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Did she ever actually cheat on you? Vivien Send a noteboard - 26/04/2011 09:39:15 PM
What does "getting close" to cheating mean? I'm buying the "if I were single I guess I'd do that" hypothetical scenario, but I'm confused about the whole cheating thing.

That's a horrible thing to say to your girlfriend/fiancee- if I was single, I would do X, Y, and Z. Also telling her you could never talk to her ever again very easily, even if that's true. Did you consider her feelings when you said these things or was that not a concern?


Setting for the "if I were single" comment: in long term relationships, these sorts of conversations come up, either as hypothetical scenarios or just in casual conversation. So sort of like, "what would you do if we weren't together?" conversations. Jen would have bought a Range Rover and a bunch of clothes, and I would have either kicked out West or gone back to school full time. Sort of like the "would you have sex with that person?" or "would you ever participate in a devil's threesome?" sort of conversations. So that one wasn't like a "I wish I was single so I could do _______", more like "I guess I'd do this if I were single".

Setting for the "I would never talk to you again", when I was travelling and I basically realized she was cheating on me, or getting close to it, I just wanted to make sure she realized (she should have, but I guess: didn't) that I would definitely break up with her, wouldn't get back together with her, and wouldn't be one of those people that goes through a four month process of constantly talking to their ex and so on. I always find that behavior sort of pathetic. What I meant by "people being surprised" is that a lot of people are surprised that I haven't talked to her since we broke up, because most people have to talk to someone they break up with. I'm also not claiming it was easy to go no contact, or to not respond to everything.

I also never said it, even then, angrily or with any malice. I was just like: hey, just so you know, I really will do this.
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