And seeing how my son was arrested this weekend for possession I really can't claim to be an ideal dad but I found a lot of parenting of older children really amounted to setting boundaries, trying to nudge them in the right direction and being the best role model you can be. It is true that if you make a book off limits you are just encouraging them to read it on the sly but even that accomplishes the goal of letting them know you don't approve. Knowing it is forbidden might make it more titillating but I think it also lets them know it isn't normal behavior.

There is a better way than just out right forbidding it though. What I tried to do with my boys and what I do with my daughter is only flat out ban things when I have no choice. Instead I try and educate myself about what they are reading and watching and then try and steer them towards books or shows that present these issues in a more productive and responsible manner. Of course what I found was that books were almost never the problem TV and movies were. I don't think I ever worried about what my boys were reading but they were mostly reading mainstream genre stuff like Harry Potter and Dragon Lance. In their early teens I spent a lot of time fighting them on what they watched. I know they still went to their friends house and watched American Pie and shows like that but they did it know I didn't approve. I really don't know if that mattered but it was the best I could do and at least taught them to stick to their values even if it won't change the outcome. If you are going to fail anyways you might as well do it with your values intact.

It is important to be as aware as possible to your kids influences and educate yourself on what they consuming. Articles like this can at least show areas you might want to be looking at that you were not aware of. A lot parents will assume that books marketed to young readers are normally screened by the publisher to be appropriate for young readers. Article like this serve to point out that isn't always true even if it did fail to point towards modern YA books that you may want to give your kids.n I do agree that you need to look themes and messages not just the language or if they describe sex. Dealing homosexuality isn't a prob;em both if they main character blows strangers at truck stops there might be a problem. No problem with the protagonist being a pregnant teen but it would better if the consequences are presented honestly and both parents and the kids handle the situation it a proper manner. It doesn't matter that isn't how it always plays out it shows them what the goal would be. I would have no problem with my eleven year old watching a show like Juno but I wouldn't want them reading some the books described. I have no problem with a book describing sex but I don't want it slipping into erotica. I have no delusions that my kid will not read such things but I think it is better if I am not the one supplying it.