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Kudos *NM* Ryan Send a noteboard - 19/07/2011 08:01:51 AM
WoT has no movies. It is highly unlikely to get a TV show. But what if they took a classic movie and remade it for WoT? Behold:

Ext: BALCONY outside the WHITE TOWER, overlooking TAR VALON. Egwene stands on it, contemplating the satisfactory state of affairs. In a short time rulers from all over the world will be bringing their entire armies to a meeting, for absolutely no other reason but her will, she presides over a reunited Tower with a number of advantages and advances in the abilities of the Aes Sedai over and beyond those known in any of her predecessors’ times, and she has a Warder-bonded fiancé who is rich, good-looking and devoted to her beyond reason. Life is good, and her crucial role in the scheme of the world seems certain, hence the good reasons for her self-satisfaction. Suddenly she sees a figure fall the heavens towards the river, whom she plucks out with the Power and hauls up to balcony, arbitrarily deciding to extend her generosity to one of the mere mortals under her rule.

Egwene: What were you trying to kill yourself for?
Clarennoli: I wasn’t. I jumped in to get your attention. I’m here to fix your outlook, Egwene. To do that, I’m going to show you what the world would be like if you had never left the Two Rivers.

Ext: The road to Taren Ferry, early spring, 998 NE. Egwene & Clarennoli watch unobserved as six riders pass by, hurrying to the ferry.

Egwene: I don’t understand why I had to see this.
Clarennoli: Don’t you? Observe that Rand has no need to cleanse the fatigue from Bella, because she is not there with a girl on her back to concern him with her peril. Let’s jump ahead to see the consequences.

The scene shifts to a muddy street in Baerlon. Mat & Rand walk past several Children of the Light.

Dain Bornhald:What are you rubes staring at?
Rand: We’re away from home for the first time and we’ve never seen men like you before.
Dain: We are the Children of the Light. We guard mankind against the evils of the Shadow and the Tar Valon witches.
Rand: Oh. That’s very sensible. The Shadow is really bad. Is that a major problem here in the big cities?
Mat: We don’t like Aes Sedai either. One came through our hometown and the next day a couple of houses burned down.
Dain: I must say, you may be simple ignorant country folk, but you show very good sense. The other Children might claim I am soft and too easy on people, but I just like hanging with normal folks, and it is good to meet people who are not hostile and suspicious for once. Walk in the Light!
Rand: Okay Mat, let’s get out of here. I’m glad I talked you out of whatever prank you were about to play on those guys. We don’t need any bad attention with the Dark One looking for us!
Egwene: What was the point of that? How did I affect that conversation?
Clarennoli: Because you were not along, Rand had no need to channel that first night on the road. Since Rand had not yet channeled, he was not affected by the sickness from an unguided first encounter with the True Source. He was not feeling giddy and reckless, and behaved in his normal, sensible, friendly-to-strangers fashion, rather than going along with Mat and then back-talking young Dain, there. As a result, the Children of the Light will have no reason to harass the group at the gates either, and Bornhald will not be terrorized by Moiraine’s intimidation tactics. These things have a cascading effect as well.

They move on to Baerlon in the middle of the night as flames consume an inn. Nynaeve stands outside talking to a couple of the employees.

Nynaeve: So you say the people I described WERE here, but are not hanging around with the other guests right now?
Baerlonian: That’s right.
Nynaeve: Wow, this is bad. People are really out to get them! This could have been the Winespring Inn, if they had not left home. I think I should reconsider my skepticism about those letters the boys wrote, since they are all sensible types. Well, two of them are. Since more than half of the young people with the Aes Sedai are NOT the kind who dream about leaving for adventures, perhaps this was not a whim or lark that took them away with the Aes Sedai. And since the Trollocs attacked all their homes, and the did not take along any young people I know to have recently discussed leaving home, or who were from un-attacked homes, my intuition suggests that there IS something to this notion that the Aes Sedai only took them to protect them and the village. I shall have to resume tracking them.
Egwene: Let me guess? My fault again?
Clarennoli: Yes. Since you were not in the inn, Nynaeve did not find them in time. As you heard from her soliloquy, since there was no barging into a confrontation on her part, and no one in their group to give the lie to Moiraine's tale about being sought specifically by the Dark One, she has not had the opportunity to find new grievances against Moiraine, and her older grudge for being called child is fading in light of the dangers she is observing stalk her would-be charges. On we go.

A riverbank near Shadar Logoth. Perrin climbs out of the river all alone. He continues on his way for a bit, concerned about his lack of food or other supplies, but shortly afterwards, he is greeted by a man and some wolves.

Elyas: Sit down at my fire and take a load off, boy. Since you were all alone and the wolves are interested in you, I decided to approach you right off the bat, rather than stalk you until I had a chance to get you by yourself. Why don’t you tell me your story?
Perrin tells Elyas a bare bones account, that while truthful, omits some dangerous details. At some prompting from Elyas and the wolves, he admits to the Trollocs and other, more damning information.
Elyas: Well, that’s something boy. I’m glad you didn’t try to lie to me.
Perrin: Why would I lie? I am generally an honest person, not given to deviousness or intrigue.
Elyas: That seems true. Since there is no one else around, or anyone to remind you of your old life, or make you feel stupid, why don’t you learn to talk to wolves?
Perrin: Okay.
Elyas: And since there are no other humans, with their big stupid horses making it harder for us to creep about stealthily, this journey should be pretty easy.

They stop for a while with a caravan of Tinkers. Perrin is introduced to Raen & Illa and their grandson.

Aram: Dude. ‘Sup?
Perrin: Hey. You’re kind of cool, for a hippy peace-freak.
Aram: Yeah, you’re not so bad for a violence-stained village-dweller.
Illa: I love to see young men getting along, instead of glaring at one another like a pair of strange roosters in the same barnyard.
Raen: Well, my dear, they are both peaceable, gentle young men who deliberately seek to avoid hurting others. The only reason two such agreeable young fellows would butt heads would be if there was a young woman to inspire them to start a pissing contest. You know how Aram is, and Perrin has been with wolves for a few days, so he’s more attuned to that kind of dominance stuff. As it is, they have enough in common to get along, but not enough to clash over. I think the Wheel has joined their threads together somehow.
Aram: Yo, sorry you gotta go, man. If you ever get sick of the violence, come hang out with us.
Perrin: Yeah, thanks. If you ever get tired of seeing friends and family victimized by those who don’t respect the Way of the Leaf, come to me, and I’ll try to set you up with a weapon.
Aram: Well, whatever the circumstances, if we ever end up working together, I think our amicable acquaintance here has set us off on the right foot to continue a positive, healthy friendship, in a manly kind of way, of course.
Egwene: Okay, okay! I get your point. Can we move along now?
Clarennoli: Sure.

Artur Hawkwing’s statue. Night time. Perrin and Elyas crouch in the shadows as the Children of the Light water their horses and move on. Once the Children are gone, they head closer to the road, where they encounter Moiraine, Lan & Nynaeve, who, without Egwene to worry over, has had some nice, sensible conversations with Moiraine about her own nascent ability with the One Power, having seen how useful it is in tracking her fellow-villagers, and not being frustrated because Moiraine has no way to tell if Egwene is alive or dead. Elyas is glad to see his old buddy Lan, and meet a non-judgmental sister, and continues with Perrin, helping him continue his wolf-education. Perrin no longer worries about his dreams or losing himself in them. Hopper is much less of an enigmatic pain in the ass, as he is alive and reticent, rather than playing around in T’A’R.

Much is the same once reuniting in Caemlyn, though the Rand they encounter is a lot less burdened by guilt for either leaving Egwene or for observing that there are attractive women in the world, allowing him to objectively contemplate being the object of pursuit by every woman in the series whose name both begins and ends with E. They go through the Ways with no relationship blather or jealousy. Everyone is happy. Until they fight Aginor.

Rand: Wow. Aginor is going through Moiraine like crap through a goose. I am glad that Nynaeve is unconscious on the Green Man Tree and I can safely and freely run without worrying about anyone trying to channel at Aginor when they are woefully ill-equipped to do so.
Egwene: There, see! In real life, he turned around to stop me, and attracted Aginor’s attention. This led to his confrontations with Ishamael and Aginor and defeats of both of them. With me…
Clarennoli: Without you, something would have forced him down that path anyway. This is one of the biggest, most Pattern-swirly moments of his life. You didn’t hear the BIG VOICE in Tarwin’s Gap, or witness his magical translocation to the middle of the battlefield to turn the tide – the Pattern had the bit in its teeth and was running full speed ahead with Rand merely hanging on for the ride. Nice try, kid.
Egwene: But afterwards, I was the only one who was completely supportive of him and accepting of his newfound curse of channeling! That should count for something.
Clarennoli: More likely freaked him the hell out, and made him more determined than any other factor to actively drive away those he cared about. Your illustration of how blindly ignorant his friends could be regarding the danger he now presented made him take more extreme measures than he might normally have thought necessary, and led to his being alienated from friends at a critical period in his life.
Egwene: Well, at least I was helpful and nice! How many other people would have reacted that way.
Clarennoli: Offhand, the only person I can think of acting exactly like you was Berelain.
Egwene:WHAT?!?
Clarennoli: Don’t act like this is some sort of transcendent act of generosity on your part! A man who could destroy two Forsaken who were throwing around your idol Moiraine like a rag doll? Say with a straight face your lady-parts weren’t even slightly moistened at the thought of that level of power, and if anyone believes you, I’ve got a bridge in the Aiel Waste I’d like to sell them! And as for people accepting him, Lan did, but he didn’t make a big deal about it, or act all emotional. He just went on acting like normal, rather than hang out with noblewomen most of the time, and then making overblown emotional scenes. But let’s give you the benefit of the doubt and look at Fal Dara without you.
Egwene: Hey, I hid him from the Amyrlin…
Clarennoli: Who didn’t mean him harm anyway. You didn’t change anything there. And don’t go claiming points for good intentions! You had no idea he was the foretold savior of humanity, which means that you were concealing a dangerous potential madman from the only people who could prevent him from destroying Fal Dara and everyone whose name you knew outside the Two Rivers.

Fal Dara, the Amyrlin’s chambers. Mat Cauthon stands nervously before a group of Aes Sedai who have just finished Healing him.

Amyrlin Seat: Well, young man, you might be an irresponsible troublemaker, but at least you had the sense to hold on to that dagger of yours during the Trolloc attack. If it had been taken, there is no way we could have Healed you of this pernicious link to it!
Mat: Ugh! I may not want anything to do with objects of the Power, but I knew I needed to be Healed of it. Why would I go anywhere I could lose it or expose myself to anything or anyone that could take it from me? I’m not one of the crazy, danger-seeking Two Rivers folk who charge into fights, I try to stay out of them, which I did. Safe and sound.
Amyrlin: Well, you owe us one, young man. Would you go along with Lord Ingtar and help him recover the Horn of Valere by lending your ta’veren presence to his quest?
Mat: Nnn…yes! Yes! Light, Mother, I said yes, already! Stop glaring at me!
Amyrlin Good. The alternative was coming to Tar Valon with me. And since you are going now, I’m sure your Two Rivers friends can be persuaded to accompany you.

Egwene: But, without being Healed later, his life would have been different! He would not have come back to Tar Valon with me for one thing.
Clarennoli: He blew the Horn of Freaking Valere. Of course he was going back with Verin! Except he would have been a lot less comatose, that’s all. And without you to pick fights with the Children of the Light, Elayne and Nynaeve would have been in a lot less trouble.
Egwene: Why would they have left Tar Valon? Why would Nynaeve have even gone to Tar Valon, if I was not there for her to try to protect?
Clarennoli: …What is it like in that brain of yours? Do you really think the world revolves around you? She went to Tar Valon because she wanted to learn to use the Power for revenge on Moiraine, who disrupted the lives of the three boys, and held the bond of the man Nynaeve loved! And Elayne and Min didn’t accompany you from the Tower out of friendship, they went because of their feelings for Rand.
Egwene: What feelings? Elayne didn’t love him yet!
Clarennoli: Right, because nothing is real until you know about it? She was all but asking you for dibs on your sloppy seconds from the day you two met! Even if Min’s feelings hadn’t caught up to her viewings at that point, she was still reacting to those viewings. And given Nynaeve’s lack of commonality with ANYONE else in the Tower, can you imagine she would not have eventually made friends with Min, and through her Elayne? Those three, for various background reasons, had very little luck making friends, which incidentally, probably explains how they came to tolerate you. From Min’s freakish ability isolating her in Baerlon and lack of channeling isolating her in Tar Valon, through Elayne’s rank and political necessities preventing her from forming genuine friendships and her ingrained manner alienating casual acquaintances, to Nynaeve’s temper and indifference to the delights of Accepted-hood, none of them could afford to be very choosy about people who were willing to hang out with them. And before you ask, no, you don’t get points for whatever instinct led you to associate with people on whose coat-tails you would one day be able coast in the near-future!
Egwene: Blood and ashes. You know me too well.
Clarennoli: That’s why the crabby glowing stars assigned your case to me.
Egwene: Isn't it possible that I abetted their friendship somehow?
Clarennoli: Min & Elayne were friends before either met you, and since Nynaeve and Elayne were each closer to you than each other initially, your hanging out with them actually probably impeded the development of their own relationship, which became the most effective working partnership in the Tower in living memory! Think of how much more they could have accomplished right from the beginning without your drama absorbing all the attention when the three of you were together!
Egwene: Ooh! Ooh! Without me, the Seanchan would have killed Min! She’s important to Rand, right?
Clarennoli: You mean the woman, who, despite being his constant companion has not managed to contribute to a single major accomplishment or positive development in his life? The woman whose relationship was concurrent with the nadir of his personal regression into the dark hard figure who could have destroyed the world before the Dark One ever got a turn? What WOULD the world have done without her? You DO realize that the plan of each and every one of her accomplishments was “find a competent person to do it for me”, don’t you?
Egwene: But she DID get competent people together, and without her, lots of stuff would not have happened! Siuan would not have escaped the Tower for one thing. If she didn’t escape, the rebellion would have collapsed long before ….
Clarennoli: Before they were driven to the very brink of war? Before a Great Captain could wander into their camp chasing some strange and help make the rebels into a credible threat? Before they were forced to accept Elaida’s amnesty and return to the Tower and provide some resistance to her more insane decrees and enough of a voting bloc to remove her when things started getting out of hand?
Egwene: But in your scenario, a truly neutral Amyrlin like me could never have risen to power to put an end to the factionalism and strife that had been endemic for a long time, and which were the REAL underlying causes of the rebellion. Without Siuan, there would have been no me, and without me, the Tower would have shattered beyond all repair.
Clarennoli: Leaving, who, exactly, to impede the Dragon Reborn, to ossify the profession of channeling by enforcing a stagnant monopoly over it, and stand as a bulwark against necessary changes in the world?
Egwene: Well, I promoted Nynaeve & Elayne as Aes Sedai. Without me, they’d have been rotting away as Accepted.
Clarennoli: Actually, the Salidar sisters were about to promote them above the rank of Accepted on their own merits. Their promotions would have come one way or another. And since you’re ramming the Three Oaths down their throats anyway, what have they really gained?
Egwene: GAWYN!! I make him happy with my lady-parts! He’d be worse off without me for sure!
Clarennoli: You mean the rich, “gorgeous” nobleman would have found it impossible to catch some trim if he didn’t have you to pine over and inspire his ignoring anyone else hitting on him?
Egwene: I think I want to jump now.
The past is just that, the past. You can only truly live by looking to the future!
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It's (Not) A Wonderful Life - 13/07/2011 01:32:26 AM 1108 Views
A brilliant read. - 13/07/2011 02:25:47 AM 571 Views
- 15/07/2011 07:29:31 PM 443 Views
I think it'd be kinda mean to flame such a nicely written piece - 16/07/2011 03:35:09 AM 417 Views
Kudos *NM* - 19/07/2011 08:01:51 AM 241 Views
Nice. - 19/07/2011 07:04:54 PM 439 Views

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