Active Users:625 Time:19/03/2026 03:40:39 AM
Did she ever actually cheat on you? Vivien Send a noteboard - 26/04/2011 09:39:15 PM
What does "getting close" to cheating mean? I'm buying the "if I were single I guess I'd do that" hypothetical scenario, but I'm confused about the whole cheating thing.

That's a horrible thing to say to your girlfriend/fiancee- if I was single, I would do X, Y, and Z. Also telling her you could never talk to her ever again very easily, even if that's true. Did you consider her feelings when you said these things or was that not a concern?


Setting for the "if I were single" comment: in long term relationships, these sorts of conversations come up, either as hypothetical scenarios or just in casual conversation. So sort of like, "what would you do if we weren't together?" conversations. Jen would have bought a Range Rover and a bunch of clothes, and I would have either kicked out West or gone back to school full time. Sort of like the "would you have sex with that person?" or "would you ever participate in a devil's threesome?" sort of conversations. So that one wasn't like a "I wish I was single so I could do _______", more like "I guess I'd do this if I were single".

Setting for the "I would never talk to you again", when I was travelling and I basically realized she was cheating on me, or getting close to it, I just wanted to make sure she realized (she should have, but I guess: didn't) that I would definitely break up with her, wouldn't get back together with her, and wouldn't be one of those people that goes through a four month process of constantly talking to their ex and so on. I always find that behavior sort of pathetic. What I meant by "people being surprised" is that a lot of people are surprised that I haven't talked to her since we broke up, because most people have to talk to someone they break up with. I'm also not claiming it was easy to go no contact, or to not respond to everything.

I also never said it, even then, angrily or with any malice. I was just like: hey, just so you know, I really will do this.
Reply to message
I Seek Life Advice - 26/04/2011 02:52:23 AM 1361 Views
Random bits of advice: - 26/04/2011 03:23:56 AM 1013 Views
Re: Thanks. - 26/04/2011 03:29:52 AM 781 Views
Re: Thanks. - 26/04/2011 04:01:32 AM 1066 Views
I don't understand why NY is not on your radar if you're ambitious. - 26/04/2011 06:10:06 AM 999 Views
NYC is for city people. - 26/04/2011 06:22:59 AM 921 Views
That's fair- NY is the ultimate city. *NM* - 26/04/2011 08:24:58 PM 336 Views
This is such a typical New Yorker post. *NM* - 26/04/2011 08:52:14 AM 375 Views
Re: It is under option two. - 26/04/2011 11:50:40 AM 980 Views
Ok then! - 26/04/2011 08:24:32 PM 908 Views
Re: Yeah. - 26/04/2011 09:01:08 PM 750 Views
I love this post *NM* - 26/04/2011 02:44:11 PM 374 Views
I would if I hadn't just bought a house with the tax credit. - 26/04/2011 03:01:23 PM 1018 Views
"the ambitious folk" sounds odd to me. - 26/04/2011 06:55:40 PM 848 Views
Oh, I know. - 26/04/2011 07:04:16 PM 732 Views
I'm still not convinced two wrongs make a right. - 26/04/2011 07:37:22 PM 707 Views
Re: I'm still not convinced two wrongs make a right. - 26/04/2011 08:19:38 PM 796 Views
You're ignoring a few key facts. - 27/04/2011 05:25:39 AM 754 Views
Ha! -if that's true. - 27/04/2011 08:18:47 PM 1112 Views
Move out west. - 26/04/2011 06:21:43 AM 846 Views
Re: Ha! - 26/04/2011 11:53:09 AM 841 Views
What's your personality like? - 26/04/2011 11:19:59 AM 944 Views
Re: That's a great reply - thanks. - 26/04/2011 12:03:05 PM 961 Views
That's not very nice. - 26/04/2011 08:29:11 PM 883 Views
Re: Setting: - 26/04/2011 08:59:02 PM 793 Views
Did she ever actually cheat on you? - 26/04/2011 09:39:15 PM 890 Views
Re: I thought I sent you a drunk email with the details? - 26/04/2011 11:41:26 PM 904 Views
Re: Seattle. - 27/04/2011 05:32:23 PM 1180 Views
Re: What do I think about that picture? - 27/04/2011 11:59:06 PM 938 Views
Come to Ireland. - 26/04/2011 01:31:55 PM 797 Views
Ireland is a great place for writers. *NM* - 26/04/2011 04:11:04 PM 389 Views
Suicidal, drunk and otherwise self-destructive writers, yes. *NM* - 26/04/2011 06:49:55 PM 376 Views
The best kind! *NM* - 26/04/2011 07:09:06 PM 378 Views
*I* was going to say that! - 26/04/2011 08:25:50 PM 721 Views
To read, perhaps, but not to BE. - 27/04/2011 05:26:40 AM 875 Views
Re: I'm just not sure... - 27/04/2011 02:51:39 AM 784 Views
Re: I'm just not sure... - 27/04/2011 01:23:14 PM 810 Views
Option 4: Dance - 26/04/2011 02:31:09 PM 956 Views
Re: Have my children. - 26/04/2011 09:08:05 PM 829 Views
$30? I fucking hate you - 26/04/2011 03:19:26 PM 777 Views
take the the risk and go with three *NM* - 26/04/2011 05:44:21 PM 539 Views
Re: Thanks for the advice. I'm dwelling on'er. *NM* - 27/04/2011 12:06:37 AM 377 Views
There will likely come a time in your life when you lose some of your choices about taking risk - 27/04/2011 05:08:48 PM 968 Views
Good point. *NM* - 28/04/2011 06:17:04 AM 368 Views
Join the Foreign Legion - 26/04/2011 06:57:21 PM 751 Views
Re: Yeah m, but: - 27/04/2011 12:08:43 AM 921 Views
I have to say this has been the MOST enjoyable thread, in a while. whatever happens... - 27/04/2011 02:30:05 AM 890 Views
There's been a lot of great threads lately! - 27/04/2011 07:52:21 PM 929 Views
Re: You're just jealous... - 27/04/2011 11:56:17 PM 1059 Views
Cute! ^_^ - 28/04/2011 06:16:25 AM 820 Views
I hardly think I am qualified to chime in. - 28/04/2011 06:13:02 AM 1132 Views
I'LL GIVE YOU SOME ADVICE. - 28/04/2011 06:35:24 PM 788 Views

Reply to Message