i think maybe you are taking two things out of context. Min is responsible for the dead forever comment. She is not a channeler and she may simply not fully understand the concept. Though her actual definition fits what we know. As for Nynaeve's "burned out of existence" comment it is a little harder to explain but they just felt existence wobble it's quite possible that the reason balefire was outlawed is the reason Nynaeve made such an irrational statement. By burning people with balefire he threatens existence and so that is somewhat a true statement. The means of their deaths threaten existence and therefore their return to existence. Of course the simpler explaination is that existence simply means life and that Nynaeve's anger over the massacre and the method were separate if concurrent. When i read it I never questioned the facts as issued by RJ . So the last possibility is that Sanderson misspoke. Personally i'm going to go with the Nynaeve comment of existence having more to do with the massacre and the balefire only a more practical horror. I think you're just being word sensitive.