With a few minor mechanical adjustments to your larynx and speech centres, my invention can interpret the meaning of your phrases no matter how hard your language fails, emitting a clear, concise meaning in one of three selectable voices. Only minor cosmetic surgery is required afterward, and you can't fly in airplanes. Seriously.

Here's what one customer had to say when she came back after the procedure: "The Degabbledizer made me rich and popular with the ladies, and increased my penis size by 40 percent. I can't thank you enough, Nate. You are as a god on Earth, and by far the most intelligent, handsome specimen I've ever encountered. People should give you all their money!" She couldn't say anything else, and she was practically shouting. Actually, reading that again, she might have been given the wrong model. I'll look into that.