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Bitchings of an old man (WARNING: Not for the weakhearted) Bad Ash - 23/01/2003 02:56:18 PM

I'm bitter and annoyed today. It isn't because I'm sleep deprived due to work and parental repsponsibilities. And it isn't even because I'm battling a flu/cold and still cannot afford to call in sick.

No, I'm bitter and annoyed today because I'm getting old.

'Hogwash', you elderly folk such as Druid and damookster say. 'At 27 you are a strapping young buck.' Ah, but in the course of the past two days certain things have occured that make it obvious that I am succumbing to the slippery slope that is old age.

First off, I have had some...issues...with the ole poop chute. Yeah, aren't you glad you opened this thread. Well, anywho, I went to the doctor and (Yay!) I have hemorrhoids. Woohoo! Nothing says fun like that itchy, burning, bleeding sensation. I was prescribed two things to combat their effects. One, and might I point out that this is awful, is a fiber supplement. Two, and as a straight man I might hasten to expound that this is about as exquisite a hell as imaginable, I need to spend three weeks taking hydrocortisone suppositories every evening before bed (or morning, as I work nights). Joy.

Pissed off about this turn of events, I go home and in an utter youthful act of defiance Bic my head once again. Well, maybe it's an aged act of defiance, because when my head is shaved you can't see the gray hairs. I then shave my face, leaving no hair on my head except my perfectly manicured goatee.

And the caterpillars growing out of my ears that I've been ignoring for so long.

So yes, for the first time in my life I admitted that I have an ear hair problem and trimmed them. Excellent.

So I'm feeling bitter and old today. I've already complained about my ass and ears, and if you aren't careful, I may kvetch about every ache and pain I can conjure before this day is through.

Bad Ash

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Bitchings of an old man (WARNING: Not for the weakhearted) - 23/01/2003 02:56:18 PM 267 Views
I hate being 17. - 23/01/2003 03:01:00 PM 47 Views
take my word for's a very bad trade - 23/01/2003 03:42:49 PM 26 Views
You know not what you say. *NM* - 23/01/2003 05:44:05 PM 3 Views
Sounds like a fun time you're having. - 23/01/2003 03:01:27 PM 22 Views
*NM* - 23/01/2003 03:06:07 PM 2 Views
Ugh, suppositories *shudders* *NM* - 23/01/2003 03:02:39 PM 2 Views
Sweet. - 23/01/2003 03:06:32 PM 36 Views
You suck - 23/01/2003 03:07:57 PM 30 Views
Suffering makes us stronger, Mashadarman *NM* - 23/01/2003 04:26:06 PM 4 Views
From my most favoritest philosopher ever: - 23/01/2003 06:36:59 PM 14 Views
Here's a better quote, different book - 23/01/2003 06:39:16 PM 12 Views
I feel your pain and share that slippery slope, my man. - 23/01/2003 03:08:44 PM 29 Views
Re: Monobrow - 23/01/2003 03:13:44 PM 17 Views
TMI ..... - 23/01/2003 03:08:58 PM 44 Views
I hate you - 23/01/2003 03:11:36 PM 36 Views
Re: I hate you - 23/01/2003 03:34:19 PM 37 Views
You know... - 23/01/2003 05:30:47 PM 28 Views
And? - 23/01/2003 06:06:20 PM 24 Views
Say, i got your christmas card... - 23/01/2003 03:27:34 PM 18 Views
You need TP for your bunghole! Well, soft TP, that is. - 23/01/2003 03:33:45 PM 16 Views
True Power? *NM* - 23/01/2003 03:34:56 PM 2 Views
That should do the trick - 23/01/2003 03:36:09 PM 11 Views
you already have the flames...... *NM* - 23/01/2003 03:38:43 PM 3 Views
Indeed... *NM* - 23/01/2003 03:40:04 PM 2 Views
I'm older - 23/01/2003 04:14:45 PM 23 Views
Yes young Grasshopper... it only gets worse... - 23/01/2003 05:51:54 PM 19 Views
33 years old... - 23/01/2003 06:37:18 PM 10 Views
Hmmm... 10 years yet - 23/01/2003 07:18:00 PM 7 Views
Buy Tucks, get rid of the suppositories. Tucks work very well. *NM* - 23/01/2003 10:17:17 PM 1 Views
ahahaha, you're old. - 23/01/2003 10:25:16 PM 8 Views
I'm older. - 24/01/2003 12:07:43 AM 11 Views
You know what will fix you right up - 24/01/2003 04:47:01 AM 10 Views
*points and laughs* - 24/01/2003 06:15:48 AM 9 Views
Jeez have you got lots to look forward to - 27/01/2003 10:59:36 PM 8 Views