that your wife has legitimate mental and emotional issues that are driving her to act this way. If that's the case, then giving in to the all-too human desire to vent your frustration will accomplish nothing more than, as others have pointed out, to possibly frighten or confuse your daughter. Even if on some level your anger made sense to her, even felt justified, it would not impel her to change. Not if the root cause is mental problems like major depression, bi-polar disorder, etc. What's good, what's right, what's just, what's logical, all mean nothing in those circumstances. The only things that matter are whatever things successfully insulate you from the feelings that are overwhelming you. For most of us who have been there, that means things like isolation, darkness, and sleep. Work, friends, family, food, fun, sex-none of those mean a damned thing. Not until you get the help you need to get out of the pit. Like April said in her reply, that usually means medication. At some point, she will have to bottom out enough to realize that.

Good luck, my friend. My wife and I have both been where you are because we both have those kind of issues. At the end of this year we will celebrate 37 years together. It can be done. But you have to want it more than you want anything 'cause it damned sure ain't easy.