Well, I don't miss anything I didn't do before I was married. I still can spend an entire day playing games, reading books, doing my stuff. What keeps me from it now are the kids. A relationship isn't about rules. If there is no freedom for a person to be who he or she is within it, it cannot survive. It would make you unhappy, and unhappy people eventually leave. Now, saying that, it does not mean always choosing yourself over the partners wishes. For me it is about communication. If you want to spend the day playing Skyrim, tell the partner. People are not mindreaders, we women wants to think that men is, but unfortunately they are not yet. Evolution might take care of that eventually, one can always hope... The mistakes I saw me and my hubby did in the beginning was expecting things from each other that we had no chance knowing the other one expected. So we started just saying it out loud. It might sound unromantic, but it was not necessary for forever. I flat out told him what I wanted for Christmas, and he gave it to me. He told me that he wanted to spend an entire evening playing games, and I could tell him back if I had something else in mind, if I did he postponed it. Or we found another way around it. Eventually the communication came natural, and he now knows what I really wish for for Christmas, so I don't have to steer him in the right direction any more. It might sound like I've trained him, but in reality I've just let him get to really know me.

We did this with money and housework too. I told hubby 10 years before we got our first child that I expected him to take his share of both the housework and the children. So that is shared 50/50. In return he said that he expected me to learn the household economy, cause he didn't want to be the only one making all the decisions there. I've learned insurance and budget. I keep track of the loan-intrests, and he cooks dinner and changes the diapers. The result is that we are very happy, we respect each other alot, we compliment each others work more than what I see in my friends relationships. I know how much work it is to clean the entire house, so I tell him thank you when I come home to a house all done. I doubt I have ever cooked a dinner he has not thanked me for. Our children has never seen us figh, and that makes me proud