Journal: Entry for Dragonsoul
It's been eight years.
Author: Dragonsoul Send a noteboard
Posted: 21/06/2010 03:22:09 AM
Views: 3089
So today has been a bit of a roller coaster for me. Today, I was made Godfather of my youngest cousin, Giuseppe. It was a great honour to be given the trust to guide him through our faith, and I only hope that I don't fail him as often as I fail myself.
And as wonderful as it was to see the birth of a new Christian, it was also eight years to the day that I lost my Nonna. When I was little, my mother was often sick. When she wasn't sick, she was working. May father, being the deadbeat that he was, wasn't around often. I was usually left in the care of my Nonna and Nonno, and in many respects they raised me as their own son. So when my Nonna died, it was as if I had lost my mother. It has left a hole inside me, one that I find it difficult to close, or even come to grips with. Eight years later I still mourn her as much as the day she passed.
Today is especially difficult, seeing as it was the anniversary. I remember when she passed, I was holding her left hand and my Nonno her right. I remember her last breath, and the fell of her pulse slowly fading away. There was no great calm, or great light, and experiencing that moment shook my faith for nearly two years. I went through a long period of denial. In fact, it was only through blaming God for her death that I realized I was inadvertently acknowledging His existence, and His power over all things. But realizing that she's in Heaven now hasn't really brought me the peace that it should. I suppose in many ways that's because I still know I'll never see her again. There was so much left unsaid, and undone.
So, I guess I'll just ask that, if there's anyone here who prays, just say a quick prayer for her. I know she'd appreciate it, and I certainly would. I'll tell you know I don't know anyone more deserving.
What an emotional day. I'm glad I could hop online and vent a bit.
Nonna, ti voglio bene. Sei dentro il mio cuore, sempre. Non ti scorderò mai. Riposa in pace.
Tuo nini,
Giuseppe
And as wonderful as it was to see the birth of a new Christian, it was also eight years to the day that I lost my Nonna. When I was little, my mother was often sick. When she wasn't sick, she was working. May father, being the deadbeat that he was, wasn't around often. I was usually left in the care of my Nonna and Nonno, and in many respects they raised me as their own son. So when my Nonna died, it was as if I had lost my mother. It has left a hole inside me, one that I find it difficult to close, or even come to grips with. Eight years later I still mourn her as much as the day she passed.
Today is especially difficult, seeing as it was the anniversary. I remember when she passed, I was holding her left hand and my Nonno her right. I remember her last breath, and the fell of her pulse slowly fading away. There was no great calm, or great light, and experiencing that moment shook my faith for nearly two years. I went through a long period of denial. In fact, it was only through blaming God for her death that I realized I was inadvertently acknowledging His existence, and His power over all things. But realizing that she's in Heaven now hasn't really brought me the peace that it should. I suppose in many ways that's because I still know I'll never see her again. There was so much left unsaid, and undone.
So, I guess I'll just ask that, if there's anyone here who prays, just say a quick prayer for her. I know she'd appreciate it, and I certainly would. I'll tell you know I don't know anyone more deserving.
What an emotional day. I'm glad I could hop online and vent a bit.
Nonna, ti voglio bene. Sei dentro il mio cuore, sempre. Non ti scorderò mai. Riposa in pace.
Tuo nini,
Giuseppe
Done and done 
And if you think she's in heaven, why do you think you'll never see her again? Think positive 
Sorry about your loss. No matter how much time passes, losing a close relative is always painful.
Sorry about your loss. No matter how much time passes, losing a close relative is always painful.
Thank you very much
Heaven is a special place that I don't think just everyone gets in to. She was a truly exceptional woman, and deserves her spot there. Me? Not so much 
Yeah, it never seems to get much easier, only more...fuzzy? (if that makes sense) Like the feeling of loss is still the same, but the memories aren't quite as sharp.
Thank you very much for your prayers and comment, it means a great deal to me.
Yeah, it never seems to get much easier, only more...fuzzy? (if that makes sense) Like the feeling of loss is still the same, but the memories aren't quite as sharp.
Thank you very much for your prayers and comment, it means a great deal to me.
Blessed be.
So today has been a bit of a roller coaster for me. Today, I was made Godfather of my youngest cousin, Giuseppe. It was a great honour to be given the trust to guide him through our faith, and I only hope that I don't fail him as often as I fail myself.
you'll see your Nonna again someday. And you gave her the greatest gift, the honor and respect she deserved. well Played. And congrats on becoming a g-dfather.
And as wonderful as it was to see the birth of a new Christian, it was also eight years to the day that I lost my Nonna. When I was little, my mother was often sick. When she wasn't sick, she was working. May father, being the deadbeat that he was, wasn't around often. I was usually left in the care of my Nonna and Nonno, and in many respects they raised me as their own son. So when my Nonna died, it was as if I had lost my mother. It has left a hole inside me, one that I find it difficult to close, or even come to grips with. Eight years later I still mourn her as much as the day she passed.
Today is especially difficult, seeing as it was the anniversary. I remember when she passed, I was holding her left hand and my Nonno her right. I remember her last breath, and the fell of her pulse slowly fading away. There was no great calm, or great light, and experiencing that moment shook my faith for nearly two years. I went through a long period of denial. In fact, it was only through blaming God for her death that I realized I was inadvertently acknowledging His existence, and His power over all things. But realizing that she's in Heaven now hasn't really brought me the peace that it should. I suppose in many ways that's because I still know I'll never see her again. There was so much left unsaid, and undone.
So, I guess I'll just ask that, if there's anyone here who prays, just say a quick prayer for her. I know she'd appreciate it, and I certainly would. I'll tell you know I don't know anyone more deserving.
What an emotional day. I'm glad I could hop online and vent a bit.
Nonna, ti voglio bene. Sei dentro il mio cuore, sempre. Non ti scorderò mai. Riposa in pace.
Tuo nini,
Giuseppe
I will for you Nonna but mainly for you.
And I do believe you will see her again. I am sorry that it has been so hard for you.
Also, congratulations on becoming a Godfather.
Tash
Also, congratulations on becoming a Godfather.
Tash
What BG and Tash said.
Ya'll will be in my prayers, but remember: Christianity is predicated on the principle that, by Grace, we can receive better than we "deserve. " I know what I deserve and literally thank God He offers, earned, much more for me. Savor the good times that are yours forever, and rejoice that she has eternal happiness and is beyond suffering with our Lord. One day all His children will be reunited, always.
It seems to me the gravity with which you accept your role as Godfather is well suited to it, and that you were asked speaks well of you also, so, indeed, congratulations and blessings on that. Never forget that we don't have to be perfect, we just have to try, with faith in Christs power to redeem our failures when we repent in Him.
It seems to me the gravity with which you accept your role as Godfather is well suited to it, and that you were asked speaks well of you also, so, indeed, congratulations and blessings on that. Never forget that we don't have to be perfect, we just have to try, with faith in Christs power to redeem our failures when we repent in Him.