Did you ever consider that the Forsaken had a really good PR rep, and that their atrocities actually sucked during the War of Power… ?

Sammael is credited at having killed half of a group of prisoners when he heard that there was only enough for half of them.

Evil General : Great Master, we have a thousand prisoners and only food for five hundred.

Sammael : So?

Evil General : So what should we do, Great Master?

Sammael : We should…

Evil General : Great Master, we’ve added two hundred more prisoners, but three hundred and eighty escaped while we were doing it, and seventy three have been found dead of starvation.

Sammael : What! Kill two hundred to prevent this from happening again.

Evil General : Another hundred have escaped, Great Master. They ate through the lock. But we captured six hundred from another raid.

Sammael : Mrr, okay don’t execute the two hundred.

Evil General : We already did.

Sammael : Wait. Stop everything! Where do we stand right now?

Evil General : Half the prisoners are dead.

Sammael : Okay. Now let’s breathe. No, don’t say anything. Let’s just wait before you read that next report.

Evil General : Yes, Great Master.

Rahvin was credited at having turned whole regions to the Shadow without actually invading them…

Evil General : Great Master, Sedorin has converted to the Shadow.

Rahvin : What! We were meant to invade them tomorrow!

Evil General : Yes, Great Master.

Rahvin : Do you know who led the turning?

Evil General : No, Great Master.

Rahvin : Do you know if a military invasion will have any use?

Evil General : No, Great Master.

Rahvin : Do you know how many darkfriends there are in Sedorin at this moment?

Evil General : No, Great Master.

Rahvin : Do you know anything?

Evil General : Uh… well, Great Master. Our tanks are lined across the border. We could make it look like our victory.

Rahvin : Don’t be ridiculous, those tanks haven’t fired a single shot. They’re in pristine condition and shining clean.

Evil General : If we destroy them, it will look like there was a great battle.

Rahvin : Good point. Destroy them all. Kill everyone.

Evil General : Yes, Great Master.

Be’lal was credited at having razed the Hall of the Servants only days before the Strike at Shayol Ghul.

Evil General : Great Master, the city is ours but the Hall of Servants is just a pile of rubble.

Be’lal : What! No! I came here specially to destroy it.

Evil General : It seems like Lews Therin and the Hundred Companions are gone and they destroyed the Hall.

Be’lal : but why?

Evil General : To prevent someone else from destroying it, Great Master.

Be’lal : Damn it to hell. Destroy it again.

Evil General : Great Master?

Be’lal : You heard me, slave. Destroy it again. Leave no stone unturned. Again. Or build it again, and then destroy it. Either way, I want to see complex undertakings in that area of the city and don’t come back until there have been explosions and sounds of crumbling earth.

Evil General : Yes, Great Master.

Be’lal : At last, revenge is mine.

Demandred was credited at having two cities which scorned him before the War of Power, fed alive to the Trollocs…

Demandred : Are the two cities prepared for my arrival?

Evil General : Yes Great Master – everyone is dead.

Demandred : What do you mean, dead! I said, prepare the city.

Evil General : We did, Great Master. “Prepare” means eradicate in the Shadow – well, it always did when I served the Great Mistress Semirhage.

Demandred : Damn it, man, I meant it in the classical sense of the word. Red carpet. Fanfare. Flags.

Evil General : Oh, Great Master, I ask for your mercy. I carpet bombed both cities when you gave the order.

Demandred : Where are the Trollocs?

Evil General : Preparing to sleep, Great Master.

Demandred : Exactly… preparing. Does that mean, eradicating?

Evil General : No, Great Master.

Demandred : Then why did you do it for me?

Evil General : Well usually it’s up to our discretion, and we usually kill and then debate the meaning afterwards.

Demandred : Like we are doing now?

Evil General : Yes, Great Master.

Demandred : Huh. Prepare my bed chamber.

Evil General : Prepare, Great Master?

Demandred : Just fluff my pillows, you idiot.

Evil General : Yes, Great Master.

Asmodean was credited for maiming artists and then setting them free so that they could never practice their art again…

Asmodean : Take his violin.

Evil General : Yes, Great Master.

Artist : No!!!!!

Asmodean : Mwahahahaha!!!

Lanfear was credited at inciting riots through Tel’aranrhiod through her terror…

Lanfear : You… riot.

Good man : No.

Lanfear : Yes.

Good man : No.

Lanfear : Riot, or die.

Good man : I’ll die then.

Lanfear : But I want you to riot. Please. Or I’ll cry.

Good man : Oh for crying out loud. Fine. Just please leave me alone. I’ve got a busy day tomorrow.

Lanfear : Thanks.

Semirhage kept a man alive for five years and tortured him for that whole time until his body finally gave out…

Evil Worker : Great Mistress, we have found Bornman.

Semirhage : What? He escaped five years ago.

Evil Worker : Actually he didn’t, Great Mistress. We found him dead in the ceiling. He tried to escaped but was caught in the plumbing. He’s dead, and smells bad.

Semirhage : Does anyone else outside my ‘clinic’ know about him?

Evil Worker : They think that he remains your most persistent and guarded prisoner, Great Mistress.

Semirhage : Can we get this fiasco to work in our favour?

Evil Worker : I’ll think of something, Great Mistress.

Moghedien escaped from Lews Therin’s council by causing a transport disaster that killed thousands of people, thus allowing her to escape…

Evil General : Don’t worry, we have you Great Mistress.

Moghedien : I heard a huge explosion. Was that you?

Evil General : Hell no, Great Mistress. The mega subway derailed by accident. There was a dog on the tracks.

Moghedien : Oh. Well it was good timing.

Evil General : Very good. Maybe we can make it seem like we caused it.

Moghedien : But why?

Evil General : To make you seem more horrific, Great Mistress.

Moghedien : Are you saying that I’m not horrific?

Evil General : Oh you’re very horrific, Great Mistress. We just want to up it a notch. The Forsaken must have more horror, terror… meanness than anyone else.

Moghedien : Do it then. And write on my blog that I condone the deaths, and laugh at their suffering.

Evil General : Yes, Great Mistress. A fine idea.

Moghedien : It is why I am Chosen, and you are not.