Active Users:1517 Time:23/10/2025 01:00:37 PM
I would like some opinions, please... damookster Send a noteboard - 20/12/2009 03:31:49 PM
I have a friend who has asked a favor of me. He is in the process of writing a book. It is non-fiction in the sense that it is the story of his family coming to America from Calabria in Southern Italy, but he is writing it as fiction (changing names, etc.). He sent me the first 50 pages in a pdf file and asked me for my input and criticism.

Here's the problem.

It's not very good.

The story itself is interesting. But it lacks flesh. A skilled writer paints pictures with words, describing scenes so that we can picture them in our minds as we read. His writing is lacking in such descriptions and reads more like someone recounting a story over dinner. Keeping to the important facts but trying to spare his guests the details that would, in that setting, lose their attention. As a result, it is herky-jerky and lacks a smooth flow.

So, what's the problem? Well, as many of you may have realized, I don't do the whole friends thing very well. I have known this man for over 40 years and still only see him maybe twice a year at the most. Yet gun to my head, I would have to call him my closest friend, after my wife. So how do I tell him his writing sucks without hurting his feelings? I got the sense from his phone call telling me the email was coming that he is extremely proud of what he is doing and sees this as possibly the next great Italian-American novel. Oy gevalt.
Mook

*MySmiley*



"Bustin' makes me feel good!"

Ghostbusters, by Ray Parker Jr.
Reply to message
I would like some opinions, please... - 20/12/2009 03:31:49 PM 779 Views
Well, you could.... - 20/12/2009 03:52:25 PM 509 Views
Maybe I'm a coward - 20/12/2009 03:57:16 PM 596 Views
kind of like... - 20/12/2009 04:02:25 PM 523 Views
Well - 20/12/2009 04:15:04 PM 590 Views
Be up front with him. - 20/12/2009 04:13:52 PM 500 Views
I wouldn't tell him it sucks. - 20/12/2009 04:14:10 PM 491 Views
Ask him if he wants honesty. - 20/12/2009 05:49:49 PM 527 Views
what he said - 20/12/2009 06:09:33 PM 479 Views
Ah, see.... - 20/12/2009 06:24:53 PM 508 Views
Who says "no" when you say "do you want me to be honest?" mook isn't an editor, here - 20/12/2009 08:03:02 PM 512 Views
Bullshit. - 20/12/2009 08:12:16 PM 504 Views
I didn't object to criticism - 20/12/2009 10:30:39 PM 560 Views
This. - 20/12/2009 10:45:40 PM 499 Views
Tell him that you want to see him succeed as a writer and then... - 20/12/2009 06:06:47 PM 452 Views
Could use the critique sandwich. - 20/12/2009 06:13:31 PM 497 Views
Or just tell him it sucks, then give him an actual sandwich. - 21/12/2009 10:34:03 AM 508 Views
Do what my husband did with me. - 20/12/2009 08:11:33 PM 533 Views
In general, I agree with the sandwich method, but... - 21/12/2009 05:36:54 PM 506 Views
I like your answer. *NM* - 22/12/2009 03:25:33 AM 198 Views
My friend, you don't tell him that. - 22/12/2009 06:41:03 PM 538 Views

Reply to Message