It's no fun, certainly, to go through. It's a miserable process and kids complicate it and I know this because I'm going through it yet again now. But the point is that if things devolved to a situation where you would rather go through that misery than stay in the relationship another day, it means you need to get out. Once you have, you will be happier and be able to build something else. And at the end of the day, that's a good thing. My first wife is immeasurably happier than she was when we were married because we didn't want the same things or have compatible temperaments. I would say I'm immeasurably happier too, but as I just mentioned I'm in the middle of my second divorce so it's not all sunshine in my life, though I'm enjoying the opportunity to be back out dating. Even after ending a several-month relationship because it wasn't right for me, it was still better than my marriage was even in the beginning, and that's nice.
Like you said, if you're so miserable that it sounds better to go through all the crap, it's time to get out and it's a good thing to do. We do have the 3 boys, but I think it shouldn't complicate things too much since they are older. I'm sure there will be no question that they will stay here with me. He doesn't have time to be with them if they go somewhere with him. He works evenings.
We really don't have any assets to worry about dividing up. Hell, we don't even own a house together. This house is in my parents' name. I will inherit it eventually. The only thing I worry about is my car, which is in his name because we refinanced it last year at a lower rate and it was easier for just him to sign for it. I also worry about how I'm going to be able to pay for the lawyer. I'm hoping I can make payments or else borrow from my parents. We are in a bad financial situation right now (also, another problem in our marriage. He likes to spend money that we don't have), and so there is that problem also. I have my consultation Monday, so will see what the lawyer says. I've never had to do anything like this before.
I just hope everything goes smoothly and no messiness. I don't want to deal with the drama. I just want him to go away, basically. He just needs to get his stuff and find somewhere else to go (maybe move in with the gf??).
le sigh
- 22/02/2016 11:46:16 AM
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