You realize that the amounts of foreign aid granted by the US government, in percentage terms, are by no means 'huge', right? See here for details - the US ranks near the bottom among wealthy nations. An important qualifier is that the US scores much better when it comes to private donations, which you'll probably argue is how it should be - fine, but still you can't claim that the amount of public money spent on foreign aid is so impressive, or that cutting it will make any meaningful difference in what the government is able to spend at home.

That being said, as small as the foreign aid is by American standards, it makes a big difference to its recipients, and cutting it would certainly have an impact in many places.

And as for your comparison - personally I don't think that showing charity to someone means that person isn't allowed to criticize me anymore. Otherwise it wouldn't be charity so much as a quid-pro-quo where I give them stuff in return for them expressing gratitude and supporting me (basically what Israel and Taiwan tend to do, two nations with a fair amount of disposable income but a lack of friends around the world).

I wouldn't say those things either - but I do have a problem with the ridiculous martyr complex where many Americans seem to believe Trump's nonsense about the US being taken advantage of, whether it's by Iraq or by Mexico. Those people are not xenophobic but xeno-ignorant, so to speak, willing to believe any random fairytale about foreign countries.