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I see. Sareitha Sedai Send a noteboard - 25/03/2010 04:05:04 PM

As in, I've told her I would and it would be mean and petty to go back on my word.

She does need it where she is and she has no other way of getting it. Making her wait until she can afford it just seems mean and petty, particularly as that could be quite awhile.

If she asks me for money to help cover her rent though the answer is going to be a flat out 'no'.

I mean, I wouldn't describe it as mean and petty so much as adapting to changing circumstances/information. Mean and petty would be telling her you won't buy it because you don't want to make her feel like a burden on your finances

That's fair though, and I understand and admire where you are coming from. I totally agree with your stance on the rent and those types of expenses. It was her decision to make her (and your) situation more complicated and expensive, and she has to live with and step up to the consequences of that. She doesn't get the benefits of being married to you without living up to the responsibilities and obligations that go along with that.

If you are from Betelgeuse, please have one of your Earth friends read what I've written before you respond. Or try concentrating harder.

"The trophy problem has become extreme."

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Taking the high road isn't easy... SilverWarder - 25/03/2010 03:27:47 PM 998 Views

I think the counseling will help, assuming it's with somebody good Sareitha Sedai - 25/03/2010 03:44:47 PM 620 Views

I'm pretty much committed at this point SilverWarder - 25/03/2010 03:50:26 PM 575 Views

I see. Sareitha Sedai - 25/03/2010 04:05:04 PM 593 Views

actually..... moondog - 26/03/2010 05:56:09 AM 556 Views

They live in Canuckistan

Macharius - 26/03/2010 12:59:59 PM 513 Views

Matters not, but thank you SilverWarder - 26/03/2010 01:48:06 PM 542 Views

Counselling might help

LadyLorraine - 25/03/2010 03:54:29 PM 535 Views

I hope so too SilverWarder - 25/03/2010 07:03:43 PM 539 Views

Showing your anger isn't necessarily bad if you can do it without really losing your temper... Legolas - 25/03/2010 04:24:03 PM 560 Views

Kind of like a bookshelf SilverWarder - 25/03/2010 07:01:03 PM 631 Views

I hate the high road. Macharius - 25/03/2010 05:30:19 PM 649 Views

Well, actually she's still running her D&D game SilverWarder - 25/03/2010 07:05:23 PM 578 Views

Wow... Jacob - 25/03/2010 07:25:53 PM 565 Views

Re: Well, actually she's still running her D&D game Macharius - 25/03/2010 07:26:47 PM 551 Views

Apparently I don't play any of the 'power builds' from it SilverWarder - 25/03/2010 07:59:59 PM 699 Views

Venting is good Camilla - 25/03/2010 05:40:50 PM 551 Views

Well, I'm doing my best SilverWarder - 25/03/2010 07:07:28 PM 526 Views

The high road sucks but you get less shit on your shoes random thoughts - 25/03/2010 05:46:33 PM 557 Views

Thank you. It's really not a lot of fun - SilverWarder - 25/03/2010 07:09:40 PM 529 Views

The best thing you can do is to speak to her when your anger isn't flaring, but be honest. LaSombra - 25/03/2010 07:08:48 PM 519 Views

The high road certainly isn't easy. Jacob - 25/03/2010 07:42:47 PM 602 Views

You know...we're not close & we frequently do not get along.... Jeordam - 25/03/2010 07:57:01 PM 664 Views

This. *NM* Avendesora - 25/03/2010 08:00:40 PM 221 Views

Sounds like good advice (says the guy without kids

) *NM* Floffe - 25/03/2010 08:48:27 PM 215 Views

Thanks Jeo SilverWarder - 25/03/2010 08:58:37 PM 535 Views

/me hugs I love Rafolites. *NM* StarrBecca - 25/03/2010 11:11:39 PM 220 Views

*hugses* Beqi - 25/03/2010 08:56:36 PM 531 Views

I'm sure I don't have to tell you this nossy - 25/03/2010 09:18:31 PM 509 Views

Make sure you keep records of the money you give her and the clothes you buy. Tim - 25/03/2010 09:34:49 PM 539 Views

Lord I hope it doesn't come to that. SilverWarder - 25/03/2010 11:58:35 PM 555 Views

I told you. Medication. rebelaessedai - 25/03/2010 10:04:11 PM 547 Views

I have to Agree, I think your wife needs psyche help, and medical help. StarrBecca - 25/03/2010 11:13:48 PM 538 Views

let's assume, for the sake of discussion... damookster - 26/03/2010 03:59:25 AM 633 Views

ugh...stupid double post *NM* damookster - 26/03/2010 03:59:45 AM 233 Views

Can I offer a suggestion for dealign with the anger? callandor1000 - 26/03/2010 04:45:37 AM 561 Views

Have you considered Domestic Violence? *NM* Dark Cannoli'gar - 26/03/2010 06:02:43 AM 243 Views

Naturally not. SilverWarder - 26/03/2010 01:50:27 PM 541 Views

i can't really add anything that hasn't been said before moondog - 26/03/2010 06:10:47 AM 535 Views

:/ *hugs* *NM* globug0822 - 30/03/2010 02:11:24 PM 227 Views

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<quote id="92079">
<quote id="92073">
As in, I've told her I would and it would be mean and petty to go back on my word.

She does need it where she is and she has no other way of getting it. Making her wait until she can afford it just seems mean and petty, particularly as that could be quite awhile.

If she asks me for money to help cover her rent though the answer is going to be a flat out 'no'.
</quote>

I mean, I wouldn't describe it as mean and petty so much as adapting to changing circumstances/information.  Mean and petty would be telling her you won't buy it because you don't want to make her feel like a burden on your finances :P

That's fair though, and I understand and admire where you are coming from.  I totally agree with your stance on the rent and those types of expenses.  It was her decision to make her (and your) situation more complicated and expensive, and she has to live with and step up to the consequences of that.  She doesn't get the benefits of being married to you without living up to the responsibilities and obligations that go along with that.
</quote>

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