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This sounds like a job for ... Nate Send a noteboard - 29/11/2011 11:07:03 PM
... SuperNate!

~clears throat~

Here's what I'd do with what you wrote:

I scry you've grown a wishbone there,
Whereon your backbone ought to be.
Your days have sewn more fear than fair,
But hearken child of Eve to me!


If beauty be your head's desire,
Naught but shade shall dance with thee;
And if you hide your heart's true fire,
Soon disaster will you see.


(I have no idea what this third stanza means in your story, so I'mma wing it.)

This curse upon you, note it well,
Choose one path or the other free.
Beyond these roads two, truth I tell,
Lie pains in one or joys in three.


If you within the year uphold
To stand for you and bend no knee,
Then yours shall be a beauty gold,
And peace, and love, my sweetest pea.
Warder to starry_nite

Chapterfish — Nate's Writing Blog
http://chapterfish.wordpress.com
This message last edited by Nate on 29/11/2011 at 11:07:40 PM
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Oh, Hello there! You guys like to read, right? Well, I need your help! ^_^ [UPDATED] - 29/11/2011 07:31:51 PM 616 Views
I'm not really sure there's enough context there to help - 29/11/2011 08:06:02 PM 322 Views
Fear Darrig - 29/11/2011 10:09:16 PM 381 Views
*muse* I'm thinking about the character from V for Vendetta - 29/11/2011 08:32:34 PM 343 Views
MmmmM... me likes. - 29/11/2011 10:10:03 PM 345 Views
To wry from writ will wreak wroth! - 30/11/2011 12:25:10 AM 376 Views
Try weaving the rhymes - 29/11/2011 09:01:39 PM 346 Views
Weaving the rhymes? - 29/11/2011 10:14:55 PM 342 Views
ABABAB, presumably. *NM* - 29/11/2011 10:16:14 PM 146 Views
Yes, yes... - 29/11/2011 10:18:41 PM 357 Views
Oh. Sorry. *NM* - 29/11/2011 10:24:33 PM 135 Views
nah... honest mistake... - 29/11/2011 10:34:29 PM 311 Views
ah - 30/11/2011 06:42:01 AM 417 Views
I see. Good point. *NM* - 02/12/2011 03:06:36 AM 184 Views
Blergh. It still sounds crap! - 29/11/2011 10:36:10 PM 379 Views
This sounds like a job for ... - 29/11/2011 11:07:03 PM 360 Views
the addition of archaic sounding language does a lot. *NM* - 29/11/2011 11:24:09 PM 164 Views
Wow. - 29/11/2011 11:53:46 PM 345 Views
Oh And.... - 30/11/2011 12:12:09 AM 357 Views
Alright... here's my second stab at it. - 30/11/2011 04:06:10 AM 346 Views
Dust and Sparkles! - 30/11/2011 01:36:58 AM 331 Views
Uhm... The thread you were looking for... - 30/11/2011 04:22:50 AM 352 Views
I am equal parts embarrassed by and proud/jealous of you; congrats. - 30/11/2011 03:03:20 PM 319 Views
hahahahaha i was so confused there for a second - 30/11/2011 03:17:09 PM 318 Views
Ah ha. - 30/11/2011 03:56:27 PM 323 Views
- 02/12/2011 03:09:51 AM 416 Views
- 02/12/2011 01:44:36 PM 309 Views
BwAhHAhAhHAhaa... - 02/12/2011 03:10:09 AM 390 Views
Well, I had a few RL friends who all joined in... - 02/12/2011 03:08:49 AM 371 Views
Wait, peer pressure can be a GOOD thing? - 02/12/2011 01:47:06 PM 376 Views
Indeed. - 03/12/2011 12:33:43 AM 560 Views
It would. - 03/12/2011 11:38:35 PM 422 Views

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