But wouldn't it have been better for them to have died before reaching Egwene, so they would not have absconded with her and ruined whatever plan she had for when she woke up in the Tower? That's the only way you can go if you run with her logic.

Interesting is an interesting word for it. Even if you set aside the issues with doing that, recall that this incident was at the height of the Trolloc Wars, and in order to teach the prospective sister a lesson about bonding a Warder a day before it was legal, they kept her in the kitchens for two years, while people bled and died and were desperate for every ounce of help, such as another Aes Sedai could have provided! Even as fallen as the Tower is in strength and knowledge 2000 years later, a Great Captain is telling Moiraine that a single sister at Tarwin's Gap would be worth thousands of troops. The White Tower held back the equivalent of thousands of soldiers from the the front lines of a war with the Shadow, over a technicality. Hell, in the very scene where Egwene makes that comparison, Siuan is speculating that Myrelle's & Nisao's warders will be passed to other sisters as punishment for the Aes Sedais' "transgression" with Lan.

At this point "Well the Tower does X, so a comparable action can't be as evil as you imply" is not much of an argument.

Ecrasez la infame!

This is Egwene. Power is way more important than violations of one's person.