As I recall from your initial post, she felt like she was trapped and such, correct? Maybe she just needs a job to get out of the house on her own, and "re-establishing her identity" will improve her mood to the point where she would be willing to come home again?

I don't know anything that hasn't been posted here, but perhaps some of the reason she claims to be undecided about what to do is she's afraid of what will happen when she does make the choice. I'm about to 110% project myself into this situation, so take warning ( ). If she wants to come home, she could be afraid of the very trust issues you mention yourself as having or afraid that you will use this while things as a kind of emotional blackmail against her later on, or that you'd be so deliberately kind and supportive while she knows you're angry that she couldn't take the stress, or any number of things that you know you'd never do but she in her state considers real and possible.

Maybe you should consider getting "professional help" during this time as well? I did a year and a half ago after a rather rollercoaster eight months, and it helps a lot to have someone not taking sides and able to ask the right questions. At the very least, you could let your feelings go and say what you want to say where it won't bite you in the ass.

Besides, at least you don't have to worry about playing your D&D mage right now, right?