Ok, I see your point, but only slightly. There's been a lot of male Forsaken that could have been deemed as 'failure' even before they died. I dont recall when SH showed up, but surely Sammael and Aginor could have been seen as 'failing' or worse in Asmodean's case and I would definitely say Ishamael has failed as badly as the women and who knows how many failures Demandred had, yet none of those men are getting ass raped by Shaidar Haran.

I'm sure the idea of raping woman seems more socially acceptable at least to him than raping a man, which he would see as too deplorable. Almost surely a double standard since he (both of them) are men.