I knew this was coming, I was surprised to learn already that it was out. So I decided to watch it, but I no longer trust franchises, especially Disney, so I decided to take notes, so Ewan McGregor's face does not lull me into being sympathetic by reminding me of when the movies were good.

Part I
00:06 Since when do they do “A long time ago…” for “TV” shows? They did for the Disney Star Wars movies, but not for Mandalorian.

00:23 Okay, do we really need a recap consisting of footage from some of the most-seen, most re-watched movies of all time?

01:19 This is going through EVERY step of Obi-Wan’s arc from the prequels.

02:27 And Anakin’s arc as well. I guess he’s going to be in this too.

04:00 I have a bad feeling about this.

05:01 Child murder! Always fun!

05:17 One thing I hated about the Expanded Universe was the sheer quantity of Jedi who survived Order 66, when you took every writer’s fan-fiction together. Yeah, it’s a big galaxy and totally conceivable that a lot of them did, and stayed hidden, but this is not the Imperium of the 41st Millennium. They have instantaneous communications across the galaxy. People were casting down Palpatine’s statue really quick after the Death Star blew. You’d think these guys would have been helping the Rebellion and in at the main efforts.

I say all this, because that’s what it looks like this is setting up.

05:42 I would question the choreography of this fight, except from my experience in Battlefront, it really is better to shoot at point-blank range. As long as the Jedi is retreating, follow (albeit at a more cautious distance than these chumps) and keep pumping blaster shots until one of them lands.

Also, while it seems awfully convenient that she collapses after killing all the immediately present foes, I will accept the Force as an explanation.

06:14 Six minutes into the show, title graphic comes up with the name Obi-Wan Kenobi, and no sign yet of him or anything relevant to him. Is this going to be a prop for the showrunner’s Star Wars fan fic?

06:26 This is ten years later, which is just enough time for one or more of those kids to grow into a spunky teen heroine. REALLY bad feeling about this. There is a noted correlation between the downfall of this franchise and a skinny English brunette being imposed into every movie or show.

06:45 Do people in a spaceport really look up every time a ship passes overhead? That’s a multiple-times-a-day occurrence, I’d think.

07:00 Okay, landing in the street is a whole other thing.

07:53 I really don’t want to see those disc-things on their backs in action. What’s wrong with guns? Why do we need laser Frisbees? Also, it’s super clear who the important one of this Imperial trio is.

08:25 They were looking around the street for the bar? Didn’t they know where it was? If they didn’t, that was a pretty lucky landing spot…

09:15 Maybe this won’t be stupid. The idea that Jedi can’t help getting involved explains them all getting wiped out and the ones who survive have learned the hard way not to pop out for anything. Of course, in that case, they would have started coming out of the woodwork once the Empire was gone, and rejoining the order via Luke, so Disney is undercutting their own movies with that premise.

10:16 It’s okay that this guy doesn’t get it, but for the record, it should not be the Jedi code driving them, but the responsibility they feel through the Force, because it connects them to everyone, so they can’t help but try to do right by them. Of course, in nine movies by three different creators, we never once see the behavior this guy attributes to a Jedi, but somehow their altruism has become a meme.

10:36 Wow. What a stunning twist. The woman of color is tired of the (unnaturally) white male’s blather, and cuts to the chase and gets stuff done.

10:43 I’ve learned the names of three different characters so far, exclusively through the subtitles.

11:12 What happened to “only two”? The only way I can see to fix this, is a flash-forward to all these force-wielding inquisitors getting purged by the Empire once they are no longer needed.

11:34 And at least she’s not British. Or they’re making her talk properly like they did with John Boyega. I’m fine either way.

12:32 I am inferring this is some sort of operation to process the meat of that giant carcass. I kind of like it, as world-building goes, although in the desert it should be under cover. If they can afford all that scaffolding and the rollers, they can afford something to keep the sun off. Doesn’t it occur to the people making this things, when shooting in a desert, that keeping the sun away and reducing evaporation is really important? Especially when your operation is centered around raw meat!

13:37 That boss guy looks like Abraham Benrubi. I like him.

13:58 The meat is just sitting right out there in the open! That’s not good!

14:11 So Luke is ten now. At most, he was in his early 20s in Ep IV. And Ewan McGregor still looks young enough to be Alec Guinness’ kid (even though it’s been 17 years IRL). Is he going to get hit with Force Lightning to age him up at some point?

14:50 Obi-Wan’s job is looking after Luke. How can he do that, if he needs to take public transportation to a job site? Bail Organa holds a planetary office and sufficient resources for his daughter to be a princess. He couldn’t have set up some sort of secret account for Obi-Wan’s living expenses, just so he is not distracted from his primary goal by the need to make a living? You’d think a Senator in a government as corrupt as the Republic is suggested to be would have some knowledge of such things, even if he was keeping his nose clean.

16:36 The impulse here is to give a sentimental “aww” at Obi-Wan buying a toy for young Luke. And maybe Luke is playing with it at an age when he is really too old for it, because he’s thinking of Ben, who gave it to him. But we’ve seen Solo, where they were obsessive about showing the origin of absolutely every prop associated with Han that they could think of.

Hence the bad feeling about this.

17:38 A good conflict might be if the hunt for the Jedi in the bar comes Obi-Wan’s way, and he is torn between wanting to help and not taking any chances that the Imperials might come anywhere near Luke’s trail.

18:31 Obi-Wan should not have any memories of Anakin in his piloting gear.

21:21 So much for my theory. Obi-Wan just leaves the toy all stealthy for Luke. I would have really liked this show to cover something relevant, like whatever falling out occurred to make the Larses warn Luke off from him. Even if he’s trying to not let anyone draw connections between him and the Lars family just in case he gets found, you’d think Owen & Beru would be less hostile at a mention of the man who brought their nephew home.

22:05 “…that’s a name I haven’t heard in a very long time.” Like ten years, I guess, since Nari just said it…

23:07 Looks like this is Leia, which I would normally want to see, but they’ve got me so conditioned that I wince whenever a new thing from the old movies comes up, because I figure they’re going to ruin it somehow.

24:08 If you’re going to pull a Prince and Pauper switch, you should at least use someone your own species. Also, those maids should be out of a job so fast they bounce when they hit the street.

28:48 All right, that was good.

29:50 One of two things. This Reva is supposed to be incompetent, in which case, why? Unless they have Vader to show up to clean up her mess. Or they think she’s intimidating and scary and the competent one. Right now, I am tending to agree with the guy the subtitles call Fifth Brother.

30:14 We know Owen’s not going to talk. I think this scene would be a lot more effective if he was just unnoticed and afterwards can give Ben a significant look, like “that’s why you have to stay away.”

30:32 Yeah, the vermin line was weak.

31:04 Every time she raises her voice, she sounds desperate, like she’s overcompensating. She does not at all seem in control of this situation. When she yelled “all we want is information” she sounded plaintive. And now she’s just made a threat she’ll have to carry out, engendering additional unnecessary hostility (as well as letting the Jedi know the inquisitors are going to the Lars farm soon, and be able to set an ambush) by threatening someone who evinces contempt for the Jedi. She has maimed an adversary and threatens someone who was not being threatened, and show contempt for their enemy. The message she is sending to the crowd is that there is no way to win with her. That she is constantly bucking her superior and other colleague only makes it worse.

31:38 Also, tension-wise, it’s bullshit, because we know how Owen dies, and we also are pretty damn sure that Obi-Wan would shred Reva and her two buddies without breaking a sweat. Are we supposed to believe that these Johnny-come-latelies are anywhere near the capabilities of Darth Maul or General Grievous or Darth Vader at his peak?

33:11 Is he possibly going to respond to the thank you with any line other than “I didn’t do it for you”?

33:20 I so wanted to be wrong. Is there any sort of editing process, by which someone throws the script back at the screenwriter and tells him “If I want what every other script in the history of ever says, I’ll copy them and not pay you!” See also, the exchanges between Reva and Fifth Brother “We can’t find him/Maybe we’re looking in the wrong place” and the so stale even the birds won’t eat it “You go too far/You don’t go far enough”. Someone got paid to write this poodu.

33:40 Is Jimmy Smit coming home? He’s always good, even in bad parts (Season 3 of Dexter, I’m looking at you).

34:01 Yay!

34:36 Okay, they are not over-using or abusing the spunky princess thing. She’s doing her job, despite her mischievous side. Much better than the princess in The Witcher.

35:30 Aaaand we’re back to predictable dialogue. Also, droids are not life forms, full stop. Forget higher or lower, which would have been a better comeback. Both slightly more original, and able to be made without stooping to his level.

36:43 I’d like to think they’re correcting Leia, but I am also afraid the narrative is parental oppression, rather than the struggles of coping with her situation. And denigrating the relationship of Beha & Bail to their daughter should definitely have his parents groveling, since, per Leia’s slightly-too-precocious insight, he probably heard it from them.

37:05 Also, two scenes so far of Leia, and only a dialogue-free long distance shot of Luke. Who is far more important to the title character. And, you know, the whole saga. OTOH, Jimmy Smit, so, okay.

39:18 Do not expect me to take seriously an antagonist who cannot box in a ten-year-old, with two surprise helpers. This better be a security drill, although since the subtitles say his name is Vect, which is the sort of name one picks for the king of the evil space elves, I doubt it.

39:29 They are running bow-legged to hide that they are not catching up to a ten-year-old!

39:44 Tree branches are thwarting them! This better be a lesson about staying inside because of danger in the forest, but even there, getting snatched up, a bag on your head and tossed into a truck would teach that lesson even better, IMO.

39:53 The yellow one is seriously inept.

40:11 These guys make the ones in Ransom of Red Chief look like a Delta Force snatch team.

40:54 The broke-ass sand farmers do a better job protecting their charge than you two, with your royal security budget. Also, all the lip service paid to efforts to keep her relatively hidden and out of the public eye, but you’re still grooming her for the Senate.

41:14 Obi-Wan might be the only one who knows how important Leia really is, but I kind of think a bounty hunter wouldn’t need to know that if you offer enough of a reward.

41:24 Leia might be as important as Luke, except we saw the movies, so no, but Leia has a royal family and their security assets and funds to protect and retrieve her, and Luke only has Obi-Wan. If this is a two-fer op, Obi-Wan is better off staying right where he is.

41:44 A Jedi’s strength and skill come from the Force, not from contacts or sword practice or time in the gym. Obi-Wan was directed to continue his training in his exile and there is nothing to stop him from meditating and becoming closer to the Force. Now, it COULD be that his inner turmoil, as shown by his nightmares, is what has eroded his ability, but I’ve been burned too many times.

And if he’s not what he was, then how is he supposed to protect Luke?

41:58 The subtitles just revealed that it’s a mercenary holding Leia, so that’s one mystery sort of cleared up.

42:05 If she’s sealed in a cell with space-age locking technology, why tie her to a chair.

42:08 The fact that Leia’s been snatched is why Obi-Wan should not be going to work. This is really just such a bad setup.

42:19 I wonder if that chunk of meat is part of his take-home pay. I don’t see anyone else doing it, but he’s not at all stealthy for someone smuggling it out. I kept thinking he was going to get in trouble, but it just seems to be representative of his daily grind.

42:50 This is kind of pointless. No one cares about Nari, we know he’s not going to play a big role in the grand scheme of things and nothing about his death changes anything for Obi-Wan. The circumstances impelling him to stay near Luke to protect him are exactly the same. This is not some new crime for the Empire, it’s a drop in the bucket of things done to the Jedi. At most, this should be a relief that hopeless the inquisitors have left. Unless Reva decides to pay a spite trip to the Lars farm.

43:09 They are probably going to have a scene at some point where the eopie gets killed to explain why it’s not in A New Hope.

43:54 REALLY BAIL! You should have people for this! How far out of the way is Tatooine from Alderaan?

44:08 Name two of his mistakes, Bail. Aside from his self-recriminations about failing Anakin by not being a good enough teacher (and those are just him blaming himself excessively; if Anakin was doomed by Obi-Wan’s teaching or predestined to fall to the Dark Side and thus should not have been taught, then there really is no point to his story, ergo, he is the one most to blame for his fall), none of this is Obi-Wan’s fault.

44:47 Might have guessed she smuggled her merchandising gimmick droid along. Because those kidnappers were so inept it’s unfortunately believable that they never searched her. What if her parents had some sort of tracker on her? Or a weapon she was too scared to use? Also, what is the time frame here? She’s still in her cell, and meanwhile, Bail has gone to Tatooine?

45:30 Oooh, sorry Leia. About that army your dad will send…

45:49 Are Obi-Wan and Bail not leaving together? How did Bail get to that cave? Where’s his eopie? Or did he have a more practical form of transport and he’s simply not giving Obi-Wan a ride on it?

46:10 Is this where he buried his lightsaber, like he told Nari to do? Bail can’t be allowed to see the place?

47:34 “Hunt themselves” is fairly lame, as catchphrases go. And the knowledge that Leia is bait in a trap also does not make the Organas any smarter, nor cause much worry, since we know he’s going to get her back just fine and even if we didn’t, this unhinged lunatic Reva isn’t any more scary than her inept henchmen.

Part II
00:08 There’s a recap, as if there was crucial content that might be hard to remember for the small number of people watching these two episodes at different times.

00:30 Why would a kid from a culture where space ships are common place, straddle the roof of a doorway to pretend to be a pilot? Wouldn’t he want to get inside something to simulate a cockpit? It’s a ship, not a horsie.

00:37 It just occurred to me, if Obi-Wan is, and has been, intending to train Luke “when the time comes” why has he not been keeping himself in fighting trim? Also, when is that time? According to common practice, it should have started when he was a small child. Anakin was canonically nine, a year younger than Luke is now, and he was too old. If Obi-Wan is determined to avoid making the mistake he did with Vader, I’d think he’d want to get on the training even younger. Then again, why bother sending him to family, unless Yoda, at the least, had decided the old ways were not working out (exhibit A being the recent failure of most of them to survive a coup). But still, what would be Obi-Wan’s right time, in either case?

01:00 Three guards spread out looking for a 10-year-old VIP in the woods. They should have been coordinating their search by radio and making routine check-ins. As soon as one had eyes on Leia, he should have been alerting the others, and especially have a distress code at the ready when Leia called for help. The Atreides would have been all over that shit.

01:12 Also, in hindsight, what was the whole point of Obi-Wan’s protestations and objections to helping look for Leia, if he was just going to go anyway? None of the reasons why he might have refused changed over the course of the episode. He just said no, until Bail hit on the right meaningless phrase to make him say yes. How would it have detracted from the story for him to get the Organas’ call and respond with “I’m on my way!” and run from the cave, calling his lightsaber to hand from a much more conveniently close hiding spot, without a pause. And maybe we could get a quick scene of him stopping by Luke’s place to drop a line to Owen that there’s an emergency, keep a close eye on the boy, here’s my contact info, let me know the instant there’s trouble. And then part 2 can go as planned. Even if that planning includes some instances of failure because he’s really kind of OP for the threat as established to this point, you could cover that with an aside like “I’m out of practice,” when his first action scene doesn’t go his way.

01:23 Wonder what he did with the eopie.

01:43 Having that Mandalorian blacksmith in with all the iconic Star Wars helmets and droids is kind of silly.

03:13 The Resistance should have hidden in Daiku in Last Jedi. Really get around that tracking issue…

03:19 You know it’s a rough neighborhood when you see two people shoving one another in the street!

03:33 ARE YOU SHITTING ME?!?

03:43 Oh, right. Clones. Temeura Morrison in a dark wig & beard. But why? Was he hanging around the studio shooting a Mando show?

04:56 Why does every planet in the galaxy have the same drug? At least when Lucas was in charge, there were alternatives like death sticks.

05:10 It would be hilarious if Obi-Wan bribed the kid with the freebie drugs he was just given.

05:36 The dramatic reveal of Kumail Nanjani suggests we should know him.

5:56 So, clearly a fake.

07:24 Is he going to be a comic sidekick? I’m kind of hoping not.

10:14 That was a fairly competent infiltration of a drug lab, and what I’d expect, given he has the Force.

10:57 The drug dealers actually know where Leia is? Or is it going to be another kid and a whole SJW lesson that there are lots of kids who could use a Jedi’s help, not just the special rich ones.

11:11 Okay, apparently the drug dealer DOES know, but how did these guys suddenly get good enough to take down a grown man?

11:45 This is worse than the Whitecloaks and Aes Sedai on the last show I did this for.

12:15 Chekov’s drug sample.

12:56 “Where’s the army?” Ten-year-old Leia was much better at asking pertinent questions when a rescuer comes into her cell. I guess going into politics makes you dumber.

13:29 Leia, you really have to take the army issue up with your parents when you get home. You’re so right.

14:19 Is Reva one of the Jedi kids fleeing in the beginning, I wonder? That seemed like a lot of set-up for Nari.

14:32 This Leia is so much better at being rescued!

15:33 This is supposed to be all classist and get us on Reva’s side, somehow, but she really sucks. I haven’t seen anything to suggest she deserves anything other than their disdain. She might have been right about luring Obi-Wan out with Bail’s daughter, but she was unable to prove anything, with no witnesses but three drug-addled goons, and frankly, expecting them to hold a Jedi is rather mind-bogglingly stupid on its own, never mind that crossing a Senator creates political problems.

16:03 What, in Reva’s on-screen history to date, suggests she will follow an order like that without supervision?

16:23 How is the news spreading across the whole planet supposed to evade the notice of Reva’s superiors, and how is she going to enforce the order to only report to her?

16:41 Even worse that what we have so far, is the thought that Reva might turn good.

17:44 You don’t have the same accent! How are you supposed to pass for father and daughter?

18:11 Oh look! It’s a bounty hunter from that scene in Empire that they forgot to put in “The Mandalorian!”

20:25 Okay, I was premature again. At least they aren’t as inept as the Mandalorian shows at this sort of thing.

20:35 Except, I keep getting the vibe that Reva is supposed to be this dangerous, irrepressible wild card, and all I see is a consistent portrayal of someone with promise and talent who keeps failing at anything like competent execution and we’re supposed to be scoffing at the characters who realize this.

22:14 That’s a pretty huge leap, no matter how precocious she is supposed to be. Also, her reaction is super dumb. This is coming across like Obi-Wan goofed by trying to treat her like a dumb kid, but this reaction is shortsighted and stupid too. Like, what better options does she have? He DID get her out of the cell.

24:26 And now we’re supposed to believe that this crime-ridden city only has a single gun fight taking place at a certain time? Also, Obi-Wan going through the clothes brings to mind the kidnappers’ issues with branches.

25:34 I feel like some of Reva’s moves resemble the sidekick lady in Boba Fett, where they both like to swing on vertical poles when they really don’t need it.

25:45 I notice Haja didn’t join in the shooting gallery. I guess he’s going to be on their side.

26:28 How did he think he was going to train Luke?

27:25 Comic sidekick it is.

28:37 Okay, maybe the problem with Reva is in their training program. How is this supposed to be effective? The guy is already getting paid by your side! He would assume he is getting money to come up with an answer.

28:53 Reva just comes across like a discount Batman. She should be so much more impressive when you consider she’s got the Force

29:02 You ever notice that the Sith never used mind powers to extract specific information before Disney took over?

30:56 I was a little afraid Obi-Wan was about to tell Leia that the woman he was thinking of was very beautiful and kind but also sad…

31:09 Don’t worry, it’s just Reva.

32:28 This is ridiculous. She can sense and intuit the exact nature of Obi-Wan’s surprise, when Vader needed a lot more interaction and familiarity with Luke, as well as a possible boost from their kinship to pick up on Luke’s sister issues. Why would she even think this? There is no reason for her to know the backstory of what passed between Obi-Wan and Vader and why the former might think the latter dead.

32:44 Why does she know his real name?!?!

33:47 Just shut up Reva. You suck. You’ve coasted this far on authorial fiat. All your monkey skills and you can’t even jump aboard a ship that hasn’t even lifted off yet?

33:59 He can’t hear you. Lucky bastard.

34:53 Was that supposed to be dramatic? We know he’s alive.

That wasn't too awful, but there is a reason George Lucas did not feel the need to cover this period in his movies. It also does not make a lot of sense for Obi-Wan to run around the galaxy having adventures. Having Obi-Wan state that does not fix the issues relating to the larger story when he goes and does it anyway. The incredibly inept villain Reva is made somewhat tolerable by the prospect that she's just a warm-up for Vader. But now we have to worry how they are going to handle him. Unlike the rest of the universe it seems, I was not thrilled with how they did it in Rogue One. First of all, his voice sounded thin, because it has been almost 40 years since James Earl Jones undertook the role, and he aged, and making puns didn't feel very in character. The epic scene of his hacking his way through rebel troops felt gratuitous and merely there for its own sake, not because it had anything to do with the rest of the movie, and some of his moves seemed like he was wasting time to look cool, instead of get to his target as fast as possible.

Now, I feel that the dialogue in Episode IV does not entirely preclude Obi-Wan encountering Vader between their two on-film sword fights, but it also feels like it would be hard to put them into their starting places on the board for Episode IV, if they run into each other again on the show. And there are so many ways they could mess this up. They made Boba Fett utterly ridiculous on his show.

Another worrying issue is the potential pandering to the Cult of Leia. She was a cool character, but not particularly notable in her contributions to the plot or demonstrating much in the way of skills. She arguably makes a lot of bad decisions or arguments in the films, and my headcanon is that no one answers the Resistance's call for help at the battle of Krayte, because they did not want to be led by Leia into a figurative (or literal) trash compactor, but once Lando was able to reassure people that he was in charge now, they came in force to Exogal.

And now she's ten. I can accept that noble children, especially in a high tech society, can be trained in all sorts of skills in preparation for assumed leadership roles and possible dangers. It's one thing for Leia to notice her cousin's practice of aping his father, another to extrapolate that he'll be a failure in life (actually if your parents are rich or powerful, aping them and appropriating their opinions and positions can be a rather successful strategy for coasting through life). It also seems like that's to set up her running away from Obi-Wan to manufacture action scenes. And I suppose you can put it down to a failure in judgment, because she's ten. I just hope the narrative keeps on that course, rather than turning her into some sort of savant at discerning intentions and trustworthiness (let's remember that in another decade or so, she's going to ignore the fact that a friend of Han & Chewie who only betrayed them at gun point, has just freed them from captivity and taken several stormtroopers prisoner and removed their handcuffs, and encourage Chewbacca critically delay Han's rescue to pointlessly choke him). So far, the portrayal of Leia is rather consistent, but like with Reva, I am not yet sold on the notion that the show is doing this on purpose.

So we shall see.