it does take a lot of work to keep track of your kids
random thoughts Send a noteboard - 07/06/2011 05:02:55 AM
And seeing how my son was arrested this weekend for possession I really can't claim to be an ideal dad
but I found a lot of parenting of older children really amounted to setting boundaries, trying to nudge them in the right direction and being the best role model you can be. It is true that if you make a book off limits you are just encouraging them to read it on the sly but even that accomplishes the goal of letting them know you don't approve. Knowing it is forbidden might make it more titillating but I think it also lets them know it isn't normal behavior.
There is a better way than just out right forbidding it though. What I tried to do with my boys and what I do with my daughter is only flat out ban things when I have no choice. Instead I try and educate myself about what they are reading and watching and then try and steer them towards books or shows that present these issues in a more productive and responsible manner. Of course what I found was that books were almost never the problem TV and movies were. I don't think I ever worried about what my boys were reading but they were mostly reading mainstream genre stuff like Harry Potter and Dragon Lance. In their early teens I spent a lot of time fighting them on what they watched. I know they still went to their friends house and watched American Pie and shows like that but they did it know I didn't approve. I really don't know if that mattered but it was the best I could do and at least taught them to stick to their values even if it won't change the outcome. If you are going to fail anyways you might as well do it with your values intact.
It is important to be as aware as possible to your kids influences and educate yourself on what they consuming. Articles like this can at least show areas you might want to be looking at that you were not aware of. A lot parents will assume that books marketed to young readers are normally screened by the publisher to be appropriate for young readers. Article like this serve to point out that isn't always true even if it did fail to point towards modern YA books that you may want to give your kids.n I do agree that you need to look themes and messages not just the language or if they describe sex. Dealing homosexuality isn't a prob;em both if they main character blows strangers at truck stops there might be a problem. No problem with the protagonist being a pregnant teen but it would better if the consequences are presented honestly and both parents and the kids handle the situation it a proper manner. It doesn't matter that isn't how it always plays out it shows them what the goal would be. I would have no problem with my eleven year old watching a show like Juno but I wouldn't want them reading some the books described. I have no problem with a book describing sex but I don't want it slipping into erotica. I have no delusions that my kid will not read such things but I think it is better if I am not the one supplying it.

There is a better way than just out right forbidding it though. What I tried to do with my boys and what I do with my daughter is only flat out ban things when I have no choice. Instead I try and educate myself about what they are reading and watching and then try and steer them towards books or shows that present these issues in a more productive and responsible manner. Of course what I found was that books were almost never the problem TV and movies were. I don't think I ever worried about what my boys were reading but they were mostly reading mainstream genre stuff like Harry Potter and Dragon Lance. In their early teens I spent a lot of time fighting them on what they watched. I know they still went to their friends house and watched American Pie and shows like that but they did it know I didn't approve. I really don't know if that mattered but it was the best I could do and at least taught them to stick to their values even if it won't change the outcome. If you are going to fail anyways you might as well do it with your values intact.
It is important to be as aware as possible to your kids influences and educate yourself on what they consuming. Articles like this can at least show areas you might want to be looking at that you were not aware of. A lot parents will assume that books marketed to young readers are normally screened by the publisher to be appropriate for young readers. Article like this serve to point out that isn't always true even if it did fail to point towards modern YA books that you may want to give your kids.n I do agree that you need to look themes and messages not just the language or if they describe sex. Dealing homosexuality isn't a prob;em both if they main character blows strangers at truck stops there might be a problem. No problem with the protagonist being a pregnant teen but it would better if the consequences are presented honestly and both parents and the kids handle the situation it a proper manner. It doesn't matter that isn't how it always plays out it shows them what the goal would be. I would have no problem with my eleven year old watching a show like Juno but I wouldn't want them reading some the books described. I have no problem with a book describing sex but I don't want it slipping into erotica. I have no delusions that my kid will not read such things but I think it is better if I am not the one supplying it.
This WSJ article has kicked up a huge fuss on the internet - YA is "too dark".
05/06/2011 03:46:50 PM
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There's only one thing about this literature that disturbs me
05/06/2011 05:39:35 PM
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This is a thought out, finely articulated response.
05/06/2011 06:47:13 PM
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If it were just vampires that would be just fine
05/06/2011 08:03:02 PM
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People have been complaining about this since the novel was invented
05/06/2011 11:02:58 PM
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Apparently the article did paint far too bleak a picture,
06/06/2011 12:39:46 PM
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Why waste time with "YA literature" at all?
06/06/2011 02:14:03 PM
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Re: Why waste time with "YA literature" at all?
06/06/2011 02:28:42 PM
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I think that's a post factum justification, not a reason.
06/06/2011 05:08:09 PM
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Maybe. It's hard to separate, I think.
07/06/2011 01:06:29 PM
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One certainly has to choose the real literature to present, certainly.
07/06/2011 02:27:00 PM
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Very good post.
06/06/2011 08:52:22 PM
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You seem to be the only one who thinks so.
*NM*
07/06/2011 01:17:18 AM
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I don't think it's a bad post... I just think that the "despair" is a teen fad, and not as bad as
07/06/2011 03:19:03 AM
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Suicide rates have gone up significantly
07/06/2011 02:42:55 PM
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Heh.
08/06/2011 07:24:44 PM
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you are having trouble finding cultural ideas that turned bad?
08/06/2011 11:56:23 PM
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The classic problem of the overprotective parent- underestimating your kids
09/06/2011 05:33:54 AM
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the classic problem of people who have no idea what they are talking about
09/06/2011 04:16:25 PM
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Are you really equating reading about trauma with trauma? They are not the same. *NM*
09/06/2011 07:10:34 PM
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I'm sure the percentage of good books must be higher than they make it sound,
05/06/2011 05:53:21 PM
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I'd say books offer a fundamentally different experience than movies
05/06/2011 06:53:55 PM
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I'm not sure that makes a difference here.
06/06/2011 04:47:05 AM
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Because thinking makes you LESS susceptible to these things you're afraid of
06/06/2011 05:27:26 PM
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I don't completely agree with that.
06/06/2011 07:26:21 PM
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I feel like I just can't relate to parents determined to shelter their kids from everything
06/06/2011 10:21:44 PM
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To think the content described is acceptable, when they ban "Huck Finn" for using 'nigger'.
*NM*
05/06/2011 09:45:15 PM
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CNN: "On a website, a person named 'Macharius' used the 'N-word'".
06/06/2011 01:58:35 AM
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Parents have the right and resonsibility to know what their children are reading
06/06/2011 03:41:22 AM
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Re: Parents have the right and resonsibility to know what their children are reading
06/06/2011 12:40:24 PM
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I'd argue if you're old enough to be interested in the subject matter, you're old enough to read it
06/06/2011 05:32:33 PM
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Depends on the subject matter.
07/06/2011 01:07:57 PM
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Basically? Yes.
07/06/2011 06:42:04 PM
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why do think there is value in letting them read whatever they want?
07/06/2011 06:52:20 PM
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Don't be an idiot.
09/06/2011 05:25:26 AM
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Well, I wrote a long piece related to this
06/06/2011 05:21:06 AM
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Great post. She really tries to muddy the waters relating to censorship and parenting.
06/06/2011 08:05:21 AM
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She kind of conflates some issues that are quite different, if you ask me.
06/06/2011 08:47:33 PM
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Wait wait wait wait wait... NYT reviewed Game of Thrones? I must read this
07/06/2011 03:20:08 AM
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it does take a lot of work to keep track of your kids
07/06/2011 05:02:55 AM
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Having now read one of the books mentioned, Cheryl Rainfield's Scars...
08/06/2011 02:18:23 AM
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