Near the end of a long day at work, I decided to take home a double order of inferno wings. They were delightfully hot, and dementedly messy to eat, of course. I washed the burning glory down with a couple of extra strong Bacardi & Cokes, played a video game for a while, and went to bed.

In bed, I discovered something tragic. The batteries needed replacing and there were none in the charger. Well. I've always been rather good at improvising. Unfortunately my improvisation did not take into account the capsicum (hot pepper oil) embedded in my fingers after that double order of hot wings earlier in the day.

You do the math.

Any suggestions as to what I can do to kill the burning without using harsh chemicals on and around my nether-regions are quite welcome. >.<