"When raw, it is a terrible detriment to everything that is pizza. It is unassailably hard, its sweet pungency an affront to whatever topping it is positioned aside. It is quite frankly, awful. The people who despise it are right in their cries against the pineapple menace.

But when appropriately browned and cooked, it is a thing of beauty. The fruity sweetness mellows into a gentle tang, the hardened flesh veritably melting in your mouth, gently caramelized with all the hints of whatever was cooked beside it. Paired with ham, it is a thing of glory. Ham notwithstanding, even beef is raised a bar above by its tropical embrace. Vegeterian replacements or imitations are similarly improved - it is the browned excellence upon which a pizza goes from being a pedestrian item of mere engorgement to an erudite's pleasure.

There are two types of people in this debate - those who have experienced pineapple on pizza done poorly, and those who have experienced it done correctly. You are no less a person for being unenlightened, but I and the others only pity the fact that your revelation has yet to happen."