“Awful way to die, looks like the poor bastard was beaten to death with a sack full of stones.” Says Commander Vimes of the City Watch, lighting a cigar.

You nod your head with the others. C.J. Bailey, respected seller of Teeth Brushes, has had his head crushed in.

“Oh, Blackboard Monitor Vimes, not stones, I could tell.” Says one dwarf nearby.

“It was HIM!” Says one bystander, “The Phantom Dentist, came to get his revenge upon Bailey. The dwarf speaks truly, it was not a bag of stones nor a sock full of rocks that slew Bailey but a vengeful spirit with his bag of teeth.”

Some of the crowd rolls their eyes, but most lean forward, interested in what the crazy man has to say, even if just so they can mock him or egg him on. Morporkians value impromptu street theatre.

“Phantom Dentist!” Vimes barks, “Not that old nursery nonsense”

“Nay! Tis True, gather round citizens of Fair Ankh-Morpork and I will tell thee the tale of the Phantom Dentist! Mad he was, so skilled even Trolls came to him to have their teeth removed, and all men know Troll Teeth are made of diamonds! Yet never did he sell them. Legend says he began as a humble blacksmith, but could remove a sore tooth so fast soon all his patrons came to have their teeth yanked instead of their plows mended. Yea, verily, did he collect a hoard of teeth so numerous his whole house could not store them and so he bought three. One for his normal business and another for Trolls only, reinforced with iron because trolls often break things when they stumbling backed from his Troll Teeth Removal Device, which some say was powered by imps and the souls of orphaned children, and other say was a crane… it’s hard to remove Troll Teeth don’t you know? None can say for sure, but soon his hoard of teeth was so large it attracted the attention of the Tooth Fairy, who envied his tooth pile and sought to steal it. Some say that drove him mad…”

“I thought you said he was already mad!” One of the audience yelled.

“Madder! It drove him madder and he sought to gain means to the Tooth Fairy’s secret castle to reclaim his stolen Teeth, and he went about enchanting a sack of teeth to gain him access to the Tooth Fairy’s Enamel Castle… but he was no wizard and his efforts were doomed to failure. He was stuck between worlds! And was driven mad by… er madder! Er… maddest! He was driven maddest by his existence between worlds as a Phantom, and now he stalks our fair city, taking his revenge on any who steal teeth. Now C.J. Bailey has become his newest victim, for his Teeth Brushes kept many a tooth in a many a mouth. But somewhere out there his hoard remains, full of diamond Trolls’ teeth and enchanted teeth.”

“Where?” One man asks.

“Who can say? Some say he had a house next to the Temple of Small Gods, others near Pseudopolis Yard, yet others near the Guild of Fools. Who can say which of these three is true?”

“I thought you said he had three houses!” One lady says.

There is a pause in the crowd where one can literally hear people trying to figure out how much a house full of diamond Troll’s Teeth might be worth. First one, then two, then more began slipping away and before long there is a full blown stampede toward the nearest of those three places, the Guild of Fools.

“Bunch of bloody idiots.” Says Commander Vimes. “Homicidal tooth-sack wielding phantoms! Pull the other one.”

Players now have 5 options:

Option 1: Wander off (0 Morale)
Option 2: Remain at the crime scene (0 Morale)
Option 3: Go tooth-hunting at the Guild of Fools (2 Morale)
Option 4: Go tooth-hunting at the Temple of Small Gods (2 Morale)
Option 5: Go tooth-hunting at the Pseudopolis Yard (2 Morale)

Unless you say otherwise, by Sunday, 11 pm EST, you are assumed to have chosen Option 1, though please NB the Mod saying “Option 1”. If you choose option 2 submit a NB to the Mod saying “Option 2” along with your RPS choice (Rock paper or scissors) for the Event.

For Options 3-5, send in an NB with your option choice, your RPS choice, and the attribute - Wit, Combat, or Stealth (not Magic) which you wish to employ for your Tooth Hunt. This also cost 2 Morale Points. You must have submitted your chosen RPS for Defense to participate in Option 2, 3 ,4 or 5, or submit it prior to or simultaneous to sending in your choice for this event.

Special Bonus: If you know where C.J. Bailey's shop really was, NB the location for a special morale bonus.

Events do not interrupt game play, though of course you may discuss them. Good Luck!