I have no problem with BS' dialogue in your example.
Anonymous2000 Send a noteboard - 27/05/2014 03:52:27 AM
I actually had to read it 3 times to even get your point. The "he said" or "she mentioned" portion of dialogue normally doesn't even register with me. I am too focused on the conversation itself to care much (that is what is critical to the story, not the dialogue "format".
Friendly challenge to Larry and other literary "snobs" on the board.....
25/05/2014 06:44:34 PM
- 1299 Views
As it happens, I wrote an example last year.
25/05/2014 07:13:41 PM
- 1279 Views
I have no problem with BS' dialogue in your example.
27/05/2014 03:52:27 AM
- 1097 Views
Right, but we've already established you don't really care about writing.
27/05/2014 04:05:03 PM
- 1154 Views
Honestly, what % of readers do you think would notice this "problem"?
27/05/2014 04:28:25 PM
- 1268 Views
A high enough percentage that you felt the need to make this post. :p
27/05/2014 05:38:00 PM
- 1070 Views
I would characterize myself as lowbrow with you, but that's one of the things I noticed
29/05/2014 12:13:18 AM
- 1095 Views
Re: I would characterize myself as lowbrow with you, but that's one of the things I noticed
29/05/2014 08:35:15 PM
- 1284 Views
Wait, aren't Game of Thrones and A Song of Fire and Ice the same thing?
29/05/2014 09:18:31 PM
- 1158 Views
GoT (without the "A"
refers to the TV series, ASoIaF to the books *NM*
29/05/2014 09:38:28 PM
- 755 Views

Fair enough, but do you mind me waiting just a little bit?
26/05/2014 04:57:18 AM
- 1281 Views
Re: Fair enough, but do you mind me waiting just a little bit?
26/05/2014 09:10:31 PM
- 1292 Views
I really should read Irving, I see
27/05/2014 06:10:50 AM
- 1152 Views
I've only read one book by him, but The World According to Garp, at least, is a great book. *NM*
27/05/2014 05:20:49 PM
- 491 Views
Promising opening paragraph, yes, but...
26/05/2014 10:55:16 PM
- 1032 Views
I think those shifts are part of the character, not something unintentional
27/05/2014 06:08:44 AM
- 1047 Views
I proudly claim the title of literary snob, and will provide you with a quick, unscientific example.
26/05/2014 08:15:04 PM
- 1159 Views
Huh. Lana Del Rey quotes Nabokov... I had not made that connection.
26/05/2014 11:17:47 PM
- 1276 Views
That quote from Lolita sounds like it is from a romance novel with Fabio on the cover.
27/05/2014 03:40:37 AM
- 1065 Views
Alloy of Law was great *NM*
28/05/2014 08:16:26 PM
- 601 Views