Now that I have internets again, I've gone around and updated bits and bobs around the site. One of the things I added was a page load time bit at the bottom of every page.
At the moment it's just a boring "This page was generated in 5 million seconds" type thing, so what I need from everyone is suggestions for slightly more witty sentances.
What I'm looking for is references to all Sci-Fi & Fantasy literature (not just WoT, so don't resubmit all the old ones from wotmania
) as well as related TV shows and movies.
Leave your suggestions as replies to this thread (please don't NB them to me!), and at some point in the next few weeks I'll gather them together, whip them into shape and get them on the site!
Let's see what you've got, then!
EDIT: Unannouncing... keep on suggesting though!
At the moment it's just a boring "This page was generated in 5 million seconds" type thing, so what I need from everyone is suggestions for slightly more witty sentances.
What I'm looking for is references to all Sci-Fi & Fantasy literature (not just WoT, so don't resubmit all the old ones from wotmania
) as well as related TV shows and movies.Leave your suggestions as replies to this thread (please don't NB them to me!), and at some point in the next few weeks I'll gather them together, whip them into shape and get them on the site!
Let's see what you've got, then!
EDIT: Unannouncing... keep on suggesting though!
It's all my fault...
Vegas Aug 17-18 - A Night to Remember
Spoony made this aaaages ago for me. Never got to use it though... until now!
Vegas Aug 17-18 - A Night to Remember
Spoony made this aaaages ago for me. Never got to use it though... until now!
This message last edited by Nebhead on 22/09/2009 at 01:53:22 PM
Page load time suggestions
- 20/09/2009 09:37:49 PM
3871 Views
This thread is omnipresent across all the boards. 
- 20/09/2009 09:47:57 PM
1782 Views
- 20/09/2009 09:47:57 PM
1782 Views
Ah, feck.
- 20/09/2009 09:50:44 PM
1727 Views
Fixed 
- 20/09/2009 09:58:29 PM
1614 Views
- 20/09/2009 09:58:29 PM
1614 Views
But!
- 20/09/2009 10:11:52 PM
1559 Views
test *NM*
- 20/09/2009 10:12:42 PM
916 Views
Nope.
- 20/09/2009 10:14:14 PM
1549 Views
- 20/09/2009 10:14:14 PM
1549 Views
Yeah. It's a CMB post that's simply visible from all boards.
- 20/09/2009 10:29:42 PM
1544 Views
this page calculated the answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe and Everything in x
- 21/09/2009 02:09:48 AM
1633 Views
this page calculated the Question to the Ultimate Answer of Life, the Universe and Everything in x
- 21/09/2009 02:10:09 AM
1572 Views
This page is X seconds faster than TMJ making a quip about MGB and/or Antonio Banderas *NM*
- 20/09/2009 09:57:19 PM
914 Views
Steven Erikson made this page an amateur philosopher in X seconds. *NM*
- 20/09/2009 10:35:13 PM
896 Views
This page predicts the ending of Lost in X seconds
- 20/09/2009 11:09:55 PM
1729 Views
This page was held in a trance by the One Ring for x seconds *NM*
- 20/09/2009 11:34:17 PM
954 Views
This page was stuck for x seconds while Captain Kirk made a dramatic pause. *NM*
- 20/09/2009 11:37:21 PM
878 Views
The Man in Black fled across the desert, and this page followed for X seconds *NM*
- 21/09/2009 12:10:00 AM
907 Views
This page made the Kessel Run in ___ seconds. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 12:25:32 AM
850 Views
This page swears by it's pretty blue bonnet that it will end you in X seconds *NM*
- 21/09/2009 12:27:19 AM
908 Views
floral! floral bonnet! *NM*
- 21/09/2009 10:52:50 AM
852 Views
Blue bonnets are flowers; does that help...?
- 21/09/2009 05:32:28 PM
1318 Views
This page sent the "We're Pathetic. Don't Shoot" message in X seconds *NM*
- 21/09/2009 12:28:41 AM
918 Views
Bender looked at this page for X seconds before laughing maniacally *NM*
- 21/09/2009 12:32:32 AM
846 Views
This page wants to go to the planet where it's a hero in X seconds *NM*
- 21/09/2009 12:33:39 AM
838 Views
This page betrayed all the others to the White Witch for candy in X seconds. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 01:56:01 AM
846 Views
this page saved a bunch of money on its insurance in x seconds *NM*
- 21/09/2009 02:13:24 AM
858 Views
The Balrog passed this page in x seconds.
- 21/09/2009 02:34:03 AM
1460 Views
This page won the Quidditch House Cup in x seconds. More inside this and my quoted post.
- 21/09/2009 02:59:39 AM
1480 Views
Read and Find Out in x seconds. More inside, and inside my previous ones.
- 21/09/2009 03:14:57 AM
1426 Views
Actually, Read and Find out doesn't really work. What works is...
- 21/09/2009 09:54:44 PM
1460 Views
This page threw itself at the ground and missed in X seconds. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 02:51:46 AM
881 Views
This page is from X seconds in the future, and it's here to kill you. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 03:02:15 AM
849 Views
This page was confused by an episode of Lost after X seconds *NM*
- 21/09/2009 03:08:09 AM
979 Views
This page had elves for X seconds and is no longer considered literary fiction. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 03:11:46 AM
844 Views
This page will reverse the polarity in X seconds. That should fix everything. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 03:55:02 AM
908 Views
This page killed three kobolds and a bugbear for X experience. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 03:57:08 AM
840 Views
That's thirty minutes away. This page will be there in X seconds. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 04:27:48 AM
743 Views
This page wrote Jar Jar/Predator fiction for X seconds. That's why Google linked you here. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 04:37:48 AM
855 Views
This page killed Sylar three times in X seconds. Now they're working together. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 04:46:23 AM
857 Views
This page spent the last X seconds eating dwarf bread. Best just leave it alone. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 05:05:25 AM
847 Views
This Page was plown to peices by (insert Moranth munition here) in xx seconds *NM*
- 21/09/2009 05:05:27 AM
903 Views
This page used Feruchemy to get here in X seconds. That's a whole year of dial-up wasted. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 05:13:56 AM
847 Views
*NM*
This page channeled the ghost of Alan Turing for X seconds, but only a lonely chatbot noticed. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 05:27:47 AM
859 Views
You just Quantum Leaped in --- seconds??? Something to do witht hat show. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 08:32:42 AM
820 Views
This page complained about the time/date format in x seconds *NM*
- 21/09/2009 09:43:08 AM
903 Views
This page travelled at warp around the sun and went to 1986 for X seconds. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 10:04:51 AM
839 Views
This page was "a harmony of mathematical precision" for x seconds
- 21/09/2009 10:12:45 AM
1538 Views
This page became the Emporer's Apprentice in X seconds. Still not as fast as Anakin. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 10:13:28 AM
861 Views
This page headed Southeast on Baka Laka Daka Street for X seconds *NM*
- 21/09/2009 10:15:08 AM
903 Views
This page wresteld a Wookie for X seconds. Then lost it's arms. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 10:20:09 AM
839 Views
This page took X seconds to make Marvin want to kill himself. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 11:07:39 AM
689 Views
This page was created by the Heart of Gold's Infinite Probability Drive in X seconds. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 11:46:38 AM
807 Views
This page lasted X seconds before passing out after drinking a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 11:47:41 AM
874 Views
This page was eaten by a Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal in X seconds *NM*
- 21/09/2009 11:53:10 AM
783 Views
This page looked into the Total Perspective Vortex for X second before going crazy. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 11:58:42 AM
847 Views
This page got into a fight after X seconds in a bar on Unification Day. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 12:12:53 PM
854 Views
This page made God disappear in a puff of logic in X seconds *NM*
- 21/09/2009 12:25:21 PM
849 Views
This page was constructed by the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation in X seconds. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 01:48:56 PM
854 Views
This page will explode if it loads slower than x seconds per hour *NM*
- 21/09/2009 01:56:49 PM
871 Views
When asked if it was a god, this page said 'yes' in X seconds. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 02:38:46 PM
761 Views
This page considered her proposal for X seconds. For this page, that was an enternity. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 02:41:28 PM
850 Views
This page can show you the world, shinning, shimmering, and splendid in X seconds *NM*
- 21/09/2009 02:49:55 PM
964 Views
This page changed a rock for the sacred relic in X seconds...then ran from the huge boulder. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 02:51:17 PM
863 Views
This page was created on October the 24th, 4004 B.C. at 9 a.m. in just X seconds *NM*
- 21/09/2009 02:52:39 PM
878 Views
This page revealed itself to Mulder for X seconds, but not Scully. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 02:56:02 PM
825 Views
Let's have some Goodkind ones, just for a laugh *NM*
- 21/09/2009 03:14:40 PM
818 Views
*NM*
- 21/09/2009 03:14:40 PM
818 Views
This page expressed Gratch's love for Rich-arggg in X seconds *NM*
- 23/09/2009 02:58:12 PM
929 Views
This page only questioned Richard for X seconds. He's always right. *NM*
- 23/09/2009 03:13:02 PM
853 Views
This page watched the entire run of Stargate SG1 in x seconds *NM*
- 21/09/2009 03:18:04 PM
862 Views
Good news, everyone! I've invented a device that loaded this page in ... seconds. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 03:53:34 PM
863 Views
*NM*
This page would have gotten away with it, if it weren't for those meddling X seconds. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 04:11:46 PM
783 Views
This page took X seconds to skip reading Elayne's pregnancy chapters. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 04:14:10 PM
818 Views
This page was brought to life by a magical cupboard for X seconds. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 04:30:03 PM
797 Views
This page balanced on the back of a giant turtle for X seconds. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 04:39:33 PM
927 Views
This page grasped its cosmic insignificance and went mad in X seconds. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 04:45:20 PM
821 Views
This page has not finished loading yet. Don't click anything. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 04:53:02 PM
1777 Views
This page spread chocolate all over the floor and let Chunk eat his way through in X seconds. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 04:55:35 PM
808 Views
This page found out everything there is to know about the D man in X seconds. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 04:58:19 PM
855 Views
This page stopped an alien invasion with glass of water in X seconds. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 04:59:05 PM
820 Views
This page spent billions on a Vegan launch pad so it could talk to its dead father for X seconds. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 05:04:28 PM
834 Views
This page cursed those filthy, fat, stupid hobbitses for X seconds. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 05:05:38 PM
865 Views
It took the Librarian X seconds to throw this page out of the Library. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 05:10:28 PM
860 Views
This page was betrayed by Jayne Cobb and spent X seconds loading in a box on Canton. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 05:18:33 PM
887 Views
This page can kill you with its brain in X seconds. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 05:19:13 PM
807 Views
Drizzt managed to slash this page 412 times before it finished loading. He felt really bad about it. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 05:20:06 PM
820 Views
This page disbelieved the reality of this site for X seconds. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 05:22:01 PM
815 Views
1 green and 3 colorless mana were tapped to summon this page. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 05:22:53 PM
804 Views
It took x seconds for this page to sniff and pull its' braid. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 05:37:43 PM
840 Views
This page came from a world where Napolean clones killed Hitler in X seconds. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 05:49:24 PM
805 Views
This page smoked me a kipper and will be back for breakfast in x seconds *NM*
- 21/09/2009 05:59:57 PM
900 Views
This page hit you with a major leaflet campaign in x seconds. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 06:00:48 PM
885 Views
This page found out where all the calculators would go in x seconds. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 06:01:37 PM
902 Views
This page has an IQ of x seconds. That is the same IQ as x PE teachers. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 06:03:14 PM
888 Views
It took the Torchwood writers x seconds to kill the entire cast of this page. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 06:04:57 PM
845 Views
Samuel Vimes turned this page into Lawful Good in x seconds. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 06:06:59 PM
916 Views
Mr Universe intercepted an X second data stream about this page. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 06:22:29 PM
871 Views
This page was so long that Brandon Sanderson split it into X parts. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 06:55:41 PM
853 Views
This page defeated six blademasters in X seconds... eat that, Rand al`Thor! *NM*
- 21/09/2009 06:57:48 PM
854 Views
This page crackled and exploded out of stone sleep in X seconds *NM*
- 21/09/2009 07:22:42 PM
915 Views
This page revealed it's true nature with the Eye of Odin in X seconds. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 07:24:19 PM
879 Views
This page manipulated Brooklyn into stealing the Grimorium Arcanorum in X secconds *NM*
- 21/09/2009 07:26:19 PM
872 Views
This page wiped out the entire Formic race in X seconds. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 07:24:57 PM
861 Views
For X seconds this page pondered that time is an illusion, lunchtime doubly so. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 07:25:56 PM
903 Views
This page called upon Crom to grant it victory over its enemies for X seconds. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 07:26:28 PM
901 Views
This page's brilliance astonished even itself for X seconds. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 07:27:03 PM
875 Views
This page failed to find any intelligent life for X seconds. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 07:27:31 PM
877 Views
Look, this page doesn't like to say "I told you so", but it told you so X seconds ago. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 07:28:06 PM
885 Views
All your base are belong to this page for the next X seconds. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 07:34:23 PM
848 Views
While this page loaded in x seconds, Griffith sacrificed his comrades to become Femto *NM*
- 21/09/2009 08:03:42 PM
879 Views
Azathoth destroys the world in the x seconds it took to load this page *NM*
- 21/09/2009 08:09:07 PM
902 Views
The Triforce granted this page the wish to load in x seconds *NM*
- 21/09/2009 08:12:08 PM
909 Views
Thank you for pressing the self-destruct button. Your computer will self-destruct in exactly X
- 21/09/2009 08:47:37 PM
1660 Views
This page couldn't figure out where Demandred is for X seconds. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 08:50:47 PM
822 Views
This page found out the hard way that resistance is futile for X seconds. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 08:54:50 PM
893 Views
This page pulled the Sword of Gryffondor from the Sorting Hate in X seconds *NM*
- 21/09/2009 08:58:48 PM
850 Views
D'argo and Chiana had fantastic sex on this page for X seconds *NM*
- 21/09/2009 09:00:44 PM
862 Views
Rygel the XVI, Dominar to over 6 billion subjects, ate this page in X seconds *NM*
- 21/09/2009 09:01:35 PM
835 Views
This page put down a Goodkind book after X seconds of reading. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 09:03:39 PM
835 Views
Dan Brown tied this page to an ancient conspiracy in X seconds *NM*
- 21/09/2009 09:04:53 PM
846 Views
Jedi mind tricks didn't work on this page for X seconds. Only money. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 09:08:30 PM
906 Views
This page went to Tosche Station for power converters and back in X seconds. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 09:28:20 PM
857 Views
This page held out its hand and found that it's quite cool for X seconds. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 09:33:01 PM
888 Views
If you strike this page down, it shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 09:39:21 PM
823 Views
This is not the page you're looking for. You can go about your business. Move along, move along. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 09:41:48 PM
830 Views
This page looked like it was saying, "Kiss me, kiss me!" for X seconds. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 09:42:42 PM
798 Views
Bob recalled this page in X seconds while reading a bawdy potboiler. *NM*
- 21/09/2009 11:58:31 PM
831 Views
This page started wailing the blues when the doctor whacked its bottom X seconds ago. *NM*
- 22/09/2009 12:10:59 AM
810 Views
This page consulted Dustin Hoffman on its existential concerns for X seconds. *NM*
- 22/09/2009 12:18:18 AM
887 Views
This page took photographic evidence of fairies seriously for X seconds. *NM*
- 22/09/2009 12:21:52 AM
827 Views
This page pit llamas against squirrels in a X-second deathmatch. *NM*
- 22/09/2009 12:36:18 AM
861 Views
This page converted all Martians to the Jesuit order in X seconds. *NM*
- 22/09/2009 12:37:57 AM
841 Views
This page toured the London Underground with a girl named Door for X seconds *NM*
- 22/09/2009 01:15:59 AM
887 Views
Fiver had a bad feeling about this page for X seconds *NM*
- 22/09/2009 01:22:35 AM
873 Views
Yes! 
I was trying to think of a Watership Down one. Awesome. *NM*
- 22/09/2009 04:41:00 AM
768 Views
I was trying to think of a Watership Down one. Awesome. *NM*
- 22/09/2009 04:41:00 AM
768 Views
For X seconds, this page was a germ, a rare disease, called "malagolintomontorosis." *NM*
- 22/09/2009 04:49:08 AM
1453 Views
By loading in [x], looks like this page arrived just in the nick of time. What does that make it? *NM*
- 22/09/2009 01:42:46 AM
891 Views
How about "This page arrived in X seconds. What does that make it?" *NM*
- 22/09/2009 02:24:49 AM
799 Views
Gollum, and the evil one crept up and slipped away with her X seconds ago *NM*
- 22/09/2009 02:16:32 AM
846 Views
Moist von Lipwig completely fixed this page up in X seconds. *NM*
- 22/09/2009 02:26:53 AM
859 Views
Some oldies: This page grokked you in X seconds; this page aligned the matrix tower in x seconds *NM*
- 22/09/2009 02:29:00 AM
885 Views
oldies cont: this page jaunted in X seconds; this page assembled an ansible in x seconds *NM*
- 22/09/2009 02:31:45 AM
892 Views
Jewell a Terafin saw this page coming X seconds before it arrived *NM*
- 22/09/2009 02:33:08 AM
986 Views
This page was the bravest little hobbit of them all for X seconds. *NM*
- 22/09/2009 04:50:45 AM
801 Views
This page crossed the River Isen on Midsummer's Eve in X seconds, disguised as riders in black *NM*
- 22/09/2009 01:50:55 PM
867 Views
This page successfully froze time... but only for X seconds. *NM*
- 22/09/2009 07:12:19 PM
812 Views
This page was delayed by x seconds, it was trying to make sense of a sentence in Anathem. *NM*
- 22/09/2009 07:47:03 PM
823 Views
Tash managed x seconds before using Cleanandor™ on Samuel L. Jackson *NM*
- 22/09/2009 07:48:48 PM
791 Views
This page has been so worried it hasn't buffed its shoes in x days. *NM*
- 23/09/2009 12:49:16 PM
774 Views
Time [x seconds] is a great healer. Unless it's a rash, then you're better off with ointment. *NM*
- 23/09/2009 12:51:59 PM
888 Views
This page will rendevous with Rama in X seconds *NM*
- 24/09/2009 01:07:48 AM
782 Views
Great one. That is one of the best SF-novels ever. Behind Solaris.. *NM*
- 25/09/2009 10:23:28 PM
871 Views
This page sang that there are no cats in America and the streets are paved with cheese for X seconds *NM*
- 24/09/2009 01:08:31 AM
846 Views
It took the scales x seconds to decide whether this page was a witch or not. *NM*
- 24/09/2009 09:59:59 AM
882 Views
This page was turned into a newt for x seconds. It got better. *NM*
- 24/09/2009 10:01:20 AM
768 Views
This page proclaimed: "Oh my God, it's full of stars!" x seconds after arriving at readandfindout
- 25/09/2009 10:31:52 PM
1497 Views
This page uncovered the true nature of V'ger x seconds before Kirk
- 25/09/2009 10:34:54 PM
1338 Views
A copy of this page was created by the "ocean" on Solaris in x seconds *NM*
- 25/09/2009 10:36:49 PM
881 Views
This page had breakfast x seconds ago. Now it is time for second breakfast. *NM*
- 27/09/2009 12:57:50 PM
826 Views