder - 26/03/2010 01:48:06 PM 425 Views

Counselling might help

LadyLorraine - 25/03/2010 03:54:29 PM 419 Views

I hope so too SilverWarder - 25/03/2010 07:03:43 PM 418 Views

Showing your anger isn't necessarily bad if you can do it without really losing your temper... Legolas - 25/03/2010 04:24:03 PM 448 Views

Kind of like a bookshelf SilverWarder - 25/03/2010 07:01:03 PM 515 Views

I hate the high road. Macharius - 25/03/2010 05:30:19 PM 536 Views

Well, actually she's still running her D&D game SilverWarder - 25/03/2010 07:05:23 PM 446 Views

Wow... Jacob - 25/03/2010 07:25:53 PM 448 Views

Re: Well, actually she's still running her D&D game Macharius - 25/03/2010 07:26:47 PM 438 Views

Apparently I don't play any of the 'power builds' from it SilverWarder - 25/03/2010 07:59:59 PM 566 Views

Venting is good Camilla - 25/03/2010 05:40:50 PM 441 Views

Well, I'm doing my best SilverWarder - 25/03/2010 07:07:28 PM 410 Views

The high road sucks but you get less shit on your shoes random thoughts - 25/03/2010 05:46:33 PM 438 Views

Thank you. It's really not a lot of fun - SilverWarder - 25/03/2010 07:09:40 PM 412 Views

The best thing you can do is to speak to her when your anger isn't flaring, but be honest. LaSombra - 25/03/2010 07:08:48 PM 418 Views

The high road certainly isn't easy. Jacob - 25/03/2010 07:42:47 PM 495 Views

You know...we're not close & we frequently do not get along.... Jeordam - 25/03/2010 07:57:01 PM 546 Views

This. *NM* Avendesora - 25/03/2010 08:00:40 PM 164 Views

Sounds like good advice (says the guy without kids

) *NM* Floffe - 25/03/2010 08:48:27 PM 165 Views

Thanks Jeo SilverWarder - 25/03/2010 08:58:37 PM 425 Views

/me hugs I love Rafolites. *NM* StarrBecca - 25/03/2010 11:11:39 PM 174 Views

*hugses* Beqi - 25/03/2010 08:56:36 PM 411 Views

I'm sure I don't have to tell you this nossy - 25/03/2010 09:18:31 PM 401 Views

Make sure you keep records of the money you give her and the clothes you buy. Tim - 25/03/2010 09:34:49 PM 426 Views

Lord I hope it doesn't come to that. SilverWarder - 25/03/2010 11:58:35 PM 442 Views

I told you. Medication. rebelaessedai - 25/03/2010 10:04:11 PM 434 Views

I have to Agree, I think your wife needs psyche help, and medical help. StarrBecca - 25/03/2010 11:13:48 PM 424 Views

let's assume, for the sake of discussion... damookster - 26/03/2010 03:59:25 AM 524 Views

ugh...stupid double post *NM* damookster - 26/03/2010 03:59:45 AM 175 Views

Can I offer a suggestion for dealign with the anger? callandor1000 - 26/03/2010 04:45:37 AM 432 Views

Have you considered Domestic Violence? *NM* Dark Cannoli'gar - 26/03/2010 06:02:43 AM 197 Views

Naturally not. SilverWarder - 26/03/2010 01:50:27 PM 427 Views

i can't really add anything that hasn't been said before moondog - 26/03/2010 06:10:47 AM 419 Views

:/ *hugs* *NM* globug0822 - 30/03/2010 02:11:24 PM 177 Views

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<quote id="92079">
<quote id="92073">
As in, I've told her I would and it would be mean and petty to go back on my word.

She does need it where she is and she has no other way of getting it. Making her wait until she can afford it just seems mean and petty, particularly as that could be quite awhile.

If she asks me for money to help cover her rent though the answer is going to be a flat out 'no'.
</quote>

I mean, I wouldn't describe it as mean and petty so much as adapting to changing circumstances/information.  Mean and petty would be telling her you won't buy it because you don't want to make her feel like a burden on your finances :P

That's fair though, and I understand and admire where you are coming from.  I totally agree with your stance on the rent and those types of expenses.  It was her decision to make her (and your) situation more complicated and expensive, and she has to live with and step up to the consequences of that.  She doesn't get the benefits of being married to you without living up to the responsibilities and obligations that go along with that.
</quote>

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