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The high road certainly isn't easy. Jacob Send a noteboard - 25/03/2010 07:42:47 PM
Even when the stakes aren't as high as your marriage and family, the high road isn't easy most of the time.

The thing of it is, you are fighting for your family, your marriage, for people that you love. No matter how poorly she handled it, or how bad the idea of moving out was in the first place, it was a thing that she obviously felt needed to happen. Things aren't likely to change in a matter of weeks. In fact, you'll be far more likely to trust the outcome if it takes time, and measured thought, than if you came home from work and she had moved back in. You'd always be waiting for this to happen again.

If you really want things to work out, you have to be willing to forgive her... forgive her for moving out in the first place, forgive her for how she did it. The actual forgiving will probably be a long time coming. However, for actual reconciliation to come out of this, you'll have to be willing to forgive her. You'll probably have to show her that, and she'll have to believe it, before reconciliation will happen.

Money... money is always tough, especially when you don't completely trust the motivations of the person. It's probably a good idea to be as supportive as makes sense and is possible in the short term. You'll be doing it for your daughter. She needs two functioning parents, and damned if you aren't going to do what you can to make sure that your girl has everything she needs. Your wife needs to find he footing so that she can make some big decisions about her life and who she is. You need to decide what you're willing to forgive, to ignore, and do in this situation. The one thing that you do know is that your daughter needs the both of you... and you can help her get what she needs right now.

Best of luck. I hope that you have someone to talk with... just you and not a couples thing, and not mutual friends.
This message last edited by Jacob on 25/03/2010 at 07:52:04 PM
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Taking the high road isn't easy... - 25/03/2010 03:27:47 PM 839 Views
I think the counseling will help, assuming it's with somebody good - 25/03/2010 03:44:47 PM 443 Views
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I see. - 25/03/2010 04:05:04 PM 414 Views
actually..... - 26/03/2010 05:56:09 AM 407 Views
They live in Canuckistan - 26/03/2010 12:59:59 PM 366 Views
Matters not, but thank you - 26/03/2010 01:48:06 PM 386 Views
Counselling might help - 25/03/2010 03:54:29 PM 379 Views
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Kind of like a bookshelf - 25/03/2010 07:01:03 PM 476 Views
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Well, actually she's still running her D&D game - 25/03/2010 07:05:23 PM 405 Views
Wow... - 25/03/2010 07:25:53 PM 407 Views
Re: Well, actually she's still running her D&D game - 25/03/2010 07:26:47 PM 401 Views
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Well, I'm doing my best - 25/03/2010 07:07:28 PM 372 Views
The high road sucks but you get less shit on your shoes - 25/03/2010 05:46:33 PM 402 Views
Thank you. It's really not a lot of fun - - 25/03/2010 07:09:40 PM 373 Views
The high road certainly isn't easy. - 25/03/2010 07:42:47 PM 440 Views
You know...we're not close & we frequently do not get along.... - 25/03/2010 07:57:01 PM 506 Views
This. *NM* - 25/03/2010 08:00:40 PM 150 Views
Sounds like good advice (says the guy without kids ) *NM* - 25/03/2010 08:48:27 PM 151 Views
Thanks Jeo - 25/03/2010 08:58:37 PM 388 Views
/me hugs I love Rafolites. *NM* - 25/03/2010 11:11:39 PM 158 Views
*hugses* - 25/03/2010 08:56:36 PM 373 Views
I'm sure I don't have to tell you this - 25/03/2010 09:18:31 PM 366 Views
Make sure you keep records of the money you give her and the clothes you buy. - 25/03/2010 09:34:49 PM 389 Views
Lord I hope it doesn't come to that. - 25/03/2010 11:58:35 PM 403 Views
I told you. Medication. - 25/03/2010 10:04:11 PM 395 Views
I have to Agree, I think your wife needs psyche help, and medical help. - 25/03/2010 11:13:48 PM 388 Views
let's assume, for the sake of discussion... - 26/03/2010 03:59:25 AM 490 Views
ugh...stupid double post *NM* - 26/03/2010 03:59:45 AM 159 Views
Can I offer a suggestion for dealign with the anger? - 26/03/2010 04:45:37 AM 391 Views
Have you considered Domestic Violence? *NM* - 26/03/2010 06:02:43 AM 181 Views
Naturally not. - 26/03/2010 01:50:27 PM 389 Views
i can't really add anything that hasn't been said before - 26/03/2010 06:10:47 AM 378 Views
:/ *hugs* *NM* - 30/03/2010 02:11:24 PM 161 Views

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