Actually, I don't know if this will interest anybody here, but I was going to do this anyway, so I figured it might possibly be a benefit to someone.

I went into Assassin's Creed II straight from the original, and was surprised at how slow and tedious it was. Ultimately, I just stopped playing because of how boring I found it. I have basically been told by everyone else who has ever played the games that I am completely insane and that the original Assassin's Creed was far worse.

So I've decided to try the game again, but this time I'm going to record my progress. If anybody is curious, I'll be updating this thread. Steam tells me I already have six hours spent on this thing, which I really hope was mostly from reading the histories. But then, it tells me I've got 92 minutes spent on the original, which has to be impossible.

Times are approximations.

0:03 - So I'm going to be told in a little bit that I've been recruited because the Assassins lack personnel, and this game is about training Desmond through bleeding effect. So then, what's this business of searching for a compatible memory between Desmond and 'Subject 16' (I'm assuming Ezio is a common ancestor)? And why can't I just keep running Altair? Dude murdered people in a professional capacity and never gave a damn. And as I recall, Altair fought off both Saladin's and Richard's armies in the same battle. You'd think that's exactly the kind of guy these people want to train me as. I suspect nothing.

0:08 - I have to admit I somewhat like Desmond. He's finally learned to move at a decent pace, and he asks the same questions I do. What is the plural of animus? Also, I liked the shot of the Abstergo cubicle maze from the elevator, but I've got to wonder what the point was of making that room several stories tall.

0:09 - Well, thank Adun these security guards didn't have the time to pick up weapons after the alarm sounded, or they would surely have stopped us! I hope there's some convoluted plan behind this where Abstergo actually wants me to escape because they've injected tracers into my bones or something, but it may just be that they needed an excuse to have me mash the attack and block buttons. I suspect nothing.

0:12 - So what happened to her bloodstained shirt? Did she change while she was driving? Last thing we need is for the Assassins to die out because they can't drive safely.

I am not making a female driver joke.

"Trust me!" says Lucy. Of course! Why wouldn't I? I suspect nothing.

Oh, and my immediate thought on realising that there were three people here? "I wonder which one is going to betray us?" In hindsight, that might actually be going overboard, considering that I'm pretty sure I'm being manipulated and that already counts for our betrayal quota, and that I've also raised the suspicion that I have been tampered with by Abstergo and am therefore myself the traitor. Is it possible to be too paranoid for a game about a secret war between Assassins and the Knights Templar with mysterious alien magitech as the prize?

0:14 - I can't read most of the stuff on the billboard, but what I can see includes the names Dante, Marco Polo, and... a list of the Doges of Venice? And is that the heraldry of Venice? Because it reminds me of Venice's flag in the Medieval II and Empire Total War games. This makes me wonder, how did they know ahead of time that I would be using Ezio Auditore's memory? I mean, aside from me suspecting nothing, how did they know that both Desmond and 'Subject 16' would have this same memory? Do they have family trees? Do I get to see them? Is every Assassin a descendant of Altair? If so, that'd make him Adam. And we already have the Apple. So who's Eve?

Oh, and is that a copy of the map Altair saw when he got the Orb last game?

I wandered about the building, but there didn't seem to be anything interesting to get to. Yet.

0:18 - And we're off.

0:23 - So Ezio knocked out a nice 'your sister' diss and I got to punch people. A lot. This was the punching tutorial, right? But then, what was that back at Abstergo labs? Oh and then I punch some more people. Then I start looting their still writhing bodies. I missed the rich guy so I went through the whole lot of them before finally coming up to the one with over a hundred florins in his pockets.

That just reminds me that there's going to be money in this game. And shops. And upgrades. And customisable formalwear. And building a house. Khas damn it. What's with these RPG elements intruding in every game? I play WarCraft III? You've got heroes with abilities and exp and inventory. Shogun II: Total War? Now instead of developing characters based on their lineage or experiences, they get levels. And ability trees. Hell, Heroes of Might and Magic was already heavily RPG based, but now even your weapons have experience levels. If I wanted to play an RPG, I'd be playing Baldur's Gate, not these games. Of course, RPG elements are the easiest way to add padding to a game while giving the player the illusion of more content. That's why you had to grind hearts to buy equipment in Castlevania II: Simon's Quest.

Stupid RPGs.

0:33 - So after all that I read up the background histories that come up in this game for the places you see and people you meet. That's something I really do enjoy quite a bit. And if you don't, well, at least it's optional.

You know what isn't though? This new mission I just got to follow my brother on a short parkour path (as a native french speaker, I always want to write that as a parkour parcours ). They had this kind of mission in the original Assassin's Creed too, you just followed the path marked by Masyaf flags until it took you back to your contact. It wasn't especially thrilling then, but at least it had a point to it. Oh, and it was optional.

Stupid brother. If the mission is to get back home, than give me a mission to get back home. I don't need a tutorial to learn how to use vantage points (or whatever they're called.) In the original Assassin's Creed, your mission was always to kill some guy, and then you could choose to get enough information to plan the murder through a variety of information gathering methods. In this one, you follow along the path you've been given.

Oh, and note that I still don't have any missions to murder people. Still, I'm probably being too hasty, we've only just reached the title sequence. May it never change us.

0:38 - Not going to lie, the fact that the game gives you action commands to undress mademoiselle Vespucci is hilarious. It's probably only difficult if you're playing the PC version though, it seems to me that the colours and diamond formation are intended to resemble a controller's action buttons, whereas I have to remember which key I assigned those buttons too. Probably a good thing they didn't script anything for the input of 'armed hand' instead of 'open hand'. I'm not really into that stuff.

0:39 - Yay, a delivery quest! You have the option to refuse the mission, but that just means you have to come back later, you don't get to progress the plot without doing them. There's not even a time limit. You get a mission to go talk to some guy a few streets over.

0:43 - So I climbed a few more vantage points and read a few more historical factoids. What's that pink stuff I keep jumping into anyway? In the first game it was hay, now it appears to be leaves of some sort. Can't be autumn, can it? I thought Italy would be too close to the equator to go through this kind of seasonal defoliaging? And which tree's leaves turn pink?

0:51 - I actually got spotted by someone while I was coming back from my errand, so I had to run around until I lost them. I really like the improvement on vanishing in this game. At least now the guards search the area you were last seen in. That's nifty.

Oh and I got a mission to beat the crap out of someone! Those were also in the original Assassin's Creed as well! Except this time you don't need to wait until they're in a dark alleyway, you can beat the living hell out of them in public! Oh, and the mission isn't optional this time either. Seriously though, what's the point of this mission? I've already finished the punching tutorial. I'm not sure if it was at Abstergo or on the bridge, but either way, I punched out a lot of people. Is this guy supposed to be a boss or something? Why does the game make me beat him up?

Anyway, after the flag mission and the interrogation mission (and the rooftop run mission? What was that delivery boy mission, anyway?), I'm pretty sure I've gathered enough information that I could try out my assassination. Normally, I'd want to collect a bit more, but for the our first victim, how hard could it be?

I'm just kidding of course. I'm not killing anybody soon.

Sadly.

-0:02 - Just reading the last of my acquired factoids thus far, and I'll call it a night.

Wait, how can it be negative two minutes since I started the game?!?

Silly daylight saving time. I suspected nothing.

1:01 - Now I've got a mission to collect feathers on the roofs. This one is timed, so it is a rooftop run mission! I have no idea what the feathers do, and I don't expect to be collecting them.

I used to be quite the completionist when I was younger. I purchased Nintendo Power's guide to Donkey Kong Country because I couldn't find that last secret-in-a-secret bonus stage. I know a way to get the 3-up Moon in Yoshi's Island 1 that doesn't require any backtracking (despite what the wiki says, you don't need the cape). I have a save for Chrono Trigger where all my characters are * level, just so I could fight Spekkio's final form. That was probably the one that broke the habit though. Grinding all those levels was so long and tedious. And so many of these secrets and achievements are just time sinks, there to pad out the game so that people have the illusion that the game has more content. It's not about whatever they give you at the end of this trial that matters, it's whether the task itself is fun. The best example of this is the difference between the Riddler Trophies in Arkham Asylum and the ones in Arkham City.

The flags in the original Assassin's Creed was probably among the worst implementations of this kind of padding I've seen. But at least it didn't unlock any game content, so you could safely ignore them without losing anything. I don't know what the feathers do, but I do know that there are other things to collect later on, and those do unlock game content. Hurrah.

1:04 - Now I've got an escort mission. Well, I call it an escort mission because that's visibly the template used, what with her visible hit point diamonds on the screen, but nobody actually attacks our mother, so it's just a mission to follow a walking woman.

1:08 - Shouldn't we be moving?

Oh, they're following me now. My bad.

1:15 - More delivery quests! But at least we're getting glimmers of a plot. I can run errands for family members in real life, and it would be about as exciting and far more productive, so I'm glad that the game has remembered we're supposed to be waging a secret war against the Knights Templar.

1:20 - Oh no! Our home has been attacked and all the male members of my family have been taken to prison! Okay, the plot is starting now, we can forget about the previous hour and start the action. But first, we must climb a tower to get instructions from our father.

1:25 - Okay, now I've got to go back where I just came from so I can get my gear and finally start assassinating people! We're getting there!

1:29 - Seriously, there are separate missions for 'go back home' and 'get your gear'? Why?

1:30 - Yay, we've finally got our outfit! This may actually have taken more time than getting Link's outfit in Twilight Princess. Don't quote me on that.

Oh, and there were guards waiting for me in case I showed up here again. That makes perfect sense. Except, where were you ten minutes ago? Back when I didn't have a sword?

1:34 - So I've delivered yet another letter, and everything's going to be all right. Unless that black-hooded man in the background was intended to be ominous. Who wears hoods in-doors?

1:38 - I haven't mentioned anything about the treacherous gonfalionere because I've already played this far and so already knew he was a traitor. Otherwise, I surely would never have expected this betrayal . Probably should have kept a copy of that evidence, Giovanni! Ah well, hindsight.

1:40 - Holy shit! While trying to escape the guards I failed to jump onto a bridge and instead fell in the water. Ezio can swim! Now I know why they wanted this guy to teach Desmond instead of Altair.

1:47 - I just got my first riddle from 'Subject 16'. Unlike the feathers, I expect that I will be hunting them down, because they're intriguing and don't appear to be especially tedious to collect. I expect the riddles will get more difficult too, this one wasn't too tough. Well, it's ridiculously easy if you've finished the original Assassin's Creed and know what you're looking for.

1:51 - Apparently, I don't get to assassinate anybody yet because I suck at the job. I don't know if this is supposed to be a reversal of Altair not being allowed to assassinate people at the beginning of the other game because he was too good at the job and grew complacent. Probably just a coincidence.

Thankfully, there's a brothel where I can hone my murdering skills. In a game of Dungeons & Dragons, when you go to a brothel to become a murderer, this is not exactly how events transpire. Not that I have any players who would do that sort of thing.

I've got to give this game credit though, 'master the ways of the courtesans' was not one of the information gathering quests in the first game.

1:58 - I lie, that was technically an escort mission where you don't fight anyone, as we did earlier. And then a mission where you bump into people to make money.

Have I mentioned that I don't like the addition of money into this game?

Oh, hey, our hidden blade doesn't even work. I guess father was lax in his Assassin duties.

That's it for today, but I'm pretty sure I'll finally get to kill someone next time!

2:07 - My hidden blade's repaired and I got to murder a random guard. That's satisfying. I like to sneak up on people and stab them. I still want an actual assassination mission, though.

2:13 - And I've got one! All it took to get this far was...

1 flag mission

3 letter delivery missions

1 interrogation mission

1 rooftop run mission

2 escort missions

1 assassination mission

a couple fighting missions, a lot of 'go to this location' missions and a number of tutorials.

I'm so glad we no longer have to go through 2-6 information gathering missions in this game. Because those were tedious.

I could have played through Sonic the Hedgehog in its entirety by now. And it would have been a lot more fun.

2:18 - I've got to say that the blend action is so much better in this game than in the first. You can go at your normal speed, slip from one group to another, and while in the original you could only blend with groups of priests or scholars because they were the only ones dressed like you (minus all the blades) in this one you can blend with anyone, because nobody dresses like you in anyway. Not being sarcastic here, this is really great.

2:23 - Accidentally got a feather while trying to find the secret 'truth' hidden on this building. Did that just say "1/100"? Seriously? I actually had to look up the wiki to make sure that they didn't unlock anything useful. Thankfully, they don't. Okay game, we're good. I don't care about your hats.

2:30 - I had a surprising amount of difficulty stabbing the three guards on the rooftop with the secret marker without one of them spotting me. Evidently I've lost my touch since I last played these games.

2:32 - And it was even easier to decipher than the first one. I mean, how can you possibly get confused by this enigma? Anyway, now we know there's a door on the other side of the pool of water the two naked people were jumping in.

2:35 - I'm back on course and making my way to the building's entrance. There are groups of courtesans nearby and the game seems to be telling me that I should be hiring them. I'm pretty sure I can make it without them.

2:37 - I did. Now I'm inside.

And I just walked straight up to Umberto and stabbed him repeatedly. This was the payoff? After two and a half hours, this is my first assassination? It might as well have been a cutscene.

Thus far I've mostly been complaining about how long it takes to get to the assassinations, but here's this game real flaw, here's why the original Assassin's Creed was so superior to this game: the assassinations are garbage. Maybe they get more interesting further on, but how long am I expected to play this game before I get to anything good?

In Assassin's Creed, the entire game, up to its terribly disappointing climax, is centred around the assassinations. Everything you're doing in a city when not assassinating someone is preparing for that assassination. The first time I played I didn't realise this and pretty much just charged in against my first target because I hadn't figured that the game would actually expect me to think. So I didn't. But all the information you gather during the information gathering missions? It's useful. When preparing the final three assassinations, I gathered all the info I could, surveyed the location where the assassination would take place, planned out my course of action. And I was rewarded with smoothly run assassinations. That game gave you the satisfaction of a plan coming together. The game gave you the information and tools you needed to carry out the mission, then allowed you the freedom to fail or to succeed.

What have I achieved in the last two and a half hours? Character background and motivation? This game switched genres on me. It used to be an action puzzle game, now it's an action RPG. I don't dislike RPGs - I've played quite a few and enjoyed them, but when I start an RPG I know what to expect. But I was expecting more murders to plan. I was expecting this game to ask me to give it a little thought. What I got was more than disappointing, half-arsing this assassination would have been an improvement. I walked into the building without blending - accidentally, I thought I was in a group, but was actually between two separate groups - and just passed the guards at the door without even attracting their attention. From there I walked straight up to Umberto, normal speed, no concealment of any kind, and he just shouted "You!" and stood there, paralyzed. I don't know how you can fail this assassination without deliberately trying to. And yeah, it's the first assassination in the game, but it's still two and a half hours in.

What's worse is that the assassinations was the only thing that really stood out about the original Assassin's Creed. The stealth was more fun in Arkham City. The fighting was more fun in Arkham City. Traveling across cities from above was more fun in Arkham City. Finding secrets was more fun in Arkham City. And you know what else Arkham City let me do? Fight the Penguin before the credits had even finished rolling. Basically, why am I playing this game when I could be replaying Arkham City?

2:43 - Gotta love how to decrease my notoriety I can kill "corrupt" officials who are bearing "false witness" against me. I'm pretty sure I just murdered a high ranking official of the city in the middle of a high society gathering, I have no idea why they'd need to make up facts about me to spread to the populace. I think "This guy just murdered someone in cold blood, no one is safe, if seen report him immediately" would work just fine.

2:45 - Last time I played this game I tore off a sign and bribed a crier, so this time I decided to go after one of these "corrupt" officials. I used to be a notorious assassin, but after cold-bloodedly murdering this guy in the middle of a public place, I am now incognito. They suspect nothing.

2:48 - We've got a new escort mission in preparation for our next victim. Is it just spite talking or was this one really long?

2:55 - Wow, I don't remember those bards from the first time I played. Maybe it's because back then I actually remembered my controls and knew how to throw money around, which I evidently no longer do, but these guys are hilarious. The City should fire its guards and replace them with the bards, 'cause these guys can recognise me instantly. Is there a way to reduce my notoriety with them? .

Actually, they remind me of the pushy beggars from the first game, but now they're loudly singing about how you're a criminal. Gave me quite a fright they did.

And that's it for now. Anyway, now that we've gone through our first practice assassination, finished our tutorials and established Ezio's background, it's only going to get better from here on out. Right?

Hint: The first time I played, I quit after the second assassination.

3:05 - I've reached the Villa, where I will learn of all sorts of things I can collect but don't really want to.

3:08 - Shopping spree!

3:14 - So not only does Mario give me money so that I can complete this Shopping Mission, but I also get money as a reward for completing the mission. Heh. Not every mission needs a monetary reward, guys.

3:15 - Found another one of subject 16's glyphs. Also an easy one, but this time it reveals... scaffolding? I'm not sure. Are these videos out of order?

3:19 - Combat tutorial! Over three hours into the game. Aside from the taunts, I was already using these moves too.

3:23 - Wait, so Ezio isn't motivated to get revenge on the Pazzi? I thought that was the whole point of spending all this time doing quests for our family only to have them immediately killed!

3:25 - Holy crap guys, I've already got another assassination target! And all I had to go through was a notoriety tutorial, an escort mission, a battle mission, a shopping tutorial and a combat tutorial! I may have been wrong about this game, things are definitely speeding up!

3:26 - Huh, found a Minerva statuette while heading to the goal. I'd actually forgotten about these, are they all this easy to find? Might be worth actually looking around.

3:40 - Okay, so I found four statuettes, and at first I thought I'd have one for every pedestal and the second one would be somewhere else in Italy, but no, I've actually found both the Jupiter and Minerva statuettes (along with Apollo and Venus) so I have to imagine that they're all strewn about Monterigionni. And with these two statuettes, I've discovered....

...2 000 florins. Well, no need to go looking for the others then. Back to murder someone I go!

Oh, I also picked up two more feathers while looking for the statuettes. It was an accident, I swear.

3:44 - An escort mission to follow Mario up a hill. Why couldn't he have already been up there? I mean, I had to ride to San I don't remember the town's name by heart to find him anyway, was it really necessary to give me a mission to escort him up a mild incline?

3:46 - An Archer mission! Excellent, these were probably my favourite information gathering missions. And I get throwing knives just to make it easier.

3:48 - And now we've got a bunch of big fights coming up. I love when we have big fights instead of stealth. That's why I loved the ending to Assassin's Creed far more than any of the actual assassinations. This game, I swear...

You know, the town looks pretty unfazed by the large fights between the guard and armed invaders happening in the streets. Renaissance Italians were apparently more blasé than I ever imagined.

3:55 - Okay, I've finally got the go-ahead to kill Vierri! But first, I just spotted a vantage point!

3:58 - And one of subject 16's secret codes! This one was a bit harder, if only because I'm not entirely sure what I was looking for in one of those pictures. I mean, it's impossible to actually fail the enigma, so whatever, but still. Giving credit where it is due. And yes, these videos are definitely out of order. Doesn't seem to be a way to change their order either.

Why is that fountain glowing brighter than the sun when I look at it with eagle vision? I don't appear to be able to interact with it...

4:03 - And here's another hidden 'truth'! Huh. A sword and a staff now? That's new. And that's definitely the door from #2 opening. Can these be put into order?

And I got another feather. How do I keep stumbling into these? I swear I never got a single one the first time I played.

4:10 - I also found a page of the codex, though this was intentional. I don't really want to go after them, but they give useful upgrades, I think.

Hey look, it's the return of the mysterious black-hooded man! And this time he's with his co-conspirators!

I'd love to speculate about whatever it is they're conspiring to do, but aside from being behind the death of - the Duke of Milan, was it? - before the game started, I have no clue as to what they're doing. I imagine it has something to do with the mysterious alien magitech sphere. Or maybe there's an alien magitech sword or staff in this game, how would I know?

4:15 - And Vierri's dead now. I assassinated him. And by 'assassinated' I mean 'swung a sword until he and his guards were dead'. Seriously, the assassinations in this game are so ridiculously boring. This is where I gave up last time. I figured that even if the game did eventually get fun, it wasn't worth the drudge.

And instead of 2-6 information gathering missions, this time I had to go through:

2 escort missions

1 archers mission

3 fighting missions

And a notoriety tutorial, a shopping tutorial and a combat tutorial.

Well, it was definitely less tedious than the first one, I have to admit that. If this keeps up, then we will eventually get to a point where there are less obligatory information gathering-style missions in Assassin's Creed II than there were optional information gathering missions in the original Assassin's Creed.

But it is not this day.

4:20 - I just finished killing a dude and I've already got my next target. This had me hopeful for a moment. I suspected nothing.

Also, now Ezio is all about getting revenge and finishing his father's work, though I don't quite recall what persuaded him. As far as I recall, he was going to leave for Spain, then heard that Mario had been suffering Pazzi harassment because of him and decided to help him out. I'm not sure when we decided to take over the Assassin gig.

And if we're completing our father's work, why was the hidden blade broken when we got it?

Hey, I just realised that it's been over four hours and two assassinations since we've seen Desmond. Not that I'm complaining, since this game is drawn out enough as it is, but that may force me to revise the number of betrayals that are going to occur in that storyline.

4:22 - I just got a mission to read the letter Mario gave me at the end of the last mission. I already read that! And it doesn't provide any important information, whether game- or story-related!

Does this game really believe I need to be held by the hand every bloody step of the way? I guess that would make sense given the backlash against the freedom and expectation of planning behind the first game, now they've decided their target audience is made out of goldfish. Adun have mercy.

4:23 - Hurrah, now I've got a mission to find codex pages. And these I pretty much have to find since they're the source of hit points and assassination techniques. I cannot contain my joy.

4:25 - Now the game wants me to climb the villa's bloody viewpoint! I climbed that the first moment I had an opportunity over an hour ago! I don't need a viewpoint tutorial, I already had that with the flag mission we got back at the very beginning of the game! Remember, when we had to follow our brother up a tower and we got the sweeping shot of Florence with the whole 'Ubisoft presents Assassin's Creed II'? You're taking this 'let it never change us' thing far too literally, I don't need constant tutorials for things I already know how to do and have been doing for hours!

4:35 - Found the Codex pages. Also found two more statuettes. Also found a mysterious door that won't unlock unless I do something through UPlay. This game has so many hidden secrets it's given me no desire to uncover.

4:40 - Now I get to upgrade this town. I've got nothing else to really spend this money on, so why not. Besides, I want to check out those mines. You always have to check caves for loot. Same probably applies to the well, but I spent all my money before getting to that one.

Also, checking the ledgers revealed that there are portraits of my targets in this Villa. I have to remember to check those out next time I come by.

4:48 - There's this secret room beneath the Villa where Altair's armour is hidden. I won't ask why ancient armour would be superior to modern armour, since it probably has to do with alien magitech, nor will I ask why they don't just dig through the stone around the gate, because there's probably ancient Assassin traps or whatnot and I don't really need to justify such obvious gameplay elements anyway, but I do have to ask why there are tombs under great Italian cities for all these Asian Assassins.

Eh, there might actually be a reason for this, so I'm going to give the game the benefit of the doubt.

Oh, and the game is kind enough to tell me that I must get that armour, so hurrah for more item collecting. This game is more padding than content.

4:57 - So I visited the mines and I was correct, there is loot in there! Sadly it was only around five hundred florins, so it would likely have been more efficient to have searched for statuettes. If I were interested in getting money in the first place.

5:00 - I have returned to Florence and...

... you know, I just realised that this game is really drab. There are people dressed in red who should be really standing out (I mean, I can guarantee that was the reason they chose to dress in red), but somehow, they fade into the same pale brownish theme that everything else does. There's no colour anywhere. Is this what Italy looks like? Or is this one of those "realistic" palettes the likes of which I've never seen in actual reality?

And perhaps my aesthetic dislike for this game is a minor point, but at least it gave me something to think about, distracting me from the unrelenting tedium of this game. Look back to the beginning of this session and tell me what happened during the last forty minutes.

Forty minutes. Forty minutes of absolutely nothing of any worth happening. I didn't even get anything story-related either, just the name of my next target.

This is not just a worse Assassin's Creed game, it hardly even qualifies as a game! It's merely a series of cutscenes strung together with menial chores! At only one point during the last five hours of gameplay was I required to give this game even the barest thought, and that was when I was trying to get past the three sentries on the chapel roof when I was looking for my second glyph. And I say the barest thought because this was a task of such extreme simplicity, that had the game not conditioned me to utter mindlessness it would not have even been worth mentioning. As it is, I did have to retry it twice before I deigned to actually pay attention.

Incidentally, the solution to that most difficult problem the game has posed me thus far was to take a step backward after killing each guard before moving on to the next.