LOL, I would too, of course it is the higher value that is most likely to be true, a scale not perpendicular to the direction of gravity will always read lower than true, for instance, if at ten degrees off level, your weight, say 150 lbs, would read 150 x cos(10)=147

However, if you are getting different readings it means your abode isn't just simply not level but not flat either. On a flat surface, regardless of angle, you will get the same reading no matter where you move the scale, so you either have a damaged scale, a really warped floor, or very uneven flooring. I advice using a board or large book under the scale leveled with shims.