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Obi-Wan Kenobi Episode V Cannoli Send a noteboard - 16/06/2022 01:55:47 AM

01:24 It would hilarious if Obi-Wan were to quickly ditch Leia back in Alderaan and then head back to Tatooine, they track Lola to Alderaan, and no Kenobi. Reva’s whole premise on which she had Leia abducted was that there was a connection between Bai & Obi-Wan so Obi-Wan was the natural choice to recover Bails’ daughter. Even though that’s stupid and it only worked like that because Bail is an idiot and also Leia’s secret paternity. So she’s only been as successful as she has, because things she does not know make her stupid projection correct, but here, she is assuming, for no reason, that Leia will be staying with Obi-Wan for the time being, when based on the assumption by which Reva took her, he should be getting her back to her family ASAP.

02:18 Nope. Hayden Christensen got waaay too old for this flashback.

03:25 Why did they go on to Jabiim? Everything that happened before should have indicated the network is compromised. Leia was just bait for Obi-Wan, they don’t need to hide her, they should have just beat feet to Alderaan! Where her parents have political power and can protect Indira Varma, discount Rose Tico & Ice Cube while helping them get new IDs or sneaking off once it is safe. Why is the show so bad at operational planning and security?

04:22 That looks like Wade, the pilot who got killed in the extraction from “Fortress Inquisitorious.”

04:28 It really does looke like Wade.

04:49 Why did they let this scam artist know about their Jedi Underground Railroad (before his run-in with “scary inquisitor lady”, I mean, since he was the one who gave Obi-Wan the way in) ? If he was part of it, why was he endangering the whole thing by pretending to be a Jedi and drawing attention?

05:05 Ice Cube’s actual name is Roken, for the record. If I can’t remember, I’m just going to keep calling him Ice Cube. I’ve already forgotten Indira Varma’s & discount Rose Tico’s character names.

05:19 The window on the trade route is closing and they held it for Obi-Wan and Leia, but they only have a few more hours. What even is this word salad? Trade routes aren’t windows. They are an abstract thing, a way to utilize extant pathways and stopping places to get merchandise where you need to. It’s not a physical thing, like a vessel.

06:10 Lola had a blue eye or head light or whatever it was, on Alderaan. Now that it is working for Reva, it’s red. This show is playing stupidity limbo.

06:31 They are still leaving incriminating graffiti in their hideouts. It wasn’t just the idiots running the safe house on Not-Tatooine #5, they let them do it in the major hub of their operation.

07:31 Lola is a lot more effective with Sith programming.

10:54 Reva’s actress has a horrible voice for the role. When she wants to make declarations, it’s too soft, when she wants to be menacing or commanding, she’s shrill.

11:22 Oh, you can look in the vents. We’ve manufactured a reason for Leia to contribute. Whee.

12:21 FUCKING HELL! How are you so STUPID, Bail!?!?! Comm discipline is important, which Indira Varma discovered when Obi-Wan called her at an inopportune time last episode. “We said no communication, but your silence worries me.” Silence is exactly what you should expect if you have agreed to not communicate!

12:34 Oh, great. Not enough he is risking their security with a contrary-to-protocol call, now he’s going to butt in on the Larses on Tatooine, bringing more attention to Luke!

14:01 Would it be too much for a TV character to do the right thing because it’s the right thing to do, instead of needing to personally see a massacre to know that bad guys are bad? Keeping notches is stupid too. One saved is worthwhile on its own. The number doesn’t matter. It does not bring the dead people back to life, it does not make you a better person. Helping is good, not helping is bad, and results are irrelevant to right and wrong.

15:26 “If this is you stalling for time, it won’t work.” It is literally working right now, because you are talking to him, and not actively making progress on the door!

17:41 “You’re not serving him…you’re hunting hm.” This is such a bullshit twist. And it does not fix Reva, although it explains her obsession with finding Obi-Wan. She’s still incompetent and clumsy in ways that cannot be excused as undermining the other Inquisitors and helping the people she hunts escape.

18:00 This is a ridiculous rebuke. Anakin was no longer a Padawan, he was even on the Council, and Obi-Wan was being attacked by his own troops on Utapau at the time. This is the complaint of a child, or else the show’s ham-fisted attempt to say that as his mentor, Obi-Wan is partly to blame for Vader’s crimes.

19:23 First of all, why didn’t Reva use her lightsaber from the start. Secondly, these refugees gave a better account of themselves than the troops on Leia’s ship in the movie. All this is doing is making the stormtroopers look inexplicably incompetent. Reva, too, if she can’t protect her troops the way Obi-Wan is.

19:48 There actually being controls in a place too small for any but a child to access is giving me Snowpiercer vibes.

20:21 This nonsense of Indira Varma just pushing stormtroopers around does not make her look like a badass, it makes them look like they’re taking a dive because the script says so.

20:35 Indira Varma is Tala.

20:40 Why did the first troopers try to just walk past the loading droid so it could punch them? Why is it not already blow to smithereens?

21:11 It would be hilarious if the loading droid pinned her down when it finally collapsed.

21:48 Pretty sure those would work just as well if you threw instead of held it. Why were they A. not using more of those, and B. not getting them hucked their way by the stormtroopers? Explosives are great in tight quarters. Grenades were reinvented in the 20th century precisely for this reason.

22:11 Obi-Wan’s grief over Tala does not feel earned, and also rather unwonted from Jedi who divorce themselves from attachment precisely so they can serve the greater good, instead of being too invested in a particular individual that they lose a sense of proportion.

23:10 It might be a good thing if Obi-Wan can actually play on their relationship so that he can take advantage of Anakin‘s perceptions of him. But giving up his weapons makes me worried they are more concerned with servicing the line “Obi-Wan once thought as you did,” and forgetting “When I left you, I was but the learner, now I am the master.”

23:44 Why were no stormtroopers guarding that door? Why were they not ready to stop an attack coming out? Just because Vader told them not to continue breaking in, is no reason to completely throw out basic security procedures.

Oh, wait. I forgot what show I am watching.

25:35 Obi-Wan setting Vader up for a backstab from his subordinate does not feel like the Jedi way. It’s too much like defeating evil with evil, which is not possible. Jedi use the Force for knowledge and defense, not attack.

25:59 Why is Vader coming to the planet, instead of having Obi-Wan brought up to him?

27:21 Your droid is a Sith tool now, Leia! Can’t you see the red?

27:40 Obi-Wan doesn’t look secured. Reva might be in trouble, and I fail to see how this helps give her a crack at Vader.

28:07 Why were they not already in the ships, if they were trying to get the hanger door open, and there was nowhere to run, groundside? General Reikan with his understanding of security issues and ability to organize ahead of time, is the true hero of the anti-Imperial movement, by bringing those skills that were otherwise utterly lacking to the cause.

28:18 Why were you shaking your head regretfully if “everything’s all set” Ice Cube?

28:42 Haja dropped the comm doohickey. Are they going to trace Bail’s call?

28:57 Vader is stopping a ship from taking off. One that seems rather larger than the Millennium Falcon. So what happened on Hoth?

29:27 Okay, what was the plan if Vader did NOT stop the decoy ship and drag it back to earth? How was the real ship planning on getting away? For that matter, why didn’t Vader stop the real ship, since he had eyes on it as it lit up?

30:12 Hope you learned something from all of this, Vader. Now do us a favor and choke out your new Grand Inquisitor, like you do so many other people for so much less.

30:27 Imma enjoy this, I hope.

31:22 THAT is why the Inquisitors wear that disc on their backs, so they can make lightsaber propellers?

31:44 I’m enjoying Vader toying with her, but I really hope this does not go the route of Sanguinius’ wounding Horus to help bring about his final defeat.

33:22 Okay, while I love the dumping on Reva, how was her rage useful?

33:36 Please don’t let this be some sort of redemption arc, where she gets to get revenge down the road, because they let her live.

34:00 Okay, if they “knew all along” what was the play here? Why go through all of this just to set her up? Vader pretty much seems to have carte blanche to kill any and all Imperial personnel he wants for any reason. The knowledge that one of his Inquisitors is a former Jedi pupil with a vendetta against him seems better than most reasons why he kills his subordinates in the movies. The fact that Obi-Wan has escaped does not seem of any interest to Vader, next to setting up his Grand Inquisitor to pwn an incompetent underling.

34:24 You suck, Ice Cube. You were clearly made for this show. I wonder if Vader somehow had the hyperdrive disabled ahead of time? Even this show can’t be that dumb…

34:37 There, you can go to space Valhalla. Now just die already.

35:09 Not idly do the communicators of Alderaan fall.

35:29 I don’t think the Death Star blew up Alderaan. I think Bail Organa invented a planetary defense device, that he turned on when he saw the Death Star parked in the system, and that is what destroyed the planet, in keeping with the epic level of Fail! he demonstrates on this show. Also, if you’re being covert, Obi-Wan, clear your device’s memory cache every time you hang up.

36:23 Look at Li’l Luke, sleeping so innocently, never dreaming that a massively incompetent, abdominally ventilated ex-Inquisitor is coming for him. In his position, I would sleep soundly, too.


There are cartoon parodies that are a better representation of Star Wars than these shows. Because they are made by people with both demonstrated skill and talent and the intellectual capacity to understand the source material. I have zero confidence Deborah Chow or the writers have those things.

Cannoli
“Tolerance is the virtue of the man without convictions.” GK Chesteron
Inde muagdhe Aes Sedai misain ye!
Deus Vult!
*MySmiley*
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Obi-Wan Kenobi Episode V - 16/06/2022 01:55:47 AM 37 Views
stalling won't work - 16/06/2022 04:12:19 AM 13 Views

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