"The man" is a narcissist, that is all you need to know. What offends him is always going to be different than the normal rules of what cause people offense this can be good or bad, it is merely different and thus people should stop trying to layer onto that man normal social etiquette rules of behavior, for doing so will cause you to be constantly disappointed.

As for state dinners, those are social etiquette rules, little habits of what is to be expected. They are absurd on the face of it, but they do not seem absurd due to habit, we create a form of predictability that happens enough time that we stopped thinking about it.

But social etiquette rules were never rational or reasonable, they just simple are and they exist with different foundations that what is rational or reasonable. To channel the president that existed prior to "That Man" 'Why don’t you get a drink with [the Senate Majority Leader]?

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I am not a defender of "that man" but I think "that man" should have the freedom to make ridiculous offers, and to be offended when they are not accepted. I want that position he holds to be able to commit Faux Pos.

The nonsense he does is far more relevant with immediate material effects on other things he does.