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In hindsight, creativity really just shit the bed this last decade Cannoli Send a noteboard - 08/02/2023 12:51:38 AM

Back in the summer of 2011, while waiting for the conclusion to Wheel of Time, I posted a fairly lame and poorly written series of hypothetical endings based on the final installments or conclusions to 10 Sci-Fi films or TV shows.

They were
Return of the Jedi
Terminator TV show
Terminator: Salvation (the one with Christian Bale)
Lord of the Rings
Star Trek TNG
Star Trek VI
Predator 2
Indian Jones 4
Matrix 3

Since then, Hollywood has produced
A Star Wars sequel trilogy & two Star Wars TV shows set after RotJ that force the Ewoks up into a "Best Things about Star Wars" list by producing so much that was even worse.

Two Terminator movies even WORSE than Salvation, whose overuse of CGI makes the fake Schwarzenegger robots seem restrained by comparison.

A Hobbit trilogy that was about two and a half movies too long and a streaming show that makes the Hobbit look like a faithful homage to the spirit of Tolkien and less like a naked cash grab by comparison

A sequel show to TNG that deliberately sets out to re-contextualize Picard as a bad guy, and, I am given to understand, a show that uses time travel to retcon a number of events in Star Wars history as the work of the show's own hero.

A reboot of the original Star Trek cast in a trilogy of nonsense adventure movies retaining none of the ideas or spirit of Star Trek (and which appalled me, to whom the space opera action was always more of an appeal that Roddenberry's politics), and jamming Leonard Nimoy into two of them just to attach them to the original continuity as well.

Three Predator movies and two crossovers with the Alien franchise, all of which made Gary Busey and Bill Paxton no longer the worst things about the franchise in the same way Disney retroactively improved the Ewoks and Amazon improved the Barrel-Ride-Elf-Parkour-Adventure scene.

A forthcoming Indiana Jones movie where he yanks the torch back from his son by his first love interest and instead will almost certainly pass it to his butterface "goddaughter" played by a woman whose last appearance in a Kathleen Kennedy production was the first flop in Star Wars history (or since the Christmas special, which I have not seen in its entirety so it does not exist).

A fourth Matrix film which had so much commentary about unnecessary sequels and corporate profit mandates that I was checking the credits for something that could possibly code for "Please send the police, I am being held hostage - Ms. Wachiowsky."

"Lost" has not been revisited, despite many many attempts to cash in by casting some of its actors in high concept genre shows.

As source material for my endings property, I randomly selected ten series endings, nine of which have been undone by Hollywood before my post turns 12 years old.

I feel like the Onion writer who, back in the 90s, wrote what he thought was a hyperbolic parody announcing the hilariously improbable introduction of a four-bladed razor.

Cannoli
“Tolerance is the virtue of the man without convictions.” GK Chesteron
Inde muagdhe Aes Sedai misain ye!
Deus Vult!
*MySmiley*
Original post. It has not aged well. Part is on me, but also Hollywood
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In hindsight, creativity really just shit the bed this last decade - 08/02/2023 12:51:38 AM 236 Views
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