Active Users:338 Time:17/06/2025 05:05:16 PM
Perhaps tell him the story has good bones, and you look forward to seeing a future draft. Erith Send a noteboard - 20/12/2009 06:56:06 PM
I suppose it's possible this is a very early draft, and he really is just trying to get the events and facts down before he embellishes at all. Some people write that way (not me, but some do). You know this man better than any of us, but I don't see anything wrong with pointing out that so far it lacks depth and imagery that readers would find stimulating. Are you already familiar with the story? If so, perhaps you could point out that it is easier for you to imagine these details since you are already are familiar with it, and that for readers coming to the story cold it is going to require some texture and setting.

If he really wants to be a writer, he better get used to criticism. And you won't do him any favors by lying or covering up what you think, so by all means tell him. Just do so with a degree of tact and you should be fine.

Good luck.
Reply to message
I would like some opinions, please... - 20/12/2009 03:31:49 PM 739 Views
Well, you could.... - 20/12/2009 03:52:25 PM 480 Views
Maybe I'm a coward - 20/12/2009 03:57:16 PM 546 Views
kind of like... - 20/12/2009 04:02:25 PM 487 Views
Well - 20/12/2009 04:15:04 PM 557 Views
Be up front with him. - 20/12/2009 04:13:52 PM 462 Views
I wouldn't tell him it sucks. - 20/12/2009 04:14:10 PM 457 Views
Ask him if he wants honesty. - 20/12/2009 05:49:49 PM 490 Views
what he said - 20/12/2009 06:09:33 PM 444 Views
Ah, see.... - 20/12/2009 06:24:53 PM 477 Views
Who says "no" when you say "do you want me to be honest?" mook isn't an editor, here - 20/12/2009 08:03:02 PM 478 Views
Bullshit. - 20/12/2009 08:12:16 PM 467 Views
I didn't object to criticism - 20/12/2009 10:30:39 PM 527 Views
This. - 20/12/2009 10:45:40 PM 457 Views
Tell him that you want to see him succeed as a writer and then... - 20/12/2009 06:06:47 PM 417 Views
Could use the critique sandwich. - 20/12/2009 06:13:31 PM 461 Views
Or just tell him it sucks, then give him an actual sandwich. - 21/12/2009 10:34:03 AM 470 Views
Perhaps tell him the story has good bones, and you look forward to seeing a future draft. - 20/12/2009 06:56:06 PM 620 Views
Do what my husband did with me. - 20/12/2009 08:11:33 PM 494 Views
In general, I agree with the sandwich method, but... - 21/12/2009 05:36:54 PM 470 Views
I like your answer. *NM* - 22/12/2009 03:25:33 AM 185 Views
My friend, you don't tell him that. - 22/12/2009 06:41:03 PM 508 Views

Reply to Message