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I love talking to perfect strangers imlad Send a noteboard - 15/09/2011 05:34:27 PM
Unless of course it is an extremely good looking woman, then I get kinda shy (damn, I still have that problem at 38!) and will be more cautious in talking to her.

But if it is someone (beautiful woman or not) reading a book I've read, or even just in the F/SF genres, I will often attempt to strike up some sort of conversation, if there is an opening.

If I am in a public place and I see someone reading (that is not obviously totally immersed in the book; you can often tell because they will occasionally scan their surroundings if they aren't immersed completely) then I will usually ask what they are reading if the cover isn't visible. If the cover is visible, and it is something I've read I'll ask them what they think of it so far, or what scene they are at. If it is a genre piece I haven't read, I'll ask them if they recommend it, and try to get a conversation started that way.

But you have to watch for the subtle, and not so subtle, clues of annoyance at being interrupted, and if you spot them, just say "I'll let you get back to the book, enjoy!" and smile and let them be.

EDIT to add: Ironically, I'm more able to start up a conversation with that beautiful woman in a public place (shyness be damned) than I am at a party or a bar (but then, people usually aren't reading books at either of those locations). I guess this stems from the fact that at bars or parties, when a guy starts talking to a woman (or vice versa) it is all part of the process of trying to pick someone up (at which point I get this feeling like she's thinking "what a creep, all he wants to talk to me for is a chance to get into my pants, as if I would let HIM do that" ). But when elsewhere, it feels like it is just the friendly thing to do.

or is it just weird?


To the question in the title: Yes. To the one just above: No.

now if it was the other way around i'd probably embrace it, i come on a book forum i enjoy discussing the finer details of fantasy epic, but would he be of a similar disposition? it wasn't worth the risk of him forcing a smile, humouring me with small talk and then dismissing me with a slight air of embarrassment and then enduring a week of passing each other around the pool and doing that raised eyebrow nod of acknowledgment to each other


No way to know beforehand.

so what's your opinion? ever made an obvious attempt at conversation with a person you see reading something you've read? and this isn't like when you're both in a book shop or a similar established ground for literary discourse. this is where you've crossed the expanse of a park or made for someone where they've noticed your approach and regarded you with wary anxiety as you've out of nowhere made an uninvited beeline for their reading solitude. were you stone walled or did you make a new friend? or do you have a more subtle tactic of perhaps edging closer, leaning over and being like...don't you just hate <insert character name> too?


I stated it above. Yes. I've never made a friend because I've never done it in the "beeline" style you describe. That can be creepy. Instead, try subtlety. I don't go out of my way to make conversation, instead only saying something if I'm already near.

similarly have you ever been received such attentions, how was the experience?


Yes. It's either been a short conversation or one of several minutes, but never a bad experience.

And to answer the overall theme of the post: Speaking to a stranger because you know you both have a common interest or experience is about as normal a reason to speak to a stranger as there is, and I frankly don't understand why you needed to ask at all.


it's questioning whether it's a normal reason to, certainly more reasonable than approaching a stranger and asking what colour their underpants are and how they like it in bed, but still talking to strangers is often outside the social norm unless you're both thrown into an enclosed space for a long period of time
Death to the Regressives of the GOP and the TeaParty. No mercy for Conservatives. Burn them all at the stake for the hateful satanists they are.
This message last edited by imlad on 15/09/2011 at 05:52:27 PM
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does seeing someone reading a book you like justify striking up a conversation - 10/09/2011 08:21:28 PM 1224 Views
I keep wanting to, but I never do - 10/09/2011 11:07:07 PM 965 Views
take the plunge! - 11/09/2011 10:07:45 AM 1167 Views
Only if you fancy them and are using it as an excuse to chat them up. *NM* - 10/09/2011 11:44:07 PM 386 Views
with ulterior motives? - 11/09/2011 10:10:46 AM 821 Views
I wouldn't interuppt someone while they are reading. - 11/09/2011 03:16:50 AM 1088 Views
that's worse surely! - 11/09/2011 10:13:15 AM 982 Views
not to me. - 11/09/2011 05:59:19 PM 880 Views
it is pretty easy tell if they would rather just be reading - 12/09/2011 03:13:30 PM 920 Views
I guess my thing is I just hate to be interrupted and don't want to do it to someone else - 12/09/2011 04:28:30 PM 981 Views
you get that immersed even in public area? - 12/09/2011 06:52:54 PM 828 Views
Usually. If it's not a situation where I CAN, I just won't read. - 12/09/2011 07:23:48 PM 1020 Views
Did you not like the other trilogy? - 11/09/2011 03:36:18 AM 1099 Views
erm, not as much - 11/09/2011 10:19:03 AM 916 Views
I used to be timid. Now I don't care and will happily interrupt. - 11/09/2011 07:42:35 AM 982 Views
Yeah, exactly - 11/09/2011 07:53:48 AM 991 Views
it's the "i will probably never see again" i can't get my head around - 11/09/2011 10:21:45 AM 896 Views
I guess that depends on how you go about it - 12/09/2011 03:16:38 PM 801 Views
That's a nice way of saying "I'm antisociably shy." - 13/09/2011 09:43:17 AM 942 Views
no i meant the opposite - 13/09/2011 02:20:48 PM 850 Views
Answers to questions asked. - 11/09/2011 03:34:32 PM 920 Views
i asked because i wondered how many people would welcome it or view it as an intrusion - 13/09/2011 02:25:32 PM 912 Views
I love talking to perfect strangers - 15/09/2011 05:34:27 PM 1229 Views
I have just gone up to someone and said "good choice in book" - 11/09/2011 04:49:21 PM 910 Views
I can't resist that. I will always say something. Many people have done the same with me - 11/09/2011 06:10:36 PM 1005 Views
are a small town girl? - 13/09/2011 02:30:46 PM 1007 Views
How do you even figure out what they're reading? - 12/09/2011 05:44:30 AM 955 Views
NYC is wierd *NM* - 12/09/2011 03:17:35 PM 362 Views
I can usually tell what people are reading with a glance. - 15/09/2011 01:49:06 AM 1176 Views
Thats why I am glad I don't live in NYC - 15/09/2011 05:41:47 PM 1075 Views
NYC really is a concrete 'jungle' - 15/09/2011 09:41:59 PM 983 Views
Re: No. - 12/09/2011 02:51:40 PM 966 Views
I stirke up conversation with strangers all the time - 12/09/2011 03:12:09 PM 913 Views
exactly! - 15/09/2011 05:46:57 PM 1036 Views
It depends on the situation - 12/09/2011 07:26:02 PM 900 Views
I think so, but it isn't always appreciated. - 15/09/2011 03:20:07 AM 1029 Views

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