As someone who had a smaller wedding than was expected by certain people...
Danu Send a noteboard - 14/12/2011 10:36:57 PM
I have a couple suggestions...
I do have to ask first though, do you and/or your bride want a big assed wedding? If not...
If not:
1)Remember your wedding is YOUR DAY not your mother or mother-in-laws day nor anyone elses day; this is YOUR day.
2)No matter how damned big you plan your wedding SOMEONES feelings will be hurt. You could have 10 groomsmen and 10 bridesmaids but you left someone out! OMG!
Other than the bridal gown and tux you should limit to one thing that is really important to each of you and if that means you have to cut back on other stuff, so be it. For instance, other than my dress it was important to me to have fresh flowers rather than silk so we had to cut back on pretty much everything else.
Keep the bridal party down to two or three each...sisters, brothers, bestest friends...You WILL hurt someones feelings but...you will no matter how many people are in the bridal party.
Rehearsal Dinner should be no bigger than...the folks actually taking part in the wedding. Brides maids and groomsmen, parents and minister. Ok let's count...bride and groom=2, bridesmaids and groomsmen=3each=6, parents=4, minister=1 which equals a big fat 13. If you want to throw in a flower girl or maybe a favorite uncle who flew in from California...
So let's move on to the Wedding Reception. NOT EVERYONE COMING TO THE WEDDING HAS TO BE FED! Have a dinner for the wedding party and a dance and drinks for everyone else.
I'm a big fan of pot-luck, if you want, have friends or relatives not in the wedding party put together a pot-luck for those who aren't in the wedding party.
Have a Supper Club or Hall of some kind set up for dancing when you expect wedding party dinner to be over. Have a DJ or local band and open beer bar, if the guest want something stronger than beer it is an option but they have to pay.
Look around for local amateur photographer rather than some big expensive photo studio. (High school teacher who just happens to be into photography?) Check it out.
You don't have to get your wedding cake from an expencive bakery, you can get one from a lady who bakes wedding cakes at home.
People expect weddings to be big expensive affairs where the bride and groom try to please everyone. AIN'T GONNA HAPPEN!
This is YOUR day do it the way YOU want it.
Remember, setting limits is good.
Or, you know, you could always elope.
One more bit of advice, if the two of you have a dream of honeymooning at Jackson Hole or Paris or Hawaii, that is where you should spend your money.
I do have to ask first though, do you and/or your bride want a big assed wedding? If not...
If not:
1)Remember your wedding is YOUR DAY not your mother or mother-in-laws day nor anyone elses day; this is YOUR day.
2)No matter how damned big you plan your wedding SOMEONES feelings will be hurt. You could have 10 groomsmen and 10 bridesmaids but you left someone out! OMG!
Other than the bridal gown and tux you should limit to one thing that is really important to each of you and if that means you have to cut back on other stuff, so be it. For instance, other than my dress it was important to me to have fresh flowers rather than silk so we had to cut back on pretty much everything else.
Keep the bridal party down to two or three each...sisters, brothers, bestest friends...You WILL hurt someones feelings but...you will no matter how many people are in the bridal party.
Rehearsal Dinner should be no bigger than...the folks actually taking part in the wedding. Brides maids and groomsmen, parents and minister. Ok let's count...bride and groom=2, bridesmaids and groomsmen=3each=6, parents=4, minister=1 which equals a big fat 13. If you want to throw in a flower girl or maybe a favorite uncle who flew in from California...
So let's move on to the Wedding Reception. NOT EVERYONE COMING TO THE WEDDING HAS TO BE FED! Have a dinner for the wedding party and a dance and drinks for everyone else.
I'm a big fan of pot-luck, if you want, have friends or relatives not in the wedding party put together a pot-luck for those who aren't in the wedding party.
Have a Supper Club or Hall of some kind set up for dancing when you expect wedding party dinner to be over. Have a DJ or local band and open beer bar, if the guest want something stronger than beer it is an option but they have to pay.
Look around for local amateur photographer rather than some big expensive photo studio. (High school teacher who just happens to be into photography?) Check it out.
You don't have to get your wedding cake from an expencive bakery, you can get one from a lady who bakes wedding cakes at home.
People expect weddings to be big expensive affairs where the bride and groom try to please everyone. AIN'T GONNA HAPPEN!
This is YOUR day do it the way YOU want it.
Remember, setting limits is good.
Or, you know, you could always elope.
One more bit of advice, if the two of you have a dream of honeymooning at Jackson Hole or Paris or Hawaii, that is where you should spend your money.
CrazedWeasel
OCWIATJ Forever!
OCWIATJ Forever!
So it turns out that weddings are expensive...
- 12/12/2011 04:24:17 PM
1696 Views
I am looking to drop about a grand on my son's rehearsal dinner *NM*
- 12/12/2011 04:42:53 PM
432 Views
Well, part of it is that the rehearsal dinner isn't on the $5k budget.
- 12/12/2011 04:46:30 PM
703 Views
It is avoidable, but people will treat you like you're a nutcase if you don't do most of the things
- 12/12/2011 05:02:14 PM
742 Views
my first wedding was in church with a pretty dress and a preacher
- 12/12/2011 06:12:02 PM
691 Views
We had a pretty dress and a notary public in the courtyard of the B&B.
- 12/12/2011 09:36:52 PM
737 Views
If I had it to all over again I would have formed a Rock Band and dated supermodels
*NM*
- 13/12/2011 04:20:28 PM
398 Views
*NM*
- 13/12/2011 04:20:28 PM
398 Views
*NM*
I got married two weeks ago for less than that.
- 12/12/2011 09:56:43 PM
847 Views
Hey! No announcement??? Congratulations and may you find many years of happiness! 
*NM*
- 13/12/2011 03:27:51 AM
475 Views
*NM*
- 13/12/2011 03:27:51 AM
475 Views
No, no announcement. I'm not really the center-of-attention type. haha Thanks though! *NM*
- 13/12/2011 03:10:29 PM
402 Views
*NM*
- 13/12/2011 03:10:29 PM
402 Views
*NM*
i had 500 people at my wedding.......
- 13/12/2011 12:05:38 AM
861 Views
Everybody I have ever talked to that had a big, expensive wedding has told me that in hindsight...
- 13/12/2011 03:29:34 AM
652 Views
As someone who had a smaller wedding than was expected by certain people...
- 14/12/2011 10:36:57 PM
784 Views
These seem kind of extreme.
- 15/12/2011 06:03:15 AM
804 Views
because of your history you might find a cash bar lame...
- 15/12/2011 12:59:39 PM
843 Views
Yeah, and that's why Russians are all dying of alcoholism. *NM*
- 15/12/2011 01:46:52 PM
436 Views
You don't have to be an alcoholic to prefer not to have a cash bar at a party.
- 15/12/2011 03:37:15 PM
706 Views
It is lame to expect the father of the bride to shell out tens of thousands for a party
- 15/12/2011 02:00:54 PM
800 Views
What my family tends to do (because it's huge) is this:
- 15/12/2011 02:16:31 PM
845 Views
If they're not close enough to invite to the reception, are they really needed at the ceremony?
- 15/12/2011 08:18:18 PM
813 Views
In most cases, a church ceremony tends to be an open thing. Anyone can come.
- 15/12/2011 10:11:30 PM
835 Views
Apparently it's becoming more common over here to do weddings on a weekday.
- 15/12/2011 02:13:57 PM
706 Views
I can't imagine someone in America announcing their wedding was on a weekday.
- 15/12/2011 10:07:55 PM
935 Views
- 15/12/2011 10:07:55 PM
935 Views
Why does the band get more than the photographer?
- 16/12/2011 04:30:29 PM
610 Views
Because if you put tiny plastic musical instruments on all the tables, your ears will bleed out. 
- 16/12/2011 10:04:59 PM
1043 Views
- 16/12/2011 10:04:59 PM
1043 Views