I have recently been rereading Glen Cook's "Black Company" series, and absently googled it last night to discover they're making a TV show. And it stars Eliza Dushku. As The Lady.

No. Sorry. Uh uh. Wrong.

Look, I've got nothing against Dushku. I enjoyed the season of "Buffy" on which she appeared more than almost any other, and her two part episode was the highlight of the infamous Season 4. I went to see "Bring It On" and "The New Guy" in theaters with her casting being a tie-breaking factor. I liked her as Robert DeNiro's grand-babymomma in some other movie whose name escapes me at the moment. I watched "Tru Calling" and really, really TRIED to watch "Dollhouse". I even considered watching "That 70s Show" when I saw a commercial advertising her appearance. But she should NOT be playing The Lady.

If you didn't read "The Black Company", all you need to know about The Lady is Lanfear. Lanfear with political accumen, military command skills, and a sense of humor, who is sufficiently rational to NOT follow her heart in a direction 180 degrees removed from her self-interests or go apeshit over a guy. But physically, the look, the degree of beauty, the presence, all that stuff, she's enough like Lanfear in descriptions that you should be able to imagine an actress cast for one, playing the other. Rhona Mitra. Milla Jovoich or Charlize Theron in a wig. A young Catherine Zeta-Jones or Jennifer Connelly. Maybe Kate Beckinsale, but maybe not. She could play Soulcatcher though. Dushku might even be okay as Soulcatcher, but she's way too babyfaced to play The Lady.

I was going to say "young", but holy crap, Buffy was a long time ago. I seem to recall they graduated high school in 1999, because Columbine pushed some episodes off schedule. Dushku appeared in that season, so if she was only 18 when she made her breakthrough, that would make her at least 37. Sarah Michelle Gellar is probably older than she, so that means Buffy is probably middle-aged. I'm middle-aged. Many of YOU are middle-aged.When did that happen?!? Death comes for us ALL!!!!

No wonder I identify so much better with Croaker this time around.

But hey, "Black Company." On the screen. Something to look forward to, one way or another, right?