The flows are controlled by the sul'dam, even if (highly unusually) all the Power comes from the damane. But the Aes Sedai damane is prevented from forming any flow that violates the Oaths, so she is useless in battle unless a way around the Oaths can be found.

I'm pretty certain Jordan has commented on the same being true of any ordinary (i.e. voluntary) circle. The leader (Aes Sedai, Wise One, Windfinder, Ashaman, whatever) cannot draw power for a weave that violates an Oath.