Though it would be more accurate, I think, to say that when an adulterers peer group chooses to ignore or condone their adultery the peer group makes itself look bad (which covers a lot more ground than just churches. ) And since the Vatican position on divorce is that of Christ, that it's only permissible in cases of adultery (though I have a good Catholic friend who insists that even then only separation, not actual divorce, is permissible) well, much the same logic applies.

But, yes, when members of any group are engaged in the ongoing practice of something explicitly forbidden by said groups beliefs, that looks bad, and when the group decides to simply ignore the particular belief in question because it's inconvenient, that looks worse. Maybe they should try the Rumsfeld approach: Define same sex marriage as something other than homosexual and then approve whatever new thing they classify it as while maintaining the prohibition on "gay marriage. "

As to your main point, two hypocrisies don't make integrity.