but I often go through a similar thing. I've tried to come to terms with just having a finicky libido. Frankly I think availability does ruin my desire a little bit, as I'm unbelievably turned on by the excitement of getting to know someone intimately, but fall easy victim to routine, apparently. I'm certain this went a long way toward ruining my last serious relationship, but it's pretty hard to make yourself interested in sex if it isn't there. At times it seemed there was just a roadblock to initiation -- once I'd get going the enthusiasm was there.

Well, anyway, I'm sure that's no help, but I really don't think it's a very uncommon way to feel. It's just weird to be a guy and have these vacillations, when men are sometimes made to look like they're ready to fuck a hole in the wall, any time. I have those moods, too, but they are, to a considerable extent, bound up in the greater play of feelings that arise in the course of getting to know someone more than just superficially.